#my Heart~

I'm feeling gloomy and emotional for nowadays~ Even my friends asked me why am I so emo.
I like Geetha's statement, she said guys are so troublesome and always made girls' life in a deep shit and ruin our mood. hahahaha...indeed!

Sometimes, I would like to ask God, what is love?
What it actually means? I felt miserable and always asked myself~ should I get involve into a relationship.
This is insane! My final is around the corner! Why am I thinking!

Somehow, I don't feel like he like me as well. I means it might be in term of friendship like not those lover type.
Honestly, he don't seem like my type but I don't know why am I having a crush on him!
I remembered we went to eat burger during a promotion day. I forgot to bring my student ID and he said he had an extra. So, I was like okay~ When we reached that place, the queue was long and a long the way, he was busy messaging. *ironically smile* and he said she was his pet sister and his extra student ID was a girl's ID card.
I was like:"yea~" I don't know~ Flirting around was your talent! I don't have the right to ask you not to do since that was your lifestyle! I'm just felt that I'm stupid! I'm an idiot! Why am I care about so much when you don't even care about it. I felt that I'm just like a fool~ a crown!

I have a friend, let's called it Z, who asked me to beware of him because I still don't know his real personality. Both of his ex-girlfriends also mention about insecure. Yea~ I knew about that. I might don't know the real personality of you but this was a truth that I'm having a crush on you.
I 'm such a fool!
Form 2, Form 5. Form 6...*ironically smile* I had crushed with 3 peoples before you, but....I'm a coward! I don't even dare to move the first step!
Might be because, too many stuff that needed me to consider about.
I have to consider about my parents who do not agree and do not allow me to have a relationship with a guy.
I have to consider about the guy's feeling which he have to suffer with me. For him, I felt that it is unfair. He don't have to.
Yea~ it might be some lame excuses that I'm giving....hah~ I 'm a coward!
I told you that my heart is strong enough to handle everything..but in fact! I'm not! I'm just an ordinary girl like others. I just a girl who don't like to cry in front of peoples. I'm just a girl who like keep secret, feeling... to myself. I'm just a girl who is not special at all.....
Yea~ *pat my heart* everything going to be so fine!
Yea~ everything is going to be so fine! Smile and laugh like no bodies care!

Thank you Diary~ thank you for being my garbage bin for the pass few years~