#2012?? before it end!

Time passed just like a shooting star.
Really fast~
Today was the last day of the year of 2012.

Hmm~ this few weeks were busy weeks~
There was a Japanese girl named Natsuki Kamada stayed in my house as we are the host.
She is a cute girl, really cute especially with her long hair, demo she cut her hair short when she came to Malaysia as everyone know Malaysia was a terribly hot country.

Somehow, she was kind of choosy fella~ She don't really eat much and she don't really like to try new food. That was the part that my family got in trouble and headache about it the most.
Other than that~ was fine.

We went to Genting on the 26th of December and stayed over for one night.
In my opinion, it was a boring 2 days 1 night trip and I felt like wasting the RM 132 for the theme park. LOL~
Playing kiddo games~ was the day of my life which I can't forget~ LOL.
What a funny trip of all and it was only 3 of us~ boring~
Even though, it is boring...I do managed to observe various kind of cute and lovely stuff.
As what i remembered, was the daddy~ He was really cute and lovely. He was a great dad! Honestly, he don't mind being the kid's nanny by helping his daughter to carry a Hannah Montana's bag eventually I guess his daughter is around standard 5 or standard 6. What a lovely daddy, as I know daddy used to has ego face, carrying a girl's bag...hmmm~ i guess it should be a shame to them. LOL.
Somehow, the daddy was really awesome!

In the same day, Cow called me when I was in a cable car. LOL~
She asked about him. She asked how was everything going on. Eventually I didn't told her directly through the phone but message her.
I told her everything that was on my mind.
I remembered she did say, "really don't care about it meh?"
hmmmm~ I guess...yea~ which I have promised myself not to do that after the incident that happen on the 12.12.12.

Camp which on the 28th of December at the Glory beach~ hmmmmm~
Kind of excitement since I was like staying in a foreign country and talk less than usually, much more lesser than my usual day~ LOL. Somehow, I do learn a lot from them! They are nice, I guess if I can speak well in Nihon-go~ I guess I will be the noisiest~ LOL.
Anyway, some Japanese thought that I was good in Nihon-go, I guess what they means was at least I still can communicate with them even though I am not that good in speaking Nihon-go. LOL.
Or, they are just being polite~ LOL
Anyway, glad to meet them. Hope next year when I join this camp, I would be able to speak better Nihon-go. Gambatteh kudasai!

Along the 3 days 2 nights camp, I did chat with him and yet there was one fine day which Alan tried to imitate the way he flirt with others girl. LOL. and remember..he did mention about, "if i speak the way how he speak, you will still flirt with him right?" LOL
Actually I know what that means. lol
Somehow, I reply him with "halleluyah, peace in my mind"
Yea~ I guess I do. Sheryi is strong.
No matter what happen~ no one is allow to take away my happiness.

He like to flirt is his business, on the day of 12.12.12...I guess I did learn something.
Don't tell me that you are trying to flirt less, prove to me if you care about me.
Trust is just like a crystal ball. When it was broke, nothing can fix it and there will always a scald even though it is fixed.
Somehow, I know you don't care...so yea~ why should i care?? LOL
You said, your type of girl should lovely, caring, understanding, little jealous but don't think too much. *I guess that's all if I'm not mistaken* LOL
So yea, actually I wanted to tell you...if you don't hope the girl to think too much~ then proved to her? not just sweet talk~
LOL. Somehow, just forget about it~ I know it won't happen~ *laugh* I don't means not to trust but I guess I trust what ever I saw~

Even though you said, Mr Piggy and Ms Piggy... but for me~ they don't have much relationship~
I still remembered the awareness, I stated my status on facebook as may be i'm single or it's complicated. LOL
Exactly, I don't really know whether we are in relationship or what ever.
So, i might consider that as I'm single~ LOL
So yea~ LOL. I guess, regard this kind of thingy, i might just hand it to the God. LOL

And yet today was the last day of the camp, after the camp, we went to Selangor Pewter which Natsuki bought a pewter which cost RM 150 something. LOL
And we traveled back to Seremban by KTM eventually I don't really know how to travel from KL Sentral back to Seremban. This was really my first time. LOL. Gome nei~ >.<
However, thank God that Dylan was there, my life savior. LOL
He was the photographer for the camp, kind of funny guy eventually a lot of Japanese girls said that he was sexy. Haha..
hmm~ for me rather than sexy..I guess I will consider him as kind of cute and handsome~ LOL
I don't really managed to speak with him until today when he was arranged by Lion Chea to fetch us to KL Sentral. what happen was, he can just drove off after dropping us but he didn't. Hmmm~ a gentleman?? LOL
Dylan was a 23 years old guy eventually I guess he was 24 when I was asked to guess his age. *laugh*
and he stay just near where I stayed. So yea~ I found another new friend which can help me when I was lost in KL. ahahahahahaha~
funny joke~ *laugh*
Anyway~ I'm great to meet him~

Last by not least~ Wishes of the year before it end.
What I wished was, I hoped the world will free of any crime and natural disaster.
A totally safe and nice earth which everyone can live happy ever after.
God bless everyone :)
No more rapist, no more pick pocket which eventually Hiyako-chan's passport was stealed by a pick pocket. *laugh* It happen when she was in Mid Valley. Screwed people who do this.

Secondly, I would wish my family healthy and dreams come true~ everything goes smoothly and always happy.
Of cause my family included  Higo's family. From the moment, I called them Okasan and Otosan, I have included them as part of my family. :)
God bless everyone :)

Thirdly, I would wish that I can do well in my studies and got a scholarship~ So that my parents won't be that suffer. God bless me~
Gambatteh kudasai~ Sheryi is the best!
Be happy don't worry~
my best quote of my life!
*laugh*

Gambatteh kudasai!  :)
xoxo

#blue sky

13.12.12
Whimsical of blue sky~
Close the eyes...listening to my favorite song...
I felt better~

My mood no longer like yesterday~
Sunny day is here~

I don't know..
Why am I that aggressive?
Why am I that emotional when he did not reply my message?
Why am I....
So many questions bound out from my brain.
Keep asking me why am I doing such a thing~
Even myself is laughing at myself.
Period huh?? *laugh*
Not like me at all~
but~ I believed, everything is going to be so fine~
let the God decide it~
Now on...i guess i choose silent~

I won't wait for your message;
I won't hold the phone tight anymore;
I have my life to go;
and you have yours as well;
Go ahead with your stuff and blast it out;
actually~ I do really understand when someone is busy and tire.
I know the condition well..as I been that for so many years~
I totally understand about it~  I don't want to be a trouble maker.
Trouble you all the way long.
As I don't like to trouble people and I don't like myself being trouble as well.
Sheryi should be go back inside the box. *laugh*
It is a bad thing that releasing Sheryi out from the box~ *laugh*

I want Allegro, and I prefer Allegro.
Gloomy day doesn't suited me at all.
May be sometimes~ Adagio? *laugh*
I don't mind, as long I'm happy :)
Happy ever after~
God bless everyone and peaceful every way. :)

#last drop

12.12.12
Shall I make a wish??
If I do, I wish I will be a better me~

Waiting for you is a hard chore;
Waiting for your message is like an idiot;
Care about everything that you have done was like an insane;

I don't know what do everything that you have done means to you, but it do means a lot to me.
but...I guess you found a better me~
If you don't care why should I care about it~
Why should I care about it that much~
I did try to find reason for you, but...it doesn't work at all...I was so struggle between it.
I did try to find excuses for you, but...rational told me that It is impossible~
It even came to a situation that~ I believed misunderstanding did occur~

I know you are not my stomach's worm but...I can't ask you either, because I really don't know...in your heart..what am I?
a good mate?
or..
your ms piggy?
eventually...you gave me a feeling that you are not my Mr piggy even though you said you wanna be my Mr piggy.
I found that, you don't even belong to me, not even partially or quarter.
I'm a noob when things come to me, I don't know what should I do.
Don't tend that I will know what the meaning behind.
I'm stupid~ I'm an idiot~

Somehow, I will think...are there all lies??
If there are...Don't comfort me with your lies, I don't need sympathy or empathy~
I rather you hurt me with the truth. At least I will just cry off like a baby and stand up as a better me for the next day.
Don't give me any hope or promises if you think that you are not able to finish it or made it done for me. I will believed in it~ I will let myself out from the box.
Eventually, I guess I was wrong~
I shouldn't let myself out from the box.
I shouldn't believed that in the dark, I'm able to find you standing beside me.
I shouldn't believed every single word that you told me.
I shouldn't believed that we will make something different.
I shouldn't believed that you will with me when I'm crying.
I shouldn't stop being a porcupine.
I 'm an idiot!
Why am I getting deeper and deeper?
Why am I hoping that you will be the someone who hold my hand?

There is no fairy tale~
This will be my last time~
tears being out from my eyes~
mood being ruined~
I want a sunny day not a gloomy day~
I know where should I stand....
Just hand everything to God~
Le it flow what ever it should~
*pat my heart* everything will going to be so fine...

#sad case~ 12.12.12 miracles which not belong to me~

#lesson??

There's a good news!
That is the baby is safe~ yeah ^^
Honestly, it is a kind of cruel if you really planned to do abortion. :(
It is sinful although it should be the right decision especially you have no financial support at all.

The daddy said he wants the baby, I guess...he had told you about it long time ago right??
Honestly, through what ever stories that you told me...
For me, it's don't made sense..What are you worrying eventually you are still in love with him?
What's wrong with his friends?? He should be the one that you gonna live with..not his friends.
I don't speak out all this is just because you was so firm on your decision and  you do believed that his friends were the trouble maker and they are those who caused you broke up with you boyfriend and eventually...you said you are suffered from mentally illness all because of his friends.
I don't know~ Through my understanding..still~ communication is the key of success. Instead, you guys are lack of communication. You don't tell him how you felt, are you going to expect him to know about it?? O.o
You kept everything, your baby, your feeling, your sadness, your problems to yourself...I means for me is alright because I was trained to be...but for you~ you don't seem to be..and your problems no longer a small issue but it's regard with your future.

Only solution for pregnancy is get marry..somehow I'm surprised that what brings courage to you that you wants to be a single mother and soon you decided to do abortion.=.=
Isn't it a great idea if you speak with the father, that's all~ problem solved. Why made things complicated??
Somehow, I believed...your future will no longer as what we expected and same as us. So, I wish you luck. Good luck in your future. God bless you :)

However, through her case, I learn a lot. One of it was, "think twice before you action". The consequence that you caused, you might can't accept.
Babies are innocent. Children are innocent. Don't "make" them if you are not prepare.
If it's happen~ accept it! and be responsible on it!
Guys or girls~ no matter who was it? Who started it? Be responsible~

Somehow, it's kind of awkward when you knew someone is pregnant and she was your classmate~ *laugh* Unbelievable~ I thought it won't happen on me~ eventually, it's happen! *laugh*
Life is unpredictable~ *laugh*

#fool?

I felt myself like an idiot.
What am I hoping for?
An answer? A reply? Your message?
Why am i keep looking at the phone and worried that i will missed your message.. eventually...disappointment growth each time I looked at it.
I guess...i am really the only idiot who cares about it.
I hate you for controlling my mood.
I hate you for controlling my mind.
I hate you for controlling my heart.
i hate you...why turning me into an idiot.
Why am i still believing in something it might not happen?
Why am i believing in something which i don't used to believe?
or...everything is just a misunderstanding...
i'm that stupid till i misunderstand everything that u have done..

#cinema

Hooray!!!!! MERDEKA!!! Even though still having a last paper which is Moral on the next Friday, my holidays and Christmas mood is on!! *laugh*

Today~ We went for a movie again at Tropicana Mall. Today show was Life of Pi.
Basically, that was a nice show which worth to watch.
Touching and it's reflected that the world really a huge world, an enormous which full of miracles. The sad part of the movie was no one believe him, no one believe in his story which he had to tell lies to entertain those Japanese guys.

