oh yeah~ 30th of September!
At last! My turn to turn into an adult. LOL
To be honest, is kinda sad though.
I wished I could just stay forever 18 years old. Somehow, that's impossible. LOL
Oh well, what have I done for my big day. LOL
Honestly, nothing~ hahahhaa. The 'great' birthday ever when you are sick. LOL
Like seriously?!? I can't believe that I'M SICK! LOL
However, thanks for the wishes buddies, especially the wishes that came from US. LOL
Thanks a lot dude! *hugs* That really meant a lot to me. :)
Well, my 21st, I can't just let it be like that. May be I'm going to present myself a hand phone for this year. wakakakakka.
As a memory which wake me up reminding me life ain't good, no pain no gain~
There come my wishes part~
My first wish, I would like to present it to my family members. Wish them all with a good health, stay safe and happy always. May all their dreams come true.
Second, I wished I could finish up my degree with flying colours and made my family proud of it. First honour degree would be my target. Sheryi~ GOGOGO!
Thirdly, I would like to present it to the world. May all of them in this world surrounding with happiness. No more wars while just left the only peace countries and the happy peoples. :) Children, women nor men. They have their rights for living, for speech, for freedom. What left to them is all happiness. PEACE!
God bless everyone :)
This year! Nothing much celebration though is my "big" day. LOL
Last Friday~ Kelvin and all of them did give me a so called "surprise" party~ but to be honest that ain't surprise. hahahha~ May be my sixth sense are just too strong. LOL
Too bad~ but still....At least,someone celebrated it with me even though my family not going to celebrate with me. LOL.
But still I wished I could celebrate my day with my family. This will be my last birthday in Malaysia. My last celebration which I could celebrate together with them.
Anyway, birthday ain't meant anything. Just bared with it. LOL
Life still goes on. HAHA
Is 7.20pm, MY BIRTHDAY is almost gone~ hahaha.
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY, SHERYI! MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE. :)
Monday, September 30, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
SHit~
Countdown...
2 more days...will be my 21st birthday.
Time passed really fast, 20 years...I been living in this world for the past 21 years.
Today, when I was with Alan at the Econsave....
Out of sudden, Malissa called me and asked me out just for Cheah Yee Hong's Birthday celebration.
HaHa. It was a surprised, I guess it had been some time we didn't actually meet up or what ever is it.
Birthday celebration...don't know why...there was some blue feeling in me.
It's sounds like, same goes to today the photo session with my classmates.
I felt a bit sour actually...my birthday...I guess except Yvonne...who was the one who actually still remember my birthday...who else will be if theyre is no reminded or what ever.. hahaha
Even my dad and mum don't remember that and how sad case was...they are not going to celebrate my 21st birthday. hahaha.
My 21st birthday....I don't know why...I don't care about my others birthday...but it was my 21st birthday...hahaha...
Somehow, they did ask me whether wanna a birthday party or not. Supposingly, it is a yes...but later my mum suggest what about we go some steak house and celebrate...I'm actually just fine with it...
I know, it's a messed and troublesome if to held a party just to celebrate my birthday...Plus, they no longer as young as last time. I'm just all fine, even with a cake with my family..I guess it will be my last birthday with them. After those years, I will be all by myself...
However, plan changed...it been postponed till this coming December.
What's the point of celebrating? It's sounds like just a family gathering, there no longer a thing which worth to celebrate. hahaha
I'm just feeling....haiz...
Is okay~ it been damn years that they did not celebrate with me...Sometimes, they don;t even remember my birthday. It should be all fine. What's the big deal.....
Feeling better right now...just forget about everything. Don't even think of it...just make it like last time....who cares about your birthday. Not like peoples must remember your birthday...Joke right? hahaha
Really can't imagine that i'm 21 years old and will be officially upgrade as an adult.
Kinda unwillingly, hahaha...I guess it's good that no one remember your birthday...at least you are forever young. LOL.
21st birthday...What am I suppose to make this memorable?? Present myself a watch? a phone? or a camera? hahahahahaha...sounds like I really need to work hard though. They ain't cheap stuff. LOL
My 21st birthday...LOL.
Beside this, don't know why...today was the first day that I don't feel like going for dodgeball training.
May be, it's really happen a lot of things until it ruined my mood for attending.
Interpreting. I am hoping, really hoping that the feeling that I owed wasn't right.
I really don't hope that Chong Inn is that kind of backstabbing person.
We have been a while. May be I don't know everything about him, but at least I knew him and he is the one that I can consider as a close friend.
Will he be the second fella just like Peter?
I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for it. I told myself he ain't that bad and he is not that kind of person.
I'm just wished to have fun. That's all what I want from the club, from the training.
Is that...that hard???
Sometimes, I do feel like asking the God, why is He taking away all my close friends and turned them into a beast.
Why???
I don't understand...Really don't understand.
I'm laughing...I guess...
2 more days...will be my 21st birthday.
Time passed really fast, 20 years...I been living in this world for the past 21 years.
Today, when I was with Alan at the Econsave....
Out of sudden, Malissa called me and asked me out just for Cheah Yee Hong's Birthday celebration.
HaHa. It was a surprised, I guess it had been some time we didn't actually meet up or what ever is it.
Birthday celebration...don't know why...there was some blue feeling in me.
It's sounds like, same goes to today the photo session with my classmates.
I felt a bit sour actually...my birthday...I guess except Yvonne...who was the one who actually still remember my birthday...who else will be if theyre is no reminded or what ever.. hahaha
Even my dad and mum don't remember that and how sad case was...they are not going to celebrate my 21st birthday. hahaha.
My 21st birthday....I don't know why...I don't care about my others birthday...but it was my 21st birthday...hahaha...
Somehow, they did ask me whether wanna a birthday party or not. Supposingly, it is a yes...but later my mum suggest what about we go some steak house and celebrate...I'm actually just fine with it...
I know, it's a messed and troublesome if to held a party just to celebrate my birthday...Plus, they no longer as young as last time. I'm just all fine, even with a cake with my family..I guess it will be my last birthday with them. After those years, I will be all by myself...
However, plan changed...it been postponed till this coming December.
What's the point of celebrating? It's sounds like just a family gathering, there no longer a thing which worth to celebrate. hahaha
I'm just feeling....haiz...
Is okay~ it been damn years that they did not celebrate with me...Sometimes, they don;t even remember my birthday. It should be all fine. What's the big deal.....
Feeling better right now...just forget about everything. Don't even think of it...just make it like last time....who cares about your birthday. Not like peoples must remember your birthday...Joke right? hahaha
Really can't imagine that i'm 21 years old and will be officially upgrade as an adult.
Kinda unwillingly, hahaha...I guess it's good that no one remember your birthday...at least you are forever young. LOL.
21st birthday...What am I suppose to make this memorable?? Present myself a watch? a phone? or a camera? hahahahahaha...sounds like I really need to work hard though. They ain't cheap stuff. LOL
My 21st birthday...LOL.
Beside this, don't know why...today was the first day that I don't feel like going for dodgeball training.
May be, it's really happen a lot of things until it ruined my mood for attending.
Interpreting. I am hoping, really hoping that the feeling that I owed wasn't right.
I really don't hope that Chong Inn is that kind of backstabbing person.
We have been a while. May be I don't know everything about him, but at least I knew him and he is the one that I can consider as a close friend.
Will he be the second fella just like Peter?
I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for it. I told myself he ain't that bad and he is not that kind of person.
I'm just wished to have fun. That's all what I want from the club, from the training.
Is that...that hard???
Sometimes, I do feel like asking the God, why is He taking away all my close friends and turned them into a beast.
Why???
I don't understand...Really don't understand.
I'm laughing...I guess...
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
#my Heart
I'm speechless right now. Totally speechless.
Even though I'm keeping distance, apparently...I'm still losing them as friend.
Friend forever?? As you said, always.
LOL. This is just a joke??
Friend...fine~
The more I care the worst I feel.
Anyway...I'm just found my self who was a noob and you are the one who gradually became a stranger to me.
Frankly speaking, you will never know how I feel right now.
No matter Sammy or you....
I guess, I made a wrong move?
I'm trying to help but end up locking myself into deep shit.
I'm just too stupid.
It's always like the more I care, the worst I get.
No pain, no gain no longer sounds logic in this situation.
"I don't care any more."
It's always sounds much more easier to say than action.
I'm having lots of things to be settle right now.
Doing part time while studying.
And yet, this Sem was a sem that really stressed me up a lot.
And now you guys treat me like that.
Am I that stupid? Where you guys can just throw away after using me?
Great one~
Nice job buddy.
Thank you. What have I done wrong?
Haiz~~
*pat pat. Everything is going to be so fine.
Yea...Everything going to be so fine.
Even though I'm keeping distance, apparently...I'm still losing them as friend.
Friend forever?? As you said, always.
LOL. This is just a joke??
Friend...fine~
The more I care the worst I feel.
Anyway...I'm just found my self who was a noob and you are the one who gradually became a stranger to me.
Frankly speaking, you will never know how I feel right now.
No matter Sammy or you....
I guess, I made a wrong move?
I'm trying to help but end up locking myself into deep shit.
I'm just too stupid.
It's always like the more I care, the worst I get.
No pain, no gain no longer sounds logic in this situation.
"I don't care any more."
It's always sounds much more easier to say than action.
I'm having lots of things to be settle right now.
Doing part time while studying.
And yet, this Sem was a sem that really stressed me up a lot.
And now you guys treat me like that.
Am I that stupid? Where you guys can just throw away after using me?
Great one~
Nice job buddy.
Thank you. What have I done wrong?
Haiz~~
*pat pat. Everything is going to be so fine.
Yea...Everything going to be so fine.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
#Me
Today was the last day of UCSI's Open Tournament.
Even though we lost the game, it is a worth, at least I gained some experience.
But before the game start..
All the balls was taken but RED's members and yet my team members wished to warm up before the game as well.
I don't know why, out of sudden Alan scolded me and ask me to get the ball from them as that was KDU's balls.
I don't understand. Not like I don't want to get back the ball where I don't have the gut or I'm still small and don't dare to ask back the ball from them.
It was like not good to take back something when people is playing or using. I really don't understand why you need to raise up your voice?? I just don't understand. I felt damn bad that time. Did I done something wrong? Did I done something really really wrong?
If, it was because those things and I made you fell into deep shit...I'm really sorry about it. I don't meant to. You have feeling, so do I have my owe thinking and feeling thou I used to happy come lucky go.
What the hell~
I been trying to keep a distance. I'm damn screwed for today.
I wanted to talk but I have to care about others people's feeling.
Who going to care about my feeling?
My thinking is too simple until ignore the consequences that I have been cause??
Like I want? I really never thought that. We are just friend.
I don't meant to trigger your jealousy, it's all just friend's talk.
What do you think I wanna do??? How am I suppose to know every single word that you speak meant something? I know you like him, but you know I was with Kelvin.
Can't I just be myself?
What you want me to do?
Wear a mask like all the KL peoples do?
I don't like and I have to say I like?
I don't know... my feeling is damn confused right now.
Neither you nor him, you guys were one of those where I included as close friend all along when I was in PJ.
After the talk, it's seem like it was my fault where I actually owe you a duty of care..
My fault for giving him a wrong feeling.
My fault for triggering your jealousy.
My fault for appearing..
My fault for making you emo.
My fault for being innocent.
I just want everything to be simple. It's that hard?
You know what...I'm really stressed up.
I'm feeling I'm wearing mask right now.
I can't be myself.
This is totally out of my principals.
Each time I pat my heart and tell myself everything is going to be so fine, eventually nothing is going to be so fine...
Do you think only you emo inside and smiling outside?
Do you know that, each time when I feel something wrong and there is always a feeling I need to release. What will I do is, I will punch the wall until I felt the pain, till the indescribable feeling is released.
I'm a human being as well.
True that I'm happy come lucky go but I do have feeling. I do have sad feeling as well.
I don't know...things just happen too fast......just too fast......
I just need some time to calm down....
I guess I really need to sleep right now...
Friday, September 6, 2013
#Thankful ^^
Oh well...Feeling better now...
Was damn gloomy for the day before.
But feeling much more better right now...
Feeling grateful for the post which pope out in my eyes for no reason.
"When somebody ignore you, don't be sad :) as they are not meant to be accompany you as always, they do have their owe life as well."
True~ Sorry for being too sensitive. My Bad. :(
Dear Diary,
I don't know...
That's the right choice when you choose for being alone.
At least you won't feel much feeling...at least you won't have the feeling like the whole world is abandoning you.
Peoples who around you are ignoring you.
As simple as I can, I just wanna live with a smile or may be laugh where I can really keep as memories.
Nothing is impossible. :)
True~
Today was my first time, seeing the damn quarrel happen between Chong Inn and Alan.
What was my first feeling was, go to the front and stop them.
But out of sudden, something pull me back and my heart told me that I shouldn't, as what Alan told me before because I can't stop them.
Oh well, I really wished I could as we are friends dude. No quarrel between friends just because of minor thingy?? My God!
And it also my first time where accident happen just infront of me when I wanted to cross the road. Thank God! For taking care of me and made it happen just before I step out of the road. It was so close....I was screaming, hopefully no one saw that. LOL.
What a first time huh?!?! *should I feel lucky about it? LOL
Somehow, I still hope things can just go smoothly after today. :)
Appreciate it much much more than what I can say. LOL
And good news was, Chong Inn finally!!!! Yeah!!! ^^
We can just like last time!!!
Along the weeks, I guess this was the time I actually speak more than usual after the thing happen..HMMM~ well, I guess I should said whatapps-ing with him more that verbal conversation. LOL
Feeling great and thankful :)
Was damn gloomy for the day before.
But feeling much more better right now...
Feeling grateful for the post which pope out in my eyes for no reason.
"When somebody ignore you, don't be sad :) as they are not meant to be accompany you as always, they do have their owe life as well."
True~ Sorry for being too sensitive. My Bad. :(
Dear Diary,
I don't know...
That's the right choice when you choose for being alone.
At least you won't feel much feeling...at least you won't have the feeling like the whole world is abandoning you.
Peoples who around you are ignoring you.
As simple as I can, I just wanna live with a smile or may be laugh where I can really keep as memories.
Nothing is impossible. :)
True~
Today was my first time, seeing the damn quarrel happen between Chong Inn and Alan.
What was my first feeling was, go to the front and stop them.
But out of sudden, something pull me back and my heart told me that I shouldn't, as what Alan told me before because I can't stop them.
Oh well, I really wished I could as we are friends dude. No quarrel between friends just because of minor thingy?? My God!
And it also my first time where accident happen just infront of me when I wanted to cross the road. Thank God! For taking care of me and made it happen just before I step out of the road. It was so close....I was screaming, hopefully no one saw that. LOL.
What a first time huh?!?! *should I feel lucky about it? LOL
Somehow, I still hope things can just go smoothly after today. :)
Appreciate it much much more than what I can say. LOL
And good news was, Chong Inn finally!!!! Yeah!!! ^^
We can just like last time!!!
Along the weeks, I guess this was the time I actually speak more than usual after the thing happen..HMMM~ well, I guess I should said whatapps-ing with him more that verbal conversation. LOL
Feeling great and thankful :)
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
#What a Dumb ASS will do
I don't know why...I'm just feeling damn gloom right now.
I'm just feeling everything not coming that smooth as what I expected.
Even that darn printer are trying to bully me.
Moving and not moving. Like seriously and what the hell.
The saddest part was the promise that has been made.
I don't understand. What means by promise?
I know... when the time I decide to walk off from the circle. I guess the promise no longer belongs to me.
Why am I still eager to hold on to that promise that doesn't belong to me?
And who cares, even yourself not keen about it. Who am I be there to care about it.
Just forget about it then. That's how a promise would hurt someone.
Beside that, Don't know why...I felt myself no longer able to join their's world.
I'm kinda started to regret for moving over to this house.
At least when I was in Aunty Monica's house...I won't care much and that's only me and my room.
I won't care what my dinner gonna have, I won't care who is joining me for dinner nor lunch. I can just eat what ever I want even alone cooking for just only me.
Somehow, when I was here and I started to use to go lunch and dinner with them...It's silently became part of my life.
When out of sudden, it will made me feel much more lonely when their are not around just like today.
I really hate this feeling.
I hate peoples interrupting my life and made a full-stop when I used to it.
People has their own life to go. Go after a girl or may be out of sudden a girl go after one of your friend...
Anyhow, All is just my problems.
Eventually Friday night we are going to watch movie together, somehow...
*laugh. I don't know. "Are you okay with it? Let's see how?" *laugh. Can I just say not okay? What's the NO means??? Eventually you guys have decided how the plan goes. Why ask me? Just for the sick of asking?
This really made me feel like more dumb as usual. Why made this?
When you used to it, but out of sudden peoples tend to forget your available.
*laugh. I know right~ That's funny...
I'm a weirdo. I used to live alone all the way. Yeah~ That's the way I live for.
Friends....
I'm just too selfish. I'm really sorry about it.
I'm just feeling everything not coming that smooth as what I expected.
Even that darn printer are trying to bully me.
Moving and not moving. Like seriously and what the hell.
The saddest part was the promise that has been made.
I don't understand. What means by promise?
I know... when the time I decide to walk off from the circle. I guess the promise no longer belongs to me.
Why am I still eager to hold on to that promise that doesn't belong to me?
And who cares, even yourself not keen about it. Who am I be there to care about it.
Just forget about it then. That's how a promise would hurt someone.
Beside that, Don't know why...I felt myself no longer able to join their's world.
I'm kinda started to regret for moving over to this house.
At least when I was in Aunty Monica's house...I won't care much and that's only me and my room.
I won't care what my dinner gonna have, I won't care who is joining me for dinner nor lunch. I can just eat what ever I want even alone cooking for just only me.
Somehow, when I was here and I started to use to go lunch and dinner with them...It's silently became part of my life.
When out of sudden, it will made me feel much more lonely when their are not around just like today.
I really hate this feeling.
I hate peoples interrupting my life and made a full-stop when I used to it.
People has their own life to go. Go after a girl or may be out of sudden a girl go after one of your friend...
Anyhow, All is just my problems.
Eventually Friday night we are going to watch movie together, somehow...
*laugh. I don't know. "Are you okay with it? Let's see how?" *laugh. Can I just say not okay? What's the NO means??? Eventually you guys have decided how the plan goes. Why ask me? Just for the sick of asking?
This really made me feel like more dumb as usual. Why made this?
When you used to it, but out of sudden peoples tend to forget your available.
*laugh. I know right~ That's funny...
I'm a weirdo. I used to live alone all the way. Yeah~ That's the way I live for.
Friends....
I'm just too selfish. I'm really sorry about it.
Friday, August 23, 2013
#the Silent Memories
Memories~
When there is dawn will there be another shinning sun rise??
I was in a relationship, at last, for the past 20 years.
I can't believe that he is the one who is the first one who step into my border line.
and he is the one who I'm actually allowing him to step into. LOL. He kinda daring though. LOL
It is true that, I am having a new relationship, isn't it should be a happy?
Somehow, I don't know why... I realized when I learn to accept something new, I loses something old, I loses something that I used to be...
Eventually, I felt that I lost a friend that I can speak to.
Yesterday, Kelvin asked me why? What am I thinking?
I feel like telling him, but I was stopped. I don't know whether am I suppose to tell him what I'm feeling right now.
I'm certainly no regret for starting a new relationship with Kelvin.
However, at the same time...I don't feel like losing a friend that I used to close to.
On the facts, I'm losing him as my close friend.
I don't mind going together with him in the same car to dodgeball.
I don't mind having meal with him.
Just that.. what I felt was, being fencing off by him.
He is actually trying to avoid me.
I told myself...it is okay~ just give him some time. I can't be that selfish. He need time to recover.
Eventually I knew that it is hurt. I'm sorry. I don't meant to.
What I hope was, can we just be something like last time??? We talk, we play, we joke, we whatapps...
But I just found out...it seem like impossible any more.
What bond that we left was the debts that I owed him.
When the dawn goes, will the sun rise exactly the same like yesterday?
When the rains come, will the same rainbow shown like yesterday?
Am I doing the right thing??
I don't know who can I tell.
I really don't know.
I am worried things might change again if I speak it out.
At least now, I'm the only one who feeling sad about it.
I'm just a trouble. I'm sorry...I'm really sorry about it.
I really don't meant to built any happiness out from your wounds.
What I always hope was we can just like last time.....
I'm just dreaming i guess...
Haiz..but please don't smoke any more. This is what you have promised me.
Even the result wasn't that expected by you nor me.
But please don't smoke any more.
I don't know am I dreaming or what ever, I smell a sense of smoke when you was back to the room.
I hope that was just my mistake.
As I still believed that you are the one who won't break promises...
*pat pat* Everything going to be so fine.
I feel like what can I do now, is appear less until he really speak to me for once again without any boundaries or fencing.
I'm sorry Choong Inn. I'm really sorry about everything. I don't meant to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
When there is dawn will there be another shinning sun rise??
I was in a relationship, at last, for the past 20 years.
I can't believe that he is the one who is the first one who step into my border line.
and he is the one who I'm actually allowing him to step into. LOL. He kinda daring though. LOL
It is true that, I am having a new relationship, isn't it should be a happy?
Somehow, I don't know why... I realized when I learn to accept something new, I loses something old, I loses something that I used to be...
Eventually, I felt that I lost a friend that I can speak to.
Yesterday, Kelvin asked me why? What am I thinking?
I feel like telling him, but I was stopped. I don't know whether am I suppose to tell him what I'm feeling right now.
I'm certainly no regret for starting a new relationship with Kelvin.
However, at the same time...I don't feel like losing a friend that I used to close to.
On the facts, I'm losing him as my close friend.
I don't mind going together with him in the same car to dodgeball.
I don't mind having meal with him.
Just that.. what I felt was, being fencing off by him.
He is actually trying to avoid me.
I told myself...it is okay~ just give him some time. I can't be that selfish. He need time to recover.
Eventually I knew that it is hurt. I'm sorry. I don't meant to.
What I hope was, can we just be something like last time??? We talk, we play, we joke, we whatapps...
But I just found out...it seem like impossible any more.
What bond that we left was the debts that I owed him.
When the dawn goes, will the sun rise exactly the same like yesterday?
When the rains come, will the same rainbow shown like yesterday?
Am I doing the right thing??
I don't know who can I tell.
I really don't know.
I am worried things might change again if I speak it out.
At least now, I'm the only one who feeling sad about it.
I'm just a trouble. I'm sorry...I'm really sorry about it.
I really don't meant to built any happiness out from your wounds.
What I always hope was we can just like last time.....
I'm just dreaming i guess...
Haiz..but please don't smoke any more. This is what you have promised me.
Even the result wasn't that expected by you nor me.
But please don't smoke any more.
I don't know am I dreaming or what ever, I smell a sense of smoke when you was back to the room.
I hope that was just my mistake.
As I still believed that you are the one who won't break promises...
*pat pat* Everything going to be so fine.
I feel like what can I do now, is appear less until he really speak to me for once again without any boundaries or fencing.
I'm sorry Choong Inn. I'm really sorry about everything. I don't meant to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Friday, August 9, 2013
冰沙の記憶· 点号 #the snow· full-stop
冰沙の記憶· 点号即将是这记忆的终点。
不管是华语或是英语。
这一片记忆会是我最后能够给予的。
原地跑步并不是个错误但却也不是件好事。
人海茫茫中，成长是必然，经过是必须。
感谢为我付出过的。
更感恩一度陪我成长的。
虽说，心跳声不再为你响起，而那答案更是出乎我意料地让我显得有点心酸，更是让我觉得我是个大傻瓜，大笨蛋，似乎傻到将近无可救药的极点。
原来，这一切都是幻想，都是幻觉。。你还真有这股力量。（笑）
那股能让我，还以为所有的一切还像真的似的。。。
但是，不管怎样。。还是感恩。
曾经有种念头要把所有在此与他的记忆一度给毁灭。。
把我所书写下的他，对他不论是感觉或是事物，一度给删除。
但，现在的我。。。想把它给留下。
没有任何的想要留念的理由，只是觉得。。这会是个美好的提点。好让我不再犯下同样的错误，更是不应拥有的幻想。
好让它提醒自己，不应再对任何人产生任何可笑的幻觉，不应再做出有的没的猜测。。。提醒自己，因该成长了。
老实话，到目前。。。我还是认为他不是个坏人。
谢谢你~
谢谢你让我成长。。。
很多时候，停留是一种勇敢，更是一种执着。
没有人会所知道，下一秒，下一步，会发生什么事。
但，如果人。。。学不会手放开，会是一种遗憾。
因为，每一天，每一秒。。。人生就像一列列的火车般。。
当火车开跑时，那一幕幕迅速的外景就会像人生般，一幕幕成为我们所谓的记忆。
如果停留着，或许。。。我们错过的不只单单美好的事物，更是一支支能够让我们掌握的钥匙。
冰沙的记忆会是我美好的过程。
感谢，他所给予我的成长。
谢谢你。
因为这一切的风云，虽来得快，偶尔的感觉会让我措手不及，偶尔的事物会让我后悔不堪，偶尔的傻事会让我觉得我应当鸵鸟，偶尔的无聊可能让你会觉得我的幼稚，我的可笑，更可能是我的可悲。
但是，我还是想要谢谢你。
谢谢你填满了我其中一列的火车厢。
而这一列也就被命名为冰沙的记忆。
Friday, April 5, 2013
心曲的白天鹅 #the Dancing Swan :)
曾经，有人说过。。
“当你在听一首歌时，你听的，你喜爱的不是因为它美妙的旋律，而是它为你而唱的心情。”
一首能够让你掉眼泪的一首，是否因为它的旋律符合你的心情？
面具。。演技。。是否都行的通？？
那一句问候，你的回答，是否就只有安慰，安抚关心你的人？？
闭上眼睛
面具，演技，谎言
听着心跳
耸起双肩 戴上耳机
旋律的飘逸
围绕着身边每一个细胞
微妙的旋律 顽皮的手指
不停玩弄着 起起伏伏的脚趾
批掉身上的演服
我 那是真正的我吗？
谎言的可悲
说出了一个 就必须续集
我能坦白吗？
可笑里的笑
是心里真正 世界桃园吗？
我到底在哪里？
头 渐渐靠拢耸起的双脚
双手 渐渐抱起无助的身躯
寻找着 听见自己的声音
我到底在哪里？
脑子 任由心曲带着当初的自己
朗读声 原来是那么的好听
追逐声 原来是那么的单纯
教师们 原来是那么的美好
当初的 原来是那么的舒服
过去的 原来是那么的怀念
现在的 原来是那么的悲哀
未来的 原来是那么的黑暗
我到底去了哪里？
笑声 原来已经没有当初的单纯
心灵 原来已经没有当初的冰清
身躯 原来已经没有当初的活泼
心跳 原来已经没有当初的目的
我到底在哪里？
讨厌 演服
讨厌 谎言
讨厌 演技
讨厌 夸说
讨厌 密语
讨厌 讨厌
我 如果能 我希望 我奢望
可怜的眼泪 能够为我洗净一切
寻回 当初的自己
我。。。
很快乐 最可悲的答案 最无助的安慰
把它穿上吧~ 可怕的世界需要它的安抚。。。
如果 再如果
我可以选择
我想要 回去当初的我
那单纯的我 那最单纯的笑容
可是 一切 所有 变了
天空
蔚蓝的天空
美妙的天空
闭上眼睛
张开双手
舒适的风
飘逸的温柔
清晰地叫声
清爽的味道
绿绿的草丛
组合成乐队
是否影影约约
告述自己
“孩子 扬起你的笑脸 把影子留在身后”
我 笑了
不是那可悲的 笑
不是那可惜的 笑
不是那淫邪的 笑
而是
那 最真诚
那 最单纯
那 最舒适
那 我最爱的笑容
大大力的深呼吸
把无需的废气 统统给豁出去
我 重生了
我 要改变
“当你在听一首歌时，你听的，你喜爱的不是因为它美妙的旋律，而是它为你而唱的心情。”
一首能够让你掉眼泪的一首，是否因为它的旋律符合你的心情？
面具。。演技。。是否都行的通？？
那一句问候，你的回答，是否就只有安慰，安抚关心你的人？？
闭上眼睛
面具，演技，谎言
听着心跳
耸起双肩 戴上耳机
旋律的飘逸
围绕着身边每一个细胞
微妙的旋律 顽皮的手指
不停玩弄着 起起伏伏的脚趾
批掉身上的演服
我 那是真正的我吗？
谎言的可悲
说出了一个 就必须续集
我能坦白吗？
可笑里的笑
是心里真正 世界桃园吗？
我到底在哪里？
头 渐渐靠拢耸起的双脚
双手 渐渐抱起无助的身躯
寻找着 听见自己的声音
我到底在哪里？
脑子 任由心曲带着当初的自己
朗读声 原来是那么的好听
追逐声 原来是那么的单纯
教师们 原来是那么的美好
当初的 原来是那么的舒服
过去的 原来是那么的怀念
现在的 原来是那么的悲哀
未来的 原来是那么的黑暗
我到底去了哪里？
笑声 原来已经没有当初的单纯
心灵 原来已经没有当初的冰清
身躯 原来已经没有当初的活泼
心跳 