What happen was, that fella...he paid RM10 and sleep in the cinema.*laugh* According to what he told me, he was tired but he is there is because I wanted to watch. *laugh* Actually I felt like troubling you. :)
Somehow, there was some scenes which made me cried and he was like...he hugged me and asked me not to cry. My God! *laugh* I was so awkward man, but..thank you~
and your hoody as well, I guess you are colder that I am...thanks for the caring :) It is sweet~ *laugh*

I don't know~ which or what is our status for now...but, thanks for everything...although I didn't do well in my paper but today can be consider a happy day. *laugh*

#WE

我確定 by Victor Wong

作詞：易桀齊
作曲：易桀齊/伍冠諺
編曲：黃冠豪

心 , 感謝認識你
你 , 充滿我的心
愛情好神奇 有時不需要言語
生活裡默契讓我們都驚喜
心 ,如果沒有你
我像無頭的蒼蠅
未來跟過去比
我相信一定有趣
你是我欣賞不完的風景
此時此刻我確定
我確定永遠都愛你
我決定你的決定像信仰一樣的堅定
此時此刻我確定
就算窗外雷聲驚天動地
現在身邊那個人是你 我就安心

心 (心) ~ 感謝認識你
你 (你) ~ 充滿我的心
愛情好神奇 有時不需要言語
生活裡默契讓我們都驚喜
此時此刻我確定
我確定永遠都愛你
我決定你的決定像信仰一樣的堅定
此時此刻我確定
就算窗外雷聲驚天動地
現在身邊那個人是你我就安心

此時此刻我確定
我確定永遠都愛你
我決定你的決定像信仰一樣的堅定
此時此刻我確定
就算窗外雷聲驚天動地
現在身邊那個人是你我就安心

嗚 ~ 我確定 ~
~~~~~~~~
This was my song of the day~ Though, Victor Wong is a great singer! :)
Basically, I’m really grateful that we know each other.
Like the lyric,
"心 , 感謝認識你" :)

Let me flash back…
If wasn’t me that stubborn and insisted to study law...
I guess for now, I should be at Sabah studying Ekonomi Antarabangsa or else in UM majoring in Music.
Yea~
Then, we won’t know each other or meet each other..
We will like…strangers??
*laugh*

Somehow, yesterday you told me…
You want to be my Mr Piggy. Partially which belong to me...*this is what I said* :)

***What means partially to me?? Basically, that's because you still have your life to go. You still have your family and friends and I have mine as well. I don't need you to be 24/7 with me, accompany me, but at least I know you were there whenever I need you, whenever I need your hugs and it's same goes to you. In a relationship, everything it's just depend on trust...***

Obviously, I’m kind of happy but I’m scared. :(
In the sense of…consider and think too much.
As I said: “ My growth is a silent, is a secret…I used to live in a box, building walls was my talent…from young, I was instilled with “not to trust”…”

Yea~ somehow that was only part of me…

My growth is a silent, is a secret because I think that no one will know me…I don’t like to share my feeling especially the sad part…I don’t hope others people to get involve into my moody mood. I know myself quite well, If I shared…I would no longer smiling or laughing and tell you about it…I will like crying while telling you eventually I don’t want it to happen.

I used to live in a box and building walls was my talent because I’m coward! I’m scared of getting hurt~
In order to protect myself, this was the only way…lock myself inside a box instead, I guess it should be lock my heart inside the box like the Octopus inside the Pirate and the Caribbean. He locked his heart inside a box and buried it deeply into one of the island. With all this, I only can feel better and make sense. With this, I can really laugh like no bodies care. With this, I can really sure that my heart is been protected.

From young I was instilled with “not to trust”. I guess this should be credit and thanks to my Mumi and all those passed memories which prove that my Mumi was right. That's the part I feared the most..
In a relationship, trust existed the most. I will try~ I hope it worked since I been having this habit for almost 20 years?
What I means trust was using my heart truly believe that you are good to me and you won't do anything to hurt me.
Just like Darren and Cow. Honestly, they are my only best best friends for the past 20 years because I don't easily mark friends as my best friend. So yea~ but I don't know whether this, for them, it is a good thing or a bad thing. *laugh*
If it was like normal small case thingy, I might believe, as what my friends always said that I'm really someone who easily get cheated. I was like, " yea~ I'm!!" Instead this don't hurt me. It don't cost me anything. As long as you are happy, I'm fine with it. :)
I will believe, but not trust. I don't know whether others peoples will understand what am I trying to express but this was how I differentiate it between believe and trust.

I don’t know~ you said I looks very happy but can see sadness behind me.
Somehow, I’m pretty sure I’m a kind of person who really can cover my sadness perfectly if you don’t trigger it. That’s why I’m curious…what made you said that statement?

However, I’m grateful that we are not stranger as well as Alan and new friends. You guys really make me growth. I means at least I learned something out of it. Yea~
*laugh*

Great day! and it's time for me to fight for my FINALS~ FIGHTING GO GO GO !!!!!! XD

#distance

"Lucky Guy" by David Choi

It’s been so long since I’ve met someone
That makes me feel this way
Makes me smile, and that’s hard to do
I don’t think it’s something you realize you do

You make me feel
Like I’m the only guy
With you in the world

But we can’t be together
Can’t really be friends
We can’t be lovers
And we can’t pretend
Oh that boy in your life
Better make you his wife
And he better believe he’s a lucky guy

You wanted a song well here’s one for you
Nobody will know except for us two
Don’t ask me about it
Cuz I won’t tell the truth
Just know that there’s someone
Thinking of you

You make me feel
Something I wish wasn’t real at all

[Chorus]

You were never mine to begin with…

So we can’t be together
Can’t really be friends
We can’t be lovers
And we can’t pretend
Oh that boy in your life
Better make you his wife
And he better believe he’s a lucky guy

~~~~
This was a song which was the ending song for the Unfold 2.
I don't know why, I 'm just falling to this song.

"But we can’t be together
Can’t really be friends
We can’t be lovers
And we can’t pretend
Oh that boy in your life
Better make you his wife
And he better believe he’s a lucky guy"

This was the part of the lyrics that I love the most. :)
Sometimes, love with a distance...
really need a lot of courage.

I don't know why am I watching the Unfold part 2 for the second time..
But just felt sad in the sense that why can't they be together.
Why the guy have to just walk off when the girl said "can we do this again"?
I don't get it. Isn't it both of you still in love with each other???
What made you step back when the girl said "yes"?
Though, at last the guy do really made his way for chasing back the girl again.
It should be consider a happy ending? *laugh*

Life...unpredictable.
Love..unpredictable as well, though it really need to be work out by both parties not one. :)

I don't know what will happen to us in the future.
I do enjoyed the moment when I was with you.
I do love the moment when you are sitting beside me when in the cinema.
I do love the feeling that you put your head on my shoulder.
I love the way when you asked me "are you cold?" and hand me your hoody to me and used it to cover me without waiting for me to say "yes". Honestly, I'm touched.
I remembered once before, I told you to beware...because Billy the crocodile might eat you up and you said "I don't care because I only live once".
*laugh* I'm super happy actually. Thank you for saying that. yea~ that's my life...I 'm really someone who really scared for being hurt. Sorry~
I don't know....When I was with you...I'm just like a kid. I felt like out of the box and wish to tell you everything that made me miserable, anything that made my day gloomy.

But...I was scared and started to step back. I don't feel like "me" anymore.

I don't know what are you thinking?
and I don't know what all that means to you even though everything that you have done, it do means a lot to me.
You might be thinking that was just some actions to flirt around?
It is just a small case?
or a challenge? 
I don't know...or worst...I am just a spare tire.
A spare which can entertain you. A crown which can make you happy or accompany when you are boring.
I don't know~ am I doing the right thing.

What is our status for currently?
A friend?
Best friend?
Good mate?
Couple?
Or nothing at all....

Foolish! I'm an idiot! Watashi wa bakayaro desu.
Hontoni bakayaro desu.
Why am I caring so much, why am I feeling something which not suppose to be...
What is inside you little brain??
Who am I? What am I?
I'm sad.... :(

#I don't want

I had a really....night mare??
For me it is a night mare.
In that dream..
I saw the "me".
The "me" who is rebellious as when I was, during my secondary school.
Really rebellious and nasty.

and in that dream...
I quarreled with my grandmother.
Fight with my youngest brother even my eldest sister.
I do fight and quarreled with my Mumi as well....
Night mare~

because of what am I...
My Mumi give hope on me and doesn't want me any more...
Everyone give hope on me...
They don't want me anymore... :'(
Eventually...I'm not pretty sure whether am I screaming for the whole night but I hope I didn't.
Around 3 o'clock. I woke up from the dream with wet eyes.
I cried. :(
and I saw his message....I told him that I had a bad dream.
Honestly, if he reply me that time...I will really ask a hug from him.
Unfortunately,  he didn't until 7 something in the morning.

I cried until I fell asleep...I guess around 4 something cause I remembered I cried for quite a long time...and my eyes for today was like...golden fish--->swollen. *laugh*

Everyone can boycott me, can leave me, don't want me...but not my family....
please don't give hope on me.... :(
I don't want...
I don't want...
Don't leave me alone.... :(

#strength to be over come

This was my first time feeling so stress in my study.
yea~ I'm looking at the books...
yea~ I'm stuying
yea~ I'm reading it
yea~ I'm doing my revision

BUT!! Why...Why am I so stupid....
I don't understand what am I reading...
My brain was totally blank!!
and...my eyes is wet~
I'm pouring....
eventually...I'm crying...
This was really my first time.
Even though, during STPM examination.
I don't feel that way....

I don't want to resit that paper.
I don't want to fail that paper.

God, Lord, Father..please give the strength to over come it.
Thank you...Amithaba, Amen..

#turning point??

Sometimes, for me....
even though is a message which might be some artificial talk....but I still felt happy about it.
and so sweet deep inside my heart. *laugh*
I wonder will you having the same feeling as me? O.o

In my opinion, hmmm~ I guess it should be a no to you?
Somehow, you are someone who really...I don't know which word best suit you but I guess you won't feel the same feeling as I felt.
For you, I guess it is a no big deal right...because I think you been so experience that telling others girls who you wanted to flirt. *I guess so* For you, you tell me that I'm special, honestly...are you telling any others girls about this as well? I bet you are.
I really don't know much about you..
Each time, every single moment, I wanted to go near you, I'm having an invisible fear in me.
I don't know.
We are doing something which seem like should be a couple but indeed we are not a couple or a lover.
I don't know what is inside your mind, what you think about us, what you think about me.
For you...who is me?? Where is me?? What is me?? How is me??
Questions bound out which I don't know how to answer myself.
You said you care...but..I don't feel it. I don't feel it that you care.

I'm just a normal people, a lay man.
Don't do something that you think that I will understand about it...
I might don't go for it..
Because I need something more specific...something more confirm...
I need something direct...not a guess or what ever.
Don't made me guess, I might think something else.

My world is really simple~
Yes definitely is a yes..
No definitely is a no.. :)

#about me

"Heart And Mind" by Kina Grannis

I write you letters from right to left
See if you have desire yet
To decipher what I said
And learn secrets from my head

And it was hard for me to say
Those three words that are so brave
Almost kept them locked away
Deep inside where they'd be safe

[Chorus:]
Always trying to find
A safer place to hide
Always felt I was protecting my heart and mind
Heart and mind
But it seems like to really feel like
I cannot hide
My heart and mind

And I don't know why I get shy
Tucked away inside my mind
Scared to let someone inside
I sit silent in disguise

[Chorus]

Day I found a strength inside
Just by finally realizing
Is it truth that is inside
That I really cannot hide

My heart and mind
I always felt I was protecting my heart and mind
Heart and mind
But it seems like to really feel like
I cannot hide
My heart and mind
I cannot hide
My heart and mind

~~~~~
A song which reflected something about me...
My heart and my mind...
Eventually, I am those who always trying to find a safer place to hide because I am trying to protect my heart and mind.
Those who really know about me...like Darren and Cow...
Eventually, until now they are someone who really know how am I actually.
Hiding is my best shield...
Hiding is my best wall...
Hiding is my best cure...
I don't need sympathy or empathy..
Once before, there is a guy which was my secondary friend told me that I'm different from others girls.
For him, I'm someone who strong in physically and mentally.
*laugh* Eventually, yea~ this is what I want peoples to think of.
I 'm happy anyway...but sad that you really don't know me well..
4 years old.
7 years old.
9 years old.
12 years old.
14 years old.
15 years old.
17 years old.
until now....
20 years old.
*ironically laugh*
Each year, I am having a UNFORGETTABLE story which even worst behind me~
What made me that susceed infront of peoples as what you guys think of...
What made me to stay strong...
What force me to stay strong...
My stories, my life, my heart, my mind...
What do you know? You don't know anything and I don't wish to let anyone know as well.
That's what i said~ My growth is a silent, is a secret~
Because I don't trust...
I choose to hide....
I choose to build walls...
I'm a porcupine.
I'm someone who really like to think a lot....
A lots of peoples think that I'm really a mature fella...
I don't know, it might be because I really think a lot...
Different people different opinions...
Some people think that I'm charm
I'm cheerful
I'm sweet
I'm kiddo
I'm mature
*laugh*
yea~ really a lot of opinions about me..
Eventually, you guys really know nothing about me. *laugh*

#my Time

What is happening actually???
Today we went for nasi lemak...obviously with the same gang~
However, when we were there, I noticed that...there was only one chair~ which means they did not know that I'm going with him and their face expression do really tell me a lot about how they feel.
So yea~ kind of awkward...and I know what actually Alan thinking....
The way he spoke with me on the Facebook....kind of feeling loosing him as someone who can talk with.
I started to fear to speak something with him other than joking.
Am I doing something wrong or decision that I shouldn't?
I don't know...I really don't know...

and I felt so gloomy for my hole study week eventually I don't really study much but wasting time.
The most was on Wensy's case.
I don't really feel like putting a leg on it...since it's non of my business...
Why am I putting my leg inside...
Eventually, it is planned to call the so called fucking daddy to meet up with Wensy and talk about the baby. The worst part was, Esther straight away put my name in it and asked me to call him eventually I seem to be no right and no chance to say "NO".
What the hell~
I don't really feel like getting involve in it..Come on la~
Eventually you guys have the foundation of LAW but I'm not! I don't know anything about Law.
Don't waste my time please. Anything that I should help which above my limit, I have done my part. No extra hard work please, I 'm not the volunteer...I have my own life to go...I'm not either counselor or angel...What ever I should...I have go through and as promised...I had be that somebody.
So, please...just leave some time for me okay~
Please don't ask me out for the for goodness chit chat or what ever...I need to STUDY, ladies...
You guys are really great...you guys gain my mood and please leave the time for me as well...
Don't asked me to go for the so called study group or study guide or what ever which eventually I am there to waste my time in chit chat and seeing you guys dating...
DON'T WASTE MY TIME. =.=
Frankly speaking, you should know what's the consequence for being making love before marriage..so yea~ have a great day! I sick of it and tired.
You guys really made my day gloom eventually I don't know should I say no or buck up myself to help you.
AAAAAAAA~ what the hell~~~~
Great one~ =.=
Great job ladies~ I guess I should speak this infront of you guys eventually...
Why are you are the one who is pregnant??? OMG~ What am I doing??? My God!
Why should I cared about you guys feeling eventually mine should be the more important right?
I don't want~ I want mine to be more important.... :(
I don't give a shit la..... :( Why? WHy? WHY? Haiz..... :(

#a Song that means a lot

This is Christmas by New Heights

Verse 1
Snow is falling all around her, the lights are shining bright tonight
It's easy to think that she is glowing, but nothing's ever feeling right
Remembering the fire burning, the presents underneath the tree
She's feeling alone with no one coming, home this Christmas Eve

Chorus
This is the year that we're changing
This is the moment we've waited,
This is when we remember what we're made for
This is a time that we're hoping
Seasons coming and going
This is when we remember what we're made for

Verse 2
the Sun is breaking through the darkness, we see it in the bursting light
we're coming to see that hope is moving, and things are gonna be alright
if we could only find a reason to let a broken heart believe
that all the worst is overridden, so open your eyes to see

Chorus
This is the year that we're changing
This is the moment we've waited,
This is when we remember what we're made for
This is a time that we're hoping
Seasons coming and going
This is when we remember what we're made for

Bridge
There's a lot to think of, can be overwhelming
But this is where we come back to the start
Of all things created, it's extraordinary
Love

Chorus
This is the year that we're changing
This is the moment we've waited,
This is when we remember what we're made for
This is a time that we're hoping
Seasons coming and going
This is when we remember what we're made for

~~~~~
This was the song he sent to me after I told him about my memory which I'm trying my best to forget.
Which I'm trying my best to walk out from there.
I don't know~
I don't know what do it means to him by sending this song to me.
However, it means a lot to me.
I was thinking am I the "her" in that lyric.
Do you know that, I'm actually crying when I'm listening to this song.
A song which tell me...everything is going to be so fine and I won't be alone anymore...
I don't know~ I really don't know~
I been alone for so many years~ What am I actually expecting?
Someone who can protect me? *ironically laugh*
Don't ever try to dream or think about that!
It won't happen on you!
Wake up idiot! There is still lots of things that waiting for you....
Don't ever try to forget your responsible.
Your responsible towards your family, your promise towards your parents and your promise towards yourself......hah~~~

*pat my heart* everything is going to be so fine...
Remember?? Happy is your key of life. Laugh like no bodies care is your POWER OF LIFE~
yea~ everything is going to be so fine.......

#miserable

Yesterday...Rise of the Guardian was my first movie only both of us.

Somehow...I don't know~ actually I knew that he had read my blog and he knew everything about the crush...and not only he knew about my blog as well as someone else..

Suddenly, I felt like insecure. Honestly, I don't hope everyone to know about my past, my feeling...

especially the crush! 

I need some space to phew out my feeling towards something instead of letting people know about it.

So, I decided to change the address of this blog.

Yea~

Honestly...I feel awkward sometimes...I don't know how to tell Z about that since Z is the one who asked me to beware of him. I just felt unpleasant about it. I felt miserable about it. 

I felt sorry towards Z...Honestly, I like being with Z who was really nice and friendly. A friend who really worth for to be with.

I still remember that day after dodge ball, Z asked me about that crush...actually that is the day~ Tim read my blog...I wanted to tell Z but don't know why, my tongue tied up and can't speak even one word but "fuck". Honestly~ I don't mean to lie but my mood on that day was really fuck up! I really don't know how to face it!  I really felt like an idiot! I felt like doing something so wrong.

I don't want him to know about the blog eventually I hope he know about the blog. I'm an idiot! Sucks man~

WHAT THE HELL I'M TRYING TO DO!

I even tell him about the thing that happen when I was only 3 to 4 years old which I had keep for myself for the pass 16 years, I don't even dare to tell my parents about it. I'm just trying to be my best and walk out form that unpleasant memory~ Eventually I told him about that. What am I doing?
*ironically smile* I guess he was laughing that time and think that I'm trying to create story and made him empathy on me! Or maybe think that I'm a crown who trying to entertain him. *ironically smile with tears*
This is why I choose to keep instead of telling anyone. I don't need empathy or sympathy. I don't need all of this~ I don't need it!
What am I doing? What am I doing?
What am I thinking?  *sob*

*pat my heart* everything going to be so fine~ indeed! *cross finger*
I will be alright!

#my Heart~

I'm feeling gloomy and emotional for nowadays~ Even my friends asked me why am I so emo.
I like Geetha's statement, she said guys are so troublesome and always made girls' life in a deep shit and ruin our mood. hahahaha...indeed!

Sometimes, I would like to ask God, what is love?
What it actually means? I felt miserable and always asked myself~ should I get involve into a relationship.
This is insane! My final is around the corner! Why am I thinking!

Somehow, I don't feel like he like me as well. I means it might be in term of friendship like not those lover type.
Honestly, he don't seem like my type but I don't know why am I having a crush on him!
I remembered we went to eat burger during a promotion day. I forgot to bring my student ID and he said he had an extra. So, I was like okay~ When we reached that place, the queue was long and a long the way, he was busy messaging. *ironically smile* and he said she was his pet sister and his extra student ID was a girl's ID card.
I was like:"yea~" I don't know~ Flirting around was your talent! I don't have the right to ask you not to do since that was your lifestyle! I'm just felt that I'm stupid! I'm an idiot! Why am I care about so much when you don't even care about it. I felt that I'm just like a fool~ a crown!

I have a friend, let's called it Z, who asked me to beware of him because I still don't know his real personality. Both of his ex-girlfriends also mention about insecure. Yea~ I knew about that. I might don't know the real personality of you but this was a truth that I'm having a crush on you.
I 'm such a fool!
Form 2, Form 5. Form 6...*ironically smile* I had crushed with 3 peoples before you, but....I'm a coward! I don't even dare to move the first step!
Might be because, too many stuff that needed me to consider about.
I have to consider about my parents who do not agree and do not allow me to have a relationship with a guy.
I have to consider about the guy's feeling which he have to suffer with me. For him, I felt that it is unfair. He don't have to.
Yea~ it might be some lame excuses that I'm giving....hah~ I 'm a coward!
I told you that my heart is strong enough to handle everything..but in fact! I'm not! I'm just an ordinary girl like others. I just a girl who don't like to cry in front of peoples. I'm just a girl who like keep secret, feeling... to myself. I'm just a girl who is not special at all.....
Yea~ *pat my heart* everything going to be so fine!
Yea~ everything is going to be so fine! Smile and laugh like no bodies care!

Thank you Diary~ thank you for being my garbage bin for the pass few years~

#Thank you

First and foremost, I really wanted to thanks Alan for making that video out. Honestly, it was lovely and cute :)
Somehow, screwed the laptop. My voice in that video was suck~ I really can't believe it! My God~ That was so and so and so and so irritating and annoying! *laugh* For me it was really an unacceptable. LOL
But somehow, I thank God that I am one of them in the video, I thank God that both of you are my friends.
May be, I will that blur, lots of thing that I don't know or may be something I shouldn't know but I know? haha, coincident always happen :) *laugh*

Beside the lovely and cute elements, for me....it was a motivation video.
It made me realized that, once the time is passed...it won't come back anymore.
Just like, when we are babies, and soon we studied in the primary school and sooner we are an adult.
We can't just say to God that: " God, I don't like my life, I don't wan to grow up, I don't want this and don't want that..." and God will like press one button, "pop" we back to the pass. LOL. This is impossible! *laugh* stop dreaming! haha
Accept it or not, that's the reality of life. There is no back way~ That's why, we should always look in front instead of looking behind.

Along the journey, along the growing process, we used to lose something but in return we gain something. We gained love, we gained experiences, we gained lessons, we even gained happiness nor sadness.
We started to learn what the hell is "no pain no gain".
Everyday, every minute, every second, every moment.....We are growing.
Life no take two, that's why I choose to laugh like no bodies care. I might get into trouble and sad even tears...but laugh and smile was the only way that make me stronger.
Happiness is my key of success, laugh like no bodies care is my key of life.
Laugh is my power! and I GOT THE POWER! What about you??
Happy ever after! God bless everyone XD

#my Piano

I don't why~ I 'm dropped into this kind of situation. I really hate that feeling.
I was like a stupid dumb ass repeating all those stupid things again.
I m an idiot!
I need piano~
The only way that I can really expressed myself~

#the Birthday party

Today was Timothy's 21st birthday, some how~ I don't know how to express that...it was like yea~ a great beginning for another 10 years and as well as mine.
I am turning into 21st soon~ I don't really like it, but..this is life~
Sometimes, I will ask God : Why are you creating years to make human suffer?
Yea~ I didn't manage to get any feed back~ Somehow, I am always aware that life no take two, be happy and don't worry. Rock my life when ever it is, that's why...I will try everything as long I am still alive and healthy~
Skating, bungee jump, car racing, games, dodge ball, and now I am thinking of ridding on a F1 motorcycle may be Kawasaki as well. I don't know, i just wish to do some activities which guys can do, and I believe I can do as well. Although it is dangerous and I would fear of it, but as long as I can, I am willing to give a try.
I don't hope that I will regret in someday if I don't enjoy to the max~
It's same thing goes to my study~ You won't believe the story behind, as well as I.
That's one fine day, my youngest aunty came to PJ, she asked me...do you really like Law? And is that the road, the journey, the track that you wish to. I don't know~ I tell her I don't know~
I don't know why I choose Law, but one thing for sure~ I am controlling my life...no matter how hard was it, how suffer was it, how terrible was it, how much tears of it, I am controlling it instead of being a puppet~
I don't know, I know sometimes daddy and mumi were not trying to control it but giving advise. Everything that they do is the best, every arrangement, every moment, every minute, we are their life. I am not trying to blame anything, but...my life, my future, I only hope that I can participate along.
I love you daddy and Mumi, I really do. Thank you for everything ..although it is an accident, thank you for protecting me. Thank you, I really do means it. I LOVE YOU :)

It's just like how Tim love his family. Honestly, kind of envy towards him, because we don't really have a lots family photo, and..I don't know why, I love the way he hug his mother..kind of cute and lovely.
Yea, family photo...I realized that, Tim did really has a lot of family photo and individual photo. The best part was each of them having their own photo album including the year he and his brothers born. That's lovely, a family which full of love.
I still remember, when I was young I was that mischievous and rebellious. Kind of irritating and annoying fella. I was not good that time and I even came to a situation that starting to hate everyone, blaming everyone. I guess I am really a headache to my family when I was young. It's so sad~ I don't even speak to them, because I persisted that no one knows me even my mother...I was so scared and not dare to tell her anything. I don't know why, so... I used to keep things, secret, and bury it into the deep bottom of my heart and in conjunction with this, I growth with silent. Keeping secret turned to become my habit. I don't speak not even to my best friend or family member, piano~ is my best release.
Life no take two, from the moment we born until now, every single moment is a memory.
My memories when I was young is a silent, is a secret.
From a baby and grow and getting taller even getting fatter, haha..who knows what will happen during the growth but... no matter is a good memory or a bad memory, it is a gift from the God.
I still remember Tim's aunty, Aunty Kun..she asked his mother how did Tim born, and the cutest part was the process. They did mention about how Tim's mumi was brought to the hospital...something like that.
Yea~
A good memory, allowed us to flash back with a wide smile.
A bad memory, allowed us to remember our mistake and help us growth.

I don't know, how is KL peoples looks like...what's colour of their heart, what's colour of their character, what's colour of their lifestyle.. compare with mine, may be really a big gap..
As I know I don't drink, but they do.
I don't clubbing, but they do.
I don't smoke and I don't like people smoke as well because I hate that smell but they do..just like during the dinner, go washroom together and smoke together. That's cute.

Our lifestyle were really a big gap but I guess the only thing that won't change is...LOVE.
Everyone need love, no matter, whether are you a baby, a teenager, an adult, or an old folk. Everyone need love as well as I. We need love, a love which hand up from the bottom of our heart.
A truly love.

I Don't Know

Why am I making myself into troubles again which I knew how to built my own case and protect myself.
Why am I always be like that~ can't you be mature a bit!
What am I waiting for? Hope?
*laugh*

the Night I lost!

OMG~
I don't know whether today was my lucky day or a bad luck day.
Guess what~ Peoples used to get lost in the jungle and I am getting lost in the city~
Oh man! This really FREAK ME OUT~

After the Dodge ball practice, we went for our dinner at don't know which part of KL.
Then, after the dinner, I ask Peter about the road back to Section 17. Peter showed me the way until Tropicana Mall which where he stay.
So, I was at the Tropicana Mall. Peter taught me how to go back to Section 17 which you know I used to be "one way ticket". So, he asked me to make a U-turn which I forgot is after the fountain or before the fountain.
After that, I do made a U-turn.
However, I made a wrong U-turn which I found out it was a ONE WAY road after my U-turn.
I was like " SHIT! It was a one way road". So, I made a U-turn again. Guess what! I was wrong again. I am at the car park of the Tropicana Mall, and I was " SHIT! It is a one way road!". Then, I made an illegal U-turn.
I was happy, because I am out of the Tropicana Mall.
But, freaking moment started once I am out of the Tropicana Mall.
This time I was like, " SHIT! Where am I?" I was like " SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! Actually, where am I!"
This was the first time that I felt the direction plates that set up by the government was useful!
and...this was the first time that I felt unsafe when my GPS is not with me.
It was like...I am loosing my direction which I was worried that I need to sleep at the road side until the next morning. I even thought of calling the POLICE to bring me back to Section 17! *laugh*
Then, I was like "COOL DOWN SHERYI, chill, you will find a way back home, don't worry~"
Suddenly, I was like "SHITTTTTTTTT~ I am running out of petrol!" Oh man! Not this time!
This was the worst thing ever!
At least I am not that worry that I am lost, but I am totally freak out that my car will stop at the middle of the highway! Is highway, not any others road! Gosh~
I was like keep on staring at my petrol meter and the distance meter which I hope I manage to find my way out before my car run out of petrol!
MY GOD~
This was insane~ I was like " Yeah~ when Papa bring you to KL, instead of recognizing the road but you are SLEEPING in the car!!!!"
This is so so so so "great"~
After sometime, which I slow down the car and force myself to look at the direction plate.  I was like " SHIT MAN~ I left my spectacles in the hostel. This is so GREAT!" I can't see clearly when it is night.
Oh man~
After some time hanging around at the place that I don't know, I finally found Jaya One~
Thank God! I almost reach my hostel.
At last, I ended my SHIT journey ~ *laugh*
Thank God~ That I'm safe and still alive! XD

我的二十歲的生日 #my 20th Birthday

时间过得真快~
过了今天，我即将正式升为20岁人了~

我的生日过得像平常一样，蛋糕也不算是我的蛋糕，祝福嘛~也很少。
就像以前一样，没有变。
就像以前一样，很少人会记得我的生日。
除了家里人以外，朋友的话。。。正式记得的，只有两个。哈哈。
算了吧~ 习惯就好。

我生日的第一个愿望就是希望我的家里人，我爱的人都能够平平安安，身体健康，心想事成。
第二个愿望，我希望我一切顺利，学业猛进，心想事成。
第三个愿望，我希望这世界上，不管人或是动植物，都能够和睦相处，大家都能够平平安安，没有战争，没有残酷，世界和平。

在生日的前一天，家里忽然来了一只流浪猫。眼看，这只流浪猫，不是非一般的猫，它的尾巴很漂亮，给我的感觉就是，它被它的主人抛弃了。
它可能因为患病而被主人抛弃了。很坏的主人哦~
如果你要养，就请你为它们负责，不然请你不要养它们。
尤其是一些名狗或是名猫，请你们更要好好对待他们，因为你要知道，一旦你抛弃它们，它们很难生存的。因为它们从未独立过，它们习惯住好，睡好，吃好，它们不会为自己寻找吃的，更不大会照顾自己，它们不是非一般的流浪猫流浪狗。即使是流浪猫流浪狗，一旦你们饲养它们，请你们好好爱护它们，它们的生命也一样像人类的生命一样珍贵。
不要看不起它们的小生命。爱惜它们吧~人类。
如果，我家里有能力的话，能够的话，我一定会收养它，但是真的很抱歉~我帮不了你什么，我能够提供的就只有那一片面包，还有请求神好好保佑你，好让你早日找到一位好主人。
你要加油~ 加油哦~

20歲了，加油哦~生日快樂！ 我們一起加油吧，小貓貓。

夏日乐悠悠 #love You You

今天，不知道为什么，很放肆的让自己看了一套 MOVIE。MOVIE 名叫夏日乐悠悠。
一套只剩下30%听觉的女生的爱情故事。
而且我与这套戏好像蛮有缘，他们的这套戏也是9月30日上映的，和我的生日。。一模一样呢~

话说回来，说真的。。女主角虽然在戏剧中有些假，但是具体来说，故事类容还蛮不错。
但是，现实会是如此吗？有情人真的可以终成眷属吗？
潘多拉的盒子真的可以打开吗？
戏中印象最深刻的，是夏米的前男友，他说他并不介意夏米携带助听器，但是他妈妈却很介意。
说真的，都是借口，当一个人真真爱上一个人时，他需要的就是包容对方，而且是不管任何情况下选着保护她。
但是很显然他爱她并不够深，甚至需要摆上妈妈的名号作为分手的理由。

在我与一位要好的朋友交谈当中，我们不知道为什么会谈到歌曲，然后他就 LIST 出他有在聆听的歌曲，其中包括郁可唯的【好朋友就只有朋友】。
你知道吗，它就是那首让我放手的力量。
我曾经以婉转的方式对他说我的心意，但是我不知道。。他是明白还是不明白，或者装傻。
但是，都无所谓。。因为。。
当你回答的那瞬间，你问我是不是在开玩笑。。说真的，那瞬间，我有些难过。。因为，我希望的答案，并不是问我到底是不是在开玩笑。
你开口的那瞬间，我的勇气消失了，我选择退缩了，便承认我在开玩笑。
这件事，我曾经写把它命名为潘多拉的盒子。但是，我想把它，想把这件事，往心里的最深处给埋了，发泄后。。我就把它给删掉了。
我不曾告诉任何人，那个他到底是谁，我也不想说。因为我觉得自己很傻，我曾经问我自己，那个感觉是真的吗？还是是自己的幻想。说真的，我真的不知道。
因为，我这个人太会幻想了~

然后那位朋友，问我：你幸福吗？
说真的，幸福这个字眼，太广了~
对我来说，幸福并不只有爱情才能给予的。
幸福，可以来之很多方面。
就比如，很丰盛的一餐，与家人一起，等等。。
很简单，很简单的事物，都能让一个人幸福快乐。
幸福快乐的字眼，其实就介于你怎么去看一件事。
可能，我说的你会不明白，但是很多东西是需要自己去体验的。
就像，我很幸福也很幸运，有一位很严厉的妈妈。在别人的眼中，严厉的妈妈通常都会培养出一个很叛逆的孩子，这都是我的高中6的朋友的想法。但是他们说，我却很例外，我不叛逆，甚至很听话。
说真的，妈妈的严厉还让我感恩呢~要不是妈妈坚持随我们严厉，就不会有今天的我们。
今天有家教的我们。
如果当初的叛逆期，妈妈没有对我很严厉，老实说一句，我可能是一位很顽皮，很没有家教的家伙。叛逆期间，我常常埋怨妈妈，为什么不可以好像其他同学的妈妈一样，让我做自己想要做的东西？为什么不让我和朋友一起出街？为什么考试不及格还一直骂我们而不像其他妈妈一样给予鼓励安慰？我甚至曾经埋怨妈妈不疼我，不爱我，偏心。
但是，叛逆期间后，我发现妈妈是爱我们的，只是她用了另一种方式来爱我们。很感恩。
而我也很感恩有一位常常像小孩一样和我们一起闹的爸爸。
所以，不一定要拥有爱情的滋润，才叫做幸福。

#think Twice!

That's freaking insane, can you imagine..I am getting older and older. I wish to be 18 years old but I knew it! It is impossible! Freaking time! Hate it ><

Are you wondering what am I mentioning? haha. That's my birthday is around the corner, and it is special~ because my birthday fall on the exact day of Moon Cake Festival. That's was awesome! Isn't it? 

Normally it won't fall on the exact day, but it's does for this year. Freaking happy! haha

I am such a lucky girl~ 

Somehow, I wish God will protect Shan Long although I am not that closed to him.

He is in a depressed condition which planned to commit suicide, I guessed~

Things do happen is always come with a reason. 

I really didn't know how to express my feeling, it is just freaking. He posted some message regards ending his life. That was insane, which I really can't find something which is more suitable to describe it.
However, it is stupid, idiot, double idiot, and so for ending your own life with the reason of can't handle and can't take it any more. It is! 

Life is precious~ I know, some of them really do need to cross over a lot of difficulties, but stay strong, God is always with you, you are not alone. God do so is just because He is testing you and He do believe you are chosen and will be the strongest amongst everyone. I believed anything He done, there will be a reason and answer behind it. Don't be sad, be happy. 

In my knowledge, his family's condition is complicated. He quite a pity little young man. 

This was what happen, his parents was divorced and both party was remarried. So, he felt that he no longer be appreciated and he is lacking of love from his parent since his daddy and mummy were having more children other than him. He been looks like an outsider by others when ever he stayed with either side of his so called family.  

This is sad and I am not trying to criticize anyone. The most important thing was I am not trying being offensive to any party.

In my opinion, family is the core of a child. No matter how strong were the children are, they need love.

A happy family born a happy child. 

I don't really understand, if you think that he or she is not your only one, not your only love, or may be not worthy for you to spend your whole life with he or she, why are you proposing or saying I do? 

In a family, there should be a daddy and a mummy. Lacking any part of it, we don't call it family.

Once both party agreed and said I do, on that moment..forming happiness in your family is your responsible.

If you are not confident enough for forming your own family with your spouse, don't get marry, if you do..don't born babies and just remember to wear condom or anything which can avoid for giving birth. don't ruined your children's life as well as yours.

They are innocent and they don't owe any responsible on your mistake.

If you think that they are part of the family, and they do owe a duty on your mistake, I will tell..you fucking people! Please wake up! I don't means to be rude but don't you remember that you are the one who wish to have sex with each other without thinking the damn consequence. It even happen before you guys marry and you are the one who wanted the happiness and enjoyment and now you tell me that the baby that you made, owe a duty on your mistake because if wasn't him or her, you will be happy ever after and you won' have to carry such a big burden.

I will tell you, if you think so..you are sucks! 

This is why nowadays the percentage of the criminal cases are increasing. Somehow, part of the criminal came from a broken family. 

Please, don't ruined your children life, save them, teach them and love them.

BE A RESPONSIBLE PARENT! Think twice before you do anything.

And God, please protect him and help him. Thank you.

#Janji ditepati?

Today was bored! I hated the so called "Janji Ditepati" seminar which cost me nothing and well, I don't get anything from there either!

I know I am the one who put up the hand and voluntary myself as a volunteer, I thought of entering to the room and have a pleasant day of volunteer end up escorting peoples at the cafeteria.

It was hot and I am sweating like hell.

No man, this was not right and it's screwed things up. I thought of listening to the what ever Dato Nasri's speech which taking about some "Janji Ditetapi" stuff and end up zero by the time I went into the room. It was having Q&A session, and I planned to ask things about Lynas. That's a waste and I lost the opportunity! 

If it is possible, I will surely asked for my compensation. *laugh*

[Somehow, dude..You are willing to do so, no complaining. Keep it!] *laugh*

Okay~ Forget man, I will just keep my mouth shut!

However, I did gain something for today, that is some new friends and seniors! 

I am a talkative person and I really love to chat and the chat with the senior who was same group with me was awesome. He is friendly and kind, he even offer to fetch us home, but sorry and thanks for the kindness.

Actually, we are not walking back to our hostel, it is just an excuse so that we can go back home earlier.
I apologized for the lie, actually...I used to drive to school. Sorry.

Somehow, I think the "Janji Ditepati" talks was a bullshit stuff.

I don't hear any good answer during the Q&A session. He was just talking crap and not giving the exact things which I hoped.

Am I talking craps? *laugh*

Good night peoples!

愛情階梯 #the Ladder of Love

愛情，原來是可以不分年齡。

當真愛降臨，即使十年的差距，原來就只是欠那一步。

那一步，雙方一起說願意的那一步。

他們的愛情，沒有榮華富貴。

他們的愛情，沒有高床暖枕。

他們的愛情，卻只有6000多的階梯。

但是他們得到的愛情卻遠比6000多的階梯來的多，來的豐富，來的幸福。

因為他們都相信無論年齡的差距即使想一座山的高度，即使是絕路，即使是隔絕塵俗，但是他們都不管，因為他們都只有一個念頭就是“只想要跟你終老”。 他們都希望用一輩子的時間，一起來跨出那地圖，並且不需任何好報，但都只想對方好。

他們的愛情天梯，真的值得傳承下去。

因為，真的。。

有幾多對，能夠持續愛到幾多歲？

當生命，仍能為你豁出去時 ，就像千夫所指裡，誰會理登不登對？ 但是仍挽手歷盡在世間興衰。

有幾多對，能悟到幾多精髓？ 能撐下去，即使竭力也要為愛盡瘁。 抱緊對方一生未覺累，就只希望能共對方沿途來爬天梯，不用又忌諱，甚至中傷流言都全被悍衛。 留住對方，即使年齡相差十年，旁人又能如何？

因為他們雙方都認為話過不可一世，所以他們都選著了對方。 即使前方仍然大霧，到懸崖或海邊也許永不知道。

即使前面不知道有幾高，或者是一片荒土 ，但是他們能然選著相擁到白頭，一起偕老。 即使每步隨著攀登叫雙手都粗糙，男生甚至從崎嶇這路途，為女生而開墾就是希望女生可走得更好。 即使他們的家園只是泥牆且簡陋，但是我都認為，雙方能夠握著手，包圍他們家園的並不是泥牆而是幸福，簡單的幸福。

一個雙方能夠牽著走，心中懷著勇氣至愛得永久的幸福快樂。 我認為，他們臉上的皺紋就是他們的見證，他們的回憶就是他們的笑容，他們的快樂就是他們的幸福。即使生活簡陋，但是每當他們的回頭，都讓他們覺得，是值得的，是真確的，並且謝謝對方當初的選擇。

心情 #my Day

没有星星的天空，一片黑漆漆的，真的好寂寞。

这是我望上天空的第一感触。

不知道是因为歌词的关系，每一次听着 华语歌时都会很有感触。

真的很奇怪，不知道是不是因为我比较熟悉华语，所以往往会找到一些在英文歌找不到的感觉。

在大学这段时间，快要进入第三个星期了，时间过得真的很快，转眼间9月快要过去了，我也快要踏进20岁的世界了。

但是，在大学期间，我遇见的，听见的，我都会不敢去问，更不想去说。

因为时间太少了，还来不及去了解每个人。我还不知道，他们会是怎么样得人，所以还是不闻不问最可靠了。哈哈~

所以嘛~还是中学最最最最棒了！

但是，放心吧~我所谓遇见的，听见的都是琐碎事情，是生活上的事情，而不是我的功课上的问题。

真的很想念以前的生活~ 每个人都是傻傻分不清楚。

就好像我，活了20年，连 LITTLE BOB DOG 和 SNOOPY 都傻傻分不清楚。

我一直都以为我一直很爱画的 LITTLE BOB DOG 就是 SNOOPY。 哈哈~

直到，我找回当初妈妈送我的 LITTLE BOB DOG PENCIL BAG，才知道原来那可爱的小东东叫 LITTLE BOB DOG。 O(∩_∩)O哈哈~ 其实，我是知道它不叫 SNOOPY，我也曾经尝试在网上找寻它的影子，但是就是没结果，自然而然就称它为 SNOOPY。

我还记得在我一年级的时候，画画老师要教我们做面具，她要求我们每个同学回去找一个自己喜欢的画像，然后在学校和大家一同画出来。

不知道为么，在“人海”之中，我看上了它。

我还因为画了出来后，嫌它的脸白白的，便在它脸上的周边涂上浅浅的黄色，好让它漂亮些。

就这样，一画便画了10多年了~

我从那一年开始就很喜欢 LITTLE BOB DOG 了。 可能没有什么人会注意它的存在，但是我就是喜欢它。

就像我喜欢 LITTLE BOB DOG 的习惯，应该也没什么人会知道吧~

为什么会这么说呢？ 因为每当我画 LITTLE BOB DOG 时，朋友都会问我这是什么。

显然，很少人知道，甚至不知道。O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

他们只知道 HELLO KITTY，并说 HELLO KITTY 很可爱。

就连那年画的面具，多半的人都是画 HELLO KITTY。

说真的，我并不觉得 HELLO KITTY is cute.

反而，BOB DOG 比她可爱多了。

我不会说很讨厌 HELLO KITTY 但是就是不喜欢她。

就因为 HELLO KITTY 很出名，大人都会认为是女生的，都会喜欢。

EXCUSES ME~ I DON'T LIKE HELLO KITTY.

不是每个女生，都喜欢。

你可以说我很是个怪咖，不是女生，永远喜欢一些女生不会喜欢的东西，BUT! THIS IS ME! 

我就是喜欢 BOB DOG, 我就是喜欢玩 RACING CARS, 我就是喜欢 ADVENTUROUS ACTIVITIES。 我虽然有。。。。一丁点的畏高，但是我就是想要玩 BUNGEE JUMP。 

我就是喜欢尝试，IT IS ALWAYS NOT A WRONG TO TRY。或许某些活动我会怕，但是我愿意，因为我认为男生可以的，女生都是可以的。

我真的不想我的生活就因为不敢，不想，就因为想要掩饰，而放弃尝试，而且还让这些烂理由挡住我的去路。我绝不容许。

这就是我！

YOU ACCEPT IT OR NOT~ XD

#Dodge ball was awesome!

It is an awesome day although it is tiring.

Today was my first day to attend the Dodge ball's practice from 5.30pm till supposing is 8pm, but the girls' team going to have a tournament on this coming Saturday. So, I called it as a training for the girls' team. 

So...Girls, I will pray for you guys and all the best in you game, may God bless everyone who are joining the tournament although I am the newbie but really pray hard for everyone. Gambetteh nei!

In my opinion, Dodge ball was really an awesome game or may be sport. May be some of you will asked, "What was that?" *laugh*

Honestly, when I first saw this game on the list of game or sport, I am stunned. Since it is not a well known game and I did asked my dad before, but my eldest brother is the one who are answering me. *laugh*
He said it is some kind of game which like throwing ball. I am curious, so..this was why God created Google which was one of the phrase that Mr Raj always like to say. *laugh*

I Google Dodge ball.
However, I don't feel interesting on it after I Google it and I did planned to join basketball club.

But, when I started to think twice, I prefer Dodge ball rather than Basketball since it was a game that I didn't play before. That's is always no harm for trying. 

So, I messaged John, the president of Dodge ball Club and went for the practice.

When I was there, John taught me the basic technique .

It was pretty fun for the beginning since that was my first time. 

First stage, I have to learn how to throw the ball really hard toward the wall until the "bang bang" sound is produced. While practising, I can hear those "bang bang" sound which produced by seniors. It's was hard. I am envy since my hitting was weak~ *laugh* And John correct my technique of playing, and it's really work~ Thank God! Lastly, I can hear that "bang bang" sound and guess what! I passed the first stage.

Second, is the catch ball technique! I have to learn how to catch the throwing ball which throw by the "opposition". *laugh*

Unfortunately, I don't know  it is so called sprain since I didn't see any swollen. But, my last finger was slightly pain while I try to move it. This was John fault for throwing the ball so hard while I am practising my catch ball technique. *Laugh*
Cheh~ I am bad! Don't ever try to blame people when your technique of playing is terrible. *laugh*
Sorry John, my bad! I keep back my word. *laugh*

Third, is...Third??? I don't think they is a third for the basic. *laugh* Seriously, I don't remembered and I don't think there is a third for the basic. *laugh*

Lastly, John handle me to Jesyca, the girls' team captain and I stated my practice with the girls!

It was exhausted, but is was really cool and awesome.

A game which good for releasing tension. Finally, I found one! *laugh*

You should go and try it when opportunity come. 

#Jokes?

OMG, today got screwed up by Mr Raj, my Law of Tort's lecturer.
In the sense that I am wrong, cause I didn't hand up my case book and I am working on it which have to hand up to him by tomorrow. LOL
36 cases in one day time, can I manage to finish it? Gosh~
I can!!!! Malaysia Boleh~Saya Boleh! *laugh* O.O When optimistic bound into me? What to do~ I am that optimism. LOL

Except that, today I was kinda impressive, may be this kind of  "impressive" towards a girl who was my classmate and she said that photocopy was an unethical act. Lol.
Actually, it's make sense, I knew that photocopy is illegal, and it's crossing over peoples copyright just like pirate CD,but who really cares! As long as I can save my purse and especially my parent's purse, who cares that is an illegal act or not, I am totally fine with it.
But this wasn't something that I wanted to express, actually I was stunned for the moment that she mention about unethical act. It was awful. Can you imagine that when everyone is discussing about books with a happy mood and accompany by a lovely morning and you bound out such a word!?!? Nani~ What's wrong with photocopy's books, "they" offended you? LOL
This was what happen, when A asked B did you manage to get your copy, and B said:" I can't, even if I made an order, I still have to wait for a month."
A said:" You can either get second hand books from the seniors or maybe borrow it from the library and make a photocopy of it plus it's much more cheaper."
and B bound out:" oh I don't want to that, that is so unethical as what the lecturer said."
*deng deng* Most of us were in a silent mode. Speechless.
Honestly, I really don' know is it so called honest, but...I think..that was rude.
For me, I wouldn't say so although I think that was an unethical act. Instead of it, I will just said thank you or "oh ya, I will consider about that" rather than bound out wording which hurt people's feeling. That was an unethical act as well.
I know, may be you are rich enough and you are affordable to something extra, but what about others people.
I don't know, I really don't know. Sometimes, that is something that you should be honest, but that is something you shouldn't. It's kinda hurt, pity that Miss A.
She is just trying to advise and speak out her opinions, can't you just entertainment for a moment? LOL
Sorry, I just don't understand.

Honestly, if that happen to me even to someone that I knew, I will tell you sorry. I will speak with you but I won't be using the tune that I speak with my buddy. I will just entertain you politely.
I don't want myself getting garbage when I am trying to tell you something sincerely. LOL. No way man!
Between, who cares~
Being friends, it's just like happy come lucky go.
It you are happy with it, then we are friends, otherwise please leave me alone. LOL
This was just my opinion. No offence~

大学第三天 #the Third day of Uni's life

Today is my third day of uni's life.
Starting to use to the environment, and surprisingly lots of my classmates were younger than me. Most of them were born in the year of 1993. Gosh, I was bored in 1992. Isn't it sad, but luckily I am not the oldest. *laugh*

My timetable was not that hectic as the timetable when I was in high school.
It's just normal, and I will be sitting for 4 subject for this semester.
That is the Law of TORT, LEGAL Method, PUBLIC Law, and Law of CONTRACT.

Honestly, I am slightly blurred when lecturer taught in class. Luckily I met some of the pre-law student which is willing to teach me. Thanks a lot.
How great my life is~ and how lucky am I. I always meet someone who is willing to help me although not everyone is willing to when I approached to them, but as least there is someone. Praise to the God :) Thank you :)

Future is just unpredictable as what my dad told me. But it's true! It is unpredictable, who knows what is going to happen the next minute or second.
I don't really know is that a suitable for choosing Law as my future, but I guess I can survive. And, I will survive with brilliant colours. I can do it~

May be the beginning is tough, ton of books waiting for me, millions or maybe billions of pages waiting for me to read up, plus which made me headache the most was the IELTS. I must have the minimum QUALIFICATION of band 7 in order to continue my study in UK.
I do admit that I am not that good in my English. You can see it just through the blog which I written in English, you can see tons of grammar mistake happen in each of the paragraph. Gosh, just wish to bang myself to the wall. It is good if I have a walking dictionary which help me to spell and check for my grammar mistake. How great was it. Darren, I was thinking about you. *laugh*

我的開學日 #my Orientation day

Hey guys~ I'm back! Sheryi is in the house. yoyoyo~

Apparently, there were two monkey missed me when I didn't update my blog. *laugh*
Somehow, is kinda bored for the last 3 days of orientation at KDU, but don't worry, I do enjoy it. LOL

Honestly, living in KL is just like living in hell. If someone asked, what is so interesting about KL, only two words is the best describe, traffic jam. LOL
Traffic Jam in KL is just like the 7-eleven store, 24 hours non stop. Hell no~ my time is precious.

Let's start my 3 days live in KL.
For the first day, I was lucky to meet someone who saved me from getting summons from those "tigers". LOL
Firstly, I called my Papa and informed him that I have reached KDU. Papa asked about the car, where did I park my car? I told him that I parked near by the shop lot which is near to KDU. Then, he asked regard the parking fees. Gosh, since I didn't see any coin machine which usually it is in each of the car park as this is how the Seremban's car pack usually looks like. So, I tend to consider that was a free parking but my papa insisted me to ask anyone near by for a confirmation so that he do not need to pay for any summons which cause by me. *laugh*
So, I asked the senior and he advise me to move my car and pack it in the housing area since traffic police usually will be there around 12 o'clock.
My god, that means I have to walk back to that street. Tiring. Anyway, to avoid "tigers", that's the only way.
Somehow, instead of moving my car, I would like to paid for that parking fee.
I asked a aunt regard the packing fee, she said that I have to buy a packing ticket from the machine.
After thanking her for the guide, I walked to the machine as what she mention previously and when I was there, I saw a guy was paying for the ticket but lastly, he took back all his coin instead of taking out a ticket from the machine.
Aw, who cares, once he walked away, I moved in since I was in a rush for my orientation which start on 8 o'clock and I was stuck here when my watch shown 8 o'clock.
I was happy that I am standing in front of the machine instead of others.
OMG, yes, I was standing in front of the machine indeed! But it's seem to be complicated, no instruction on the machine, no clue, nothing at all, how shall I start my purchase? I was stunted for that moment.
Then, I asked the guy which before me. He is kind and I was guilty for ignoring him. He taught me about the steps, and he said:" If you are planning to park your car for the hole day, I would advise you to put 5 ringgit." Aw~ he is so sweet. haha. A big thanks~
At last,I have my ticket, but he is not because he less one 10 sen.  As I am having extra, I gave him mine. He thanks me. haha~ And I gave him a big smile with "is ok", then I walked away.
I rushed back to the campus, luckily it haven't start. It was hot after rushing from the car park, I was sweating. I hated sweating at this kind of situation.
After may be 5 to 10 minutes, I saw the guy which I met at the car park.
Aw, he is freshman too and his name is Jen Hoe. We talked for a moment and he is from PJ. I told him why I don't know how to use the machine because Seremban do not have that kind of machine. LOL
And we talked about movie, and he watched Polar Express at time square as what I do. He said, may be we met before. ahahahaha. May be~ haha

For the second day, at least I know how to purchase the ticket. Somehow, the machine was like fooling me. I tend to put RM5 into the machine but it return back all the coins and wrote "masa terhad". Gosh, I have to put in all the coins all over again. The second time was the same. I was impatient for that time. I scolded the machine quietly and went forward to another machine. It was just the same, both machines bully me. Hate it! At last, I'm only able to buy until 1.16 pm. So sad~
It's cause me to rush back to the car park during my lunch hour. I was with Sook Yin, my new friend which just met in the first day of the orientation. She was with me, and we have our lunch at the near by restaurant which near by the car park. And I met him, he was eating alone. So lonely~ I asked his permission for the seat, and he said yes. haha. Honestly, that time I don't remember his name until I got his hand phone number on the last day which means on the third day of Orientation and he don't remember mine as well. LOL. We introduced ourself once more. LOL.
After orientation, Sook Yin, Jen hoe and I walked back to the car park since our cars was there at a same place. I asked Sook Yin where she park her car and she said it is just 3 to 4 cars away from mine. And I asked Jen Hoe where was his car. Surprisingly, his car was just beside me. LOL. No wonder his expression was kinda hard to explain when I put my ticket into my car. He said that he was sleeping in the car while I parked my car. LOL.
After that, I went to SS2 Mall for a shopping, I bought 2 pairs of T-shirt in a very cheap price at F.O.S. and a loaf of bread with ham for my dinner.

The third day which is the last day of orientation. I have my time table which I am going to start my law journey next week and I met my classmates as well. It's kinda sad, cause it was only 10 or may be only 9 of us.

These 3 days, was my first to feel fear on silent. The house was too quiet. I really hate that kind of silent.
May be I am still not used to it.
Don't worry, be happy, I will surely adapt to it~

天師鍾馗 #the Ghost Catcher

今天看了鍾馗傳說，驢子的故事。
驢子終於被鍾馗制服了，它要求天師鍾馗讓它臨死前說說它的遺言。
驢子表明，它明明比任何人都知道善惡有報，但是它很不甘心自己是個沒有靈魂的紙驢子，它所做的一切一起就是爲了得到一個屬於自己的靈魂。
天師鍾馗對驢子說，也是我最最最喜歡的一句，他說：“當你害人的時候已經成爲了邪惡的本身，以惡治惡，是不會有好結果。。”
雖然，天師鍾馗是一個傳說，或者他只是一個捏造人物，但是這句話，不是沒有道理的。
人不能因為一瞬即的私心，慾望而去害人。到頭來，你得到的，你會開心嗎？你會快樂嗎？
想要的，就要憑著自己的實力，千萬不要做出傷害別人，危害性命的事兒，不值得。

善惡有報，人一旦動了邪惡害人之念，都是沒有好結果的。
古人常說，惡人有惡報，如果沒報純粹是因為時辰未到。
我倒相信這點的。
所以，我說嘛~能夠做人已經是很幸運了，至少我們不用像雞鴨等的皮肉之苦呀~
所以要感恩，千萬不要成了邪惡的本身，害人又害己。

讀法律的日子離現在可不遠了，下個星期我就要開學了。
我要面對的，我所面對的，不管是將來還是現在，一路上的絆腳石，一定會有很多，但是我會盡我全力，全力以赴。
我會記得天師鍾馗的話，“當你害人的時候已經成爲了邪惡的本身，以惡制惡，是不會有結果的”。
儘管，以後不能夠付出完全的，但是我會盡我所能不迷失自己。
將來，要面對的邪惡，誘惑一定不比現在少，而且會更多。
但是，我不會後悔，因為這是我選的道路。就算跪著，我也要繼續走下去，而且是堂堂正正的走下去。
人家常說 LAW IS BLIND。法律是有漏洞的。的卻，但是我會盡我所能去幫助需要協助並且清白的人。
謝謝您，鍾馗傳說。儘管鍾馗可能只是一個捏造人物，但是我還是要謝謝您的那句話，讓我刻苦銘心。我會加油的！

你愛對了嗎？#you Found your Mr Right?

有位朋友最近與他的女朋友分手了。
但是，他想送他為女生最後的生日禮物。他便翹課，從 PERAK 蹦會 SEREMBAN，差不多去了 MOST OF THE STATE TO GET HER FRIENDS' BIRTHDAY WISHES。

一個完全不會鋼琴的傢伙，還要求我教他彈奏生日歌。
看見他努力練習，當中還不斷說自己是個笨蛋，學來學去都彈奏不好。說真的，還挺為這個朋友心疼。
雖然，教學當中，要教一個完全不會鋼琴的朋友的卻很難。。但是，看他練習當中，我還被他樂著呢~ 因為，他的姿勢真的很搞笑。所以這其實是 WIN WIN SITUATION。

依我所知，他還希望借此機會與他的女朋友複合。
但是，依情況來定斷，女生視乎變了心，不是我要當烏鴉嘴，因為這好像是最有可能的。
你想想吧~ 一個有距離的愛情，兩方面一個在 NILAI , 一個在 KAMPAR，兩三個月才見一次。
愛，稍微不夠堅定，就會想木屐遊戲，搭得越高，更容易因為中間空洞的出現，隨時倒塌，變得什麽都不是。

不過嘛~人非草木，如果是有感覺的，看他那麼有心思準備的份上，應該會有所打動吧~
我看得出，他真的很愛她，但是似乎把愛放錯了的地方。

這就是人~ 一旦變了心，就會變得無情了。爲了甩脫不必要的，可能會做得很絕。甚至沒有理由的情況下，都能分手，就像他們-----沒理由的分手。
不是我捏造，是他這樣對我說，他根本不知道爲什麽兩人會分手的，就像死了都不知道爲什麽。明明兩人就和好了，第二天就 SEND MESSAGE 說 BREAK UP。
哇~真的好兒科，好像把那三年的感情當成什麽都不是。
我不知道中斷到底兩人發生了什麽事，但是我也不想多說什麼，更不想管。因為，愛情的旁觀者，管不著。
但是，我擔心的不是什麽，就是這位朋友不但沒有得回女友的懷抱，還被伤的片體鱗傷，傷勢重上加重。
可憐呀~ 情為何物?

他愛的未必是愛他的。
愛沒錯，只是放錯在錯的人身上。
加油吧~ 朋友，我祝福你。

愛錯 #the Wrong concept

經過今天，我終於體會到為何古人會說，愛情是可以讓人失去理智。
當愛情要好時，就是滋潤品，不好時，就是連累品。

爲什麽當愛情出現問題時。。人的第一念頭總是以“死”來當籌碼。
但是各位有沒有想過，它。。。
真的是值得嗎？
真的是最佳解決方法嗎？
真的能夠讓另一半感到虧欠嗎？
真的能夠挽回另一半的芳心嗎？

“死”這個字眼連我只是寫，都能讓我感到雞毛疙瘩，無比的恐怖。

生命，人生，就只有那麼的一次，那麼的珍貴，爲什麽要為一棵樹而放棄整片森林呢？
請不要告訴我，因為你愛你的另一半愛的很深，甚至連死你都不怕。
我可以告訴你，我很佩服你的勇敢，佩服你的認真，但是這個決定，這個想法，我十萬個不同意。
沒有人沒有了誰，是不能活下來的。
你因為很愛他或是她，沒有了他在你身旁你很無奈，你很彷徨，你很痛苦。
但是，這是人生，這是神對人的考驗。
小時候，嬰兒時代，開始學走路，跌倒了你哇哇哇哭了幾下，便再接再厲從新爬起，甚至從爬學會走路，走到現在，不是嗎？當初的困難，你更是一個媽媽抱在懷裡的嬰兒，都可以克服困難，克服萬難，學會走路，為何此刻你就不能呢？
就因為一位男生或是一位女生而要死不活的，三天不到兩天就喊死，值得嗎？
爲了一個不值得的人而死，值得嗎？
他不愛你是事實，跟你分手是必然，你拿去自己的性命而要他回到你的身邊，就算是成功了，你得到的不是他的心而是一個空蕩蕩的軀殼而已。
那，你會開心嗎？你會快樂嗎？
你有沒有想過，你像不像路邊的乞丐一樣，在渴求別人給你的施捨。
不一樣的是，乞丐要的是錢，但是你要的卻是別人給不到你的愛。
所以，死。。有意義嗎？
當你在要生要死的階段當中，你也不一樣在折磨自己嗎？何不用那種力量，那種勇氣對自己更好？
你應該要做的不是尋死而要活的比他更好，更燦爛，更成功，更漂亮。
你要向他證明，當初他的選著是錯誤的~不選著你，是因為他不懂得寶，是他的損失。
你要告訴他，沒有了他的存在你也一樣可以活的很自在，很光榮。
讓他這樣的後悔不是比起尋死不是來的更有意義嗎？
況且，你尋死的那瞬間，你有沒有想過你的父母，你的家人，還有關心你的人？
你尋死是因為你要他對你虧欠，要他感到不安，要他感到對不起你。
換個角度，假設你真的出事了，爲了他，你死了，你有對得起辛辛苦苦，不睡不吃，到外頭挨駡，要的不就是讓你過的好，有三餐溫飽的父母，你對得起他們嗎？你對得起你的家人嗎？你對得起關心你的人嗎？在你死之前，你有沒有想過他們的感受？

我的朋友，明天會更好。
這世界上，沒有人不會因為沒有了誰而不能活下。
人不是爲了他人而活，而是為自己而活。
失去所愛的，那段時間的卻很痛苦，但是時間會是一切。就把它當成是成長的一部份，讓它陪同你成長並且學會帶眼識人。
愛一個人，不一定要擁有他，手放開是一種恩德，更是一種美德。
況且，這世界上，除了愛情，還有很多事物都是我們人生的點綴，生命的燦爛。
放開執著，珍惜生命。

朋友的愛情 #Love, which is not Mine

最近，也不知道怎麼了，身邊的。。不管是朋友或是我的家人都好像為情所困。
到底情為何物呢？怎麼那麼有分量，能夠讓人困住。

但是，我還是認為，愛情這個東西永遠都輪不到第三者來管。

一位朋友，她和她的另一半發生了一些不愉快的東西，她還告訴我她對她的另一半感覺很陌生。

她問我該怎麼辦，說真的。。能夠遇到另一半是一件很不容易的事，能夠包容體諒更是難得。

人是沒有完整的，如果真的很不愉快，何必繼續呢。

感情，能夠延續到那麼長的時間，真的很不容易。

但是理智一點，既然不快樂，你我又不能容納，不能接收，更不能體諒，那。。

這段感情有意義嗎？
即使，你們能夠維持感情的長久，你們能保證你們將來的生活雙方都能夠和睦相處嗎？
愛情，不是簡單兩字而已，它也包括了體諒，包容，接受，坦白，更是信任。
即使少了一樣，愛情的快樂都難以出現，而漸漸出現的就是距離，吵架。

這樣的愛情，出現的並不會是快樂，而是會變成一種負擔。

那位朋友還對我說，男生在她生日那天，與她道歉了，她該原諒他然後繼續和他在一起嗎？
說真的，如果讓我不偏袒任何人的立場來說，我沒有意見，也不想給予任何意見，因為不管怎麼樣，我聽到的都是你的一面之詞，所以我不能說是誰對是誰錯。
但是，你的朋友的立場來說，我只能要你好好的去想，你到底該不該再和他一起。

如果不開心，就分手吧~ 如果你認為，你和他的那一年時間很難得，那我只能勸你學會去包容，去接受本來的他，真正的他。

不要問我，你這樣對他還不夠包容嗎？
在愛情這個世界里，其實“還不夠嗎”，這四個字根本就不應該出現的，因為愛情不能像現實生活一樣，我付出多少就要回多少。

因為我包容你那麼多，你就應該體諒我那麼多，那不是愛情的世界啊~

愛情是一個不能被衡量的世界，而是你情我願的世界，是雙方一起付出的世界。

我還是認為你們兩口的事，都是解鈴還須系鈴人的東西，而第三者只能給予你安慰，關懷和意見，而不是為你下定結論。
結論結果應該由自己而定，而且是認真理智地定下結論。
我可不想將來，你會對我有任何的抱怨，我可不想當罪人哪~

好好地想想吧~ 衷心祝你幸福快樂。

語源 #the Starter

从姐姐那得知，发现她教的学校有着许多许多巫族和印族就读。

听她说，其他种族某些还比华人的華语，不管是字体或是其他方面都来的优秀。

忽然觉得华人哪~ 就得争气了。

不然不知道哪一天。。华人对华语的认识远比其他种族来的差。那是真的很可悲了~

我知道，现代人都非常注重英语。

但是，英语重要，华语固然重要，因为我们是华人。

华语是我们的母语。

华语是我们的根。

华语是我们的特权。

生活在，马来西亚，一个多元种族的地方，华人如果再不把唯有的特权掌握好，游戏就会很快结束。到头来我们的后代，教华语的老师都是巫族或是印族而不是华族。那真的很可悲了~

在哪个地方，地球的哪个位置出生，我们没得选择，但是生存在一个以皮肤来定论资格，甚至定论权利，已经是铁定的事实了。

我喜欢马来西亚，也很感谢神放送我到马来西亚，我从不后悔，也不曾希望自己是哪国的人，我很感恩自己是马来西亚的华裔，因为生存在马来西亚，我比别人更认识，更知道，更得知更多的语言，打从我出生以来，我就认识国，英，华，三语。我甚至还会广东语，客家语，少许的福建语。我的语言世界，因为马来西亚而变得多姿多彩。

所以我从不后悔自己是马来西亚人，可能我们会羡慕别国家的四季，下雪，甚至暑假，但是我们的“牺牲”不是白费的~至少国泰明安，没有战争，没有严重的天灾，没有地震，没有火山，没有 TORNADO ，我们都衣食无忧啊~
所以俗语常说：知足常乐。

但是不管怎么样，是华人的一定要会华语，至少。。到将来不会让其他种族的人用回华语来骂我们，而被骂的却不明白。那豈不是很可悲~ O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

華語萬歲！

音樂的力量 #the Music's Power

我喜欢音乐~
音乐的优美，不断地旋绕着，意味着。
音乐无界，最近的我，迷上了一个团体，他们声称自己是 THE PIANO GUYS。
特别喜欢他们那种对音乐的执着，对音乐的特出，对音乐的神奇，好像不管什么乐器他们都能让它优美的“说话”。

我喜欢音乐~
每当音乐响起，单纯只有音乐都能让我毫无犹豫的向大众炫耀我的笑容。
我更喜欢，来自不同国家，国籍的音乐，因为不知道他们在唱什么，就凭音乐，而让人更感动，让音乐飞马星空，让自己对音乐的幻想更庞大。
特别是民谣，音乐特别优美，特别让人容易放空，特别让人充满力量。
音乐真的无界限。我认为，这就是音乐的力量。

曾经，有一位男生也是因为音乐，而让我非常关注他，有种冲动，有种感觉，有种执着，还会心跳加速呢~ 常常都把他挂在嘴边，而且觉得他在玩乐器时还蛮帅的~
我曾经还对他暗示过呢~
但是，不知道他装懂还是不懂。
都算了吧~ 因为那些都不重要了。
因为，今天他的出现，让我发现他让我心跳的影子已经不在我的范围，我的生活圈圈了。
他的声音，他的语言，他的一举一动，不再让我心跳加速，甚至产生幻想。
以前，我会傻傻的等待与他交接，沟通的机会，知道他的近况。每天傻傻的，打开电脑，第一件事不是看什么而是看他有没有上网。
但是。。可能因为时间的流失，之间的距离，一切一切。。
我。。
对他的那种感觉，不再拥有，反而。。只有剩下很单纯很单纯的友谊。
可能他当朋友远比情人来的更适合吧~

原来当初的曾经未必是永久。
你坚持的，未必是圆满美丽的结局。
对他的心情，对他的出现，显得非常无比的平淡，好像心跳加速的事儿不曾发生过，反而对他的剩下是一种不削的感觉。

可能，我对他。。只不过是纯碎的仰慕，说到爱意。。可能还不够坚定吧~

不管整么样，音乐无界，音乐永远是我的力量，我的动力，甚至可以说是影响力，不然我怎么会仰慕他呢，还忽然想起对他的感觉~ O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

我爱音乐！音乐万岁！
I' M LOVING IT! O(∩_∩)O

李宗偉 #Dato‘ Lee Chong Wei

成绩出炉啦！整个马来西亚都为此事轰动，因为咱们家的羽球高手，李宗伟输了比赛。

他虽然输了比赛，但他赢的不单只有大马人民的尊重与爱戴更赢得全世界的钦佩。这往往比胜利来的更有意义。

他真的很棒。他虽然受伤了，但他依然坚持到底。我认为，他是羽球界的传说，不是我说自己的国家没能力，但是没有他，没有李宗伟，马来西亚要得到银牌的可能只是一个远足梦，更别说黄金梦，假期，免费冰淇淋，还更多的。

马来西亚是一个很美丽的国家，多元种族，多元文化，食物天堂，世界和平，等等的美丽。但是，唯一不足的就是政治。其实政治问题，我相信许多国家都会面对的。但是，我衷心希望政府不要把人民当成是无知，政府做事，人民都把它放在眼里。人人应该是平等的，每个都是你的人民，多元种族是大马特征，是大马光荣，是大马标志，所以请你们好好对待你的人民，而不是滥用你的特权。

所谓无风不起浪，在每一方面，领导者或是政治者都应该以身作则，好好利用你们的专利。

在运动方面更是，身为国家的领导者或是政治者，不管输或是赢，你们都应该给予最佳的鼓励而不是质疑国家运动选手的能力，如果说他们没能力，那么，你们比他们更无能因为不要忘记是你们培育他们的。

通过奥运会，人民是可以不分种族，不分上下的为我国运动健将高喝，打气。

通过奥运会，人民是可以不分种族，不分上下的为我国分享比赛高潮，比赛低潮。

通过奥运会，人民是可以不分种族，不分上下的为我国高喊 “MALAYSIA BOLEH”。

因为，我们是一个马来西亚。

由此可见人民是可以分甘同味，为什么别家的沙堆越堆越高，我们的却像一盆散沙呢？

请不要再把所有的东西都给政治化，人人是平等的，人人都应该拥有平等的优惠而不是因为皮肤的颜色而定论你的资格与优惠。

李宗伟的输赢，不是他的错，他也没必要向大家道歉。

人，没有资格也没有权利去批评一个人，没有资格为了假期，为了雪糕，更为了政治去批评李宗伟。

他的付出，你能看见吗？仅因为那瞬间介于输赢的阶段，竟然去批评，去怀疑他的能力。

他的执着，你能看见吗？仅因为那瞬间介于输赢的阶段，去抹杀他当年为国家所立下的功劳。

他的压力，你能看见吗？林丹曾经说过: 他非常幸运，因为整个中国还有很多个林丹，但是马来西亚所有的希望只有在李宗伟的身上。的却！由此可见，他的压力是无法被想象的。

一个比赛当中，输者赢者皆有。但是，勇敢的背负着无形的压力，无影的执着，庞大的付出，但你依然坚持守在自己应守的岗位，毫无退缩，并站在不是人人都有资格的战场上，已经是赢家了。

不管成绩如何，只要是全力以赴，你，不需要道歉，因为你已经赢了全世界的认可与尊重。

况且，李宗伟他还在受伤呢~ 曾经我有一个朋友说过：背负着伤，忍着痛，意志力胜过体力，已经是人的最高境界。的却~很赞同他的说法，意志力胜过疼痛受伤的体能，凭良心，有多少个人能够做得到。不是每个人。

但，我自个儿认为，李崇伟。。他除了意志力胜过体力外，他。。怎么说呢~ 

他，把全马人民的压力，领导者，教练等人所给的压力掌握的恰恰好，没有因为压力而退缩反而把压力掌握成推动力。真的很让人钦佩和讶异。

这是网上人民都在转的消息：

因为你，马来西亚国旗首度在伦敦奥运会升起。
因为你，马来西亚拿下了第一面伦敦奥运会银牌。
因为你，马来西亚人民不分种族为你打气加油．
因为你，马来西亚人民感到骄傲。

Dato李宗伟，谢谢你的付出与努力，你永远是我们的世界第一！

的却！李宗伟，您，太棒了。

那场2012年，伦敦奥运会的羽球男单打比赛，很漂亮。

你是马来西亚的英雄。你是人民的骄傲。你是国家的奇迹。你是传说。加油！

虽然输了金牌，但是你赢了全世界的钦佩，赢了大马人民的心，赢了大马人民的口碑，你永远是我们的世界第一。无形无影的支持永远在你身后。

不要气馁！加油！加油！加油！

你願意嗎？ #YES or No

Just finish watching a film called "YES or NO" which i heard about it from a friend.

Yes or No is a Thai Film starring Sucharat "Aom" Manaying and Supanart "Tina" Jitalleela. 

It was directed by Sarasawadee Wongsompetch as i found out from Wikipedia.

The story is about Pie and Kim, for me Pie is a sweet girl and having an attractive looks who moves into a new college dorm room where she finds out that her new roommate Kim, is a tomboy who looks and dresses like a boy.  Actually Pie whose hostility to Toms parallels her mother’s strong and vocal prejudices caused her to make up her mind to change her dorm room but her teacher do not allow her to do so. What to do..She is forced to stay with her, instead of this she warned her roommate and she even created a boundary on the floor and not allow her to cross over the boundary. As time goes by, their friendship develops, Pie and Kim begin to wonder if the feeling they feel for one another is just an ordinary friendship or true love.

Omg..honestly I am not despising Lesbian or Gay, but it's just an unbelievable fact to me.
I know nowadays love is blind, you can be a gay or a lesbian. Who cares!
Sometimes, I do salute them for their courageous in their's relationship. But through this movie, honestly I am still not ready to accept the different between their relationship, but i do respect them.
In others' vision, may be they are different from others but I do assented one of the Kim's dialogue, that's is even she are Tom or lesbian, but she is still she, this is a fact, she is still Kim who like to cook and do some plantation in the room. She is still Kim who like play games and guitar. She are not much different from others although she is a Tom or Lesbian.
Yeap~ no matter what happen, she like a Tom or she even fall to a girl, she is just like others. They still an ordinary person which created by God.
And i really salute towards Pie for being so brave who willing to in a relationship with Kim.
Really, being a lesbian or gay, it's need lots of lots of courageous.
No matter how is it, everyone is reality, this world is reality. Being a lesbian or gay, they have to ignore peoples' view and bias. They have to ignore peoples' prejudice for despising them as a lesbian or gay.
They have to ignore peoples' boycott for despising them as a lesbian or gay.
In my opinion, only one word which appropriated describing about lesbian and gay, that is courage. Indeed!
Even you and I did not have this kind of courage, saluted them from my bottom of heart.

再見七月，會見八月 #Bye JULY and Hello August

又是另一个漂亮的早晨。

今天的我特别找了一个靠近窗口的地方。

望上天空，一片蔚蓝，正是我最喜欢的天空。虽然有某些部分被树枝给遮盖，但是依然是我喜欢的天空。

我喜欢天空，望上去有一种很舒服的感觉，吸一口气是一口很清爽的味道。盖上眼睛，聆听着一片吱吱咋咋的鸟叫声。

我喜欢天空，可以让我很放空，看着云天思想飞马行空，爱想什么就想什么，我体验过日本IBUSUKI 的天空，它的感觉比较不同。

由于当时是冬天，我试过有一次，把我房间的窗户都打开，透过那窗口，望上那蔚蓝的天空。盖上眼睛，一阵阵的冷风吹到我的脸上，那种感觉真的很好，然后我整个人躺在地板上，好像躺在草原上一样，望着天空，舒适的放空着自己，然后不知不觉地睡着了，直到被忽然的冷风给叫醒，望望时钟，原来这种舒服让我睡了一个小时多，我赶紧把窗户给关上，赶快下楼去。毕竟不是我的家。

我真的很喜欢天空，不知道为什么，我就是很喜欢天空，天空真的很美妙。

现在的我，可说是得空得很，喜欢就望望天空，喜欢就看看戏剧，喜欢就练练钢琴，弹弹吉他，练习日语，读书，也常常好像没有工作似的，从客厅走到去饭厅，从饭厅走到去厨房。这种生活，是不错啦~

但是，我还是喜欢有特定的工作或是功课。这样一来，我才不会觉得我是白活的。

（叹气）人就是那么的矛盾。赶快开学吧~

生活，适当的舒适是应该，但是太过舒适好像又体验不到生活似的。是不是觉得我很像怪卡呢？O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

时间过得真的很快，又到七月尾了。又是时候，与七月说声 BYE BYE。AND SAY HELLO TO AUGUST. O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

但是，I AM READY.

情为何物？#LOVE is?

“心 , 感謝認識你
你 , 充滿我的心
愛情好神奇 有時不需要言語
生活裡默契讓我們都驚喜”

的确。
爱情是一种很神奇的宝贝，它的来临是你我想要的低档都抵挡不住的。
因为，它来无声，去无影。
爱情。。可以说是一个很特别的东西。
其实，它应该被尊敬的，可是很多人似乎都滥用它了。
很多人往往都糟蹋了它的神圣，不管是男或是女。
他们都忽略了爱情的定义。
就比如，很多现在的年轻人往往想要爱情都是想要满足自己的“性”趣。
把爱情就像现在的地球一样都给污染了。他们特别添加了许多的爱情因素。就所谓的：加盐加醋。
其实，爱情是一样很简单的东西。就看你怎么去看待它。
而且把它看得太复杂，不是一件好事。
至于性趣嘛~有人会说，它能增进感情。
但是，对我来说在爱情里，它的存在几率似乎都等于零。在爱情世界里，是一个没有必要的工具。因为，当一个人真真爱上一个人时，不管是男或是女，我想为了不想去伤害对方，我想他们都不会去做吧，因为婚前发生性关系好像对任何一方面都没有保障，特别是女生。如果交往过10次或是更多，每一次都有发生性关系，那会不会好像与那些 PROSTITUTES 都没分别呢？
但是，人各有志嘛~这都是我自己的想法而已啦！

但是，为何说它来无声，去无影呢？
对我来说，爱情发生时是当两个人相爱时，双方的心永远有这【您】这个字。代表着“心上有你”。
因为心上有你，我愿意包容。
因为心上有你，我愿意相信。
因为心上有你，我愿意体谅。
因为心上有你，我觉得幸福。
因为心上有你，我觉得快乐。
因为心上有你，我觉得为了能够爱你，一切都值得。

但是，当心上的你不够清晰，一个人会很容易因为诱惑而被动摇。
这就是为什么爱情去无影。
因为连你自己都不知道感觉何时消失，何时转了个方向。
人嘛~往往都希望自己的另外一半是完美的。但是这世界上，完美的人几乎都不存在。
因为，我认为 NO ONE IS PERFECT。
没有人是完美的，如果太完美的话，生活好像会少了一丁点的人生乐趣。

OAOA

OAOA, 现在就是永远。
这首歌未免太赞了吧！
超爱这首歌~ 这首歌真的很有意思。
真的，人生短短，一眨眼就20年了。
所以啊~想要做什么就做什么。不要管别人怎么想，怎么说，只要是不会伤害到别人，想要做就去做吧~就让自己疯狂疯狂！
这样地活着，不好听地说一句，我觉得就算马上死，也是的无悔无怨的。

这首歌，我最最最爱的歌词部分就是：
快张开你的嘴
再不管你是谁
人生都太短暂
别想别怕别后退
现在就是永远

现在就是永远。。忽然感觉我充满力量哦，可以马上勇敢向前冲！冲冲冲~
人家说，爱情的力量真大。
可是，我说啊~NO NO NO~ 都错了。
应该是：音乐的力量才大哪~
好兴奋哦~O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

I LOVE MUSIC!!!!!!
MAYDAY 虽然有点与现代的小朋友有点所谓的“代沟”啦~但是，他的歌，很有爆发力哦~
超爱的~

“四顧茅廬”的愛情 #the STAUNCH

在上一秒的忽然间，接触到一个来自中国的节目，《百里挑一》。
其实这节目很普通，它只不过是一个帮助人们配对的节目。
但是，就因为他们的爱情吸引了我去观看。
他们就是王坤和蔡慧。

而他们这段爱情可特别的很呐~ 因为，蔡慧是位聋哑的姑娘。但是，王坤却是位健全的伙子，长得还挺帅气哪~
他们的爱情真的让人感动。

据了解，王坤是一个来自北京的，长相还蛮帅气小伙子，一眼看中一位默不作声的姑娘。
他说：“在后台的时候，看到她一个人不说话，心被触动了，她就像坠入凡间的天使，需要有人保护。”
可是，那位姑娘“听”得哭了，她“说”自己需要的是真爱，不是同情。 


其实，如果我是蔡慧，我也会那么说。毕竟是初次见面，残障会使一个人变成刺猬，就是为了保护自己，不让他人甚至不允许任何人来侵犯她的界限。不管是谁，残障，健全与否，人。。都是有尊严的。不能因为残障，而随便与一位同情自己的人，而共度人生。如果是那样，我觉得我宁可不嫁人还不如被同情来得痛快。虽然是残障，因为有手有脚的，要养活自己不是问题，而且还能造福他人。


但是王坤对蔡慧的爱情好像有点执着。第二次，王坤又踏上那节目，这次他用手语为姑娘“朗诵”了一首很美的诗，“你的眼睛是水，你的温柔是花，在我的身体里，建筑起最美丽的城堡，永不倒塌。”这一次，姑娘有些感动，但还是没有跟他走。 


第三次，小伙子再次表示，爱她一辈子，送上一个印有姑娘照片的白色杯子，但女孩子说：“你太优秀了，我觉得自己配不上你，希望你去选其他美丽的女孩子。” 
人，往往是这样。因为，来的太简单，太完美了，很难会让人担心。担心，原来一切都是一场梦。那时的痛苦可能就会像地狱里的煎熬一样，那岂不是在玩火自焚，自讨苦吃吗？
但是，当来得不易又不完美是，人就会埋怨上天是否在捉弄。
我说啊，人，真的很难伺候。


但是执着的王坤使劲了所有的方法在第四次，鼓足勇气，发自内心的求爱再次让人感动。这次所谓：刘备的三顾茅庐，连诸葛亮都答应帮忙。蔡慧虽然是残障，但是，人非草木，是有感情的，所以到最后又被感动了，终于愿意卸下防备，用全身的力气“唱出”：我的情不变，我的爱不变，月亮代表我的心。赢得全场掌声雷动。

如此一幕幕，像童话般美丽，通过这。。我发现原来神，是公平的。当祂把你的一个门给关上时，就会开会另一个门，如果没有，我相信公平的祂还是会留下一道窗。


蔡慧虽然是聋哑的姑娘，但。。可能是好像她的名字一样，她的慧心让人感动，让人融化，让王坤着迷，使得王坤需“四顾茅庐”才得到蔡慧的认可与坚信。
而因为王坤对蔡慧的爱情是人人都认可的坚定与执着，才套得住蔡慧的芳心，使得蔡慧脱下了战服，退下了身上的刺。王坤的“四顾茅庐”成功把蔡慧给把走。


他们的爱情真的得来不易，衷心希望王坤的承诺是发自内心。愿他们永远幸福快乐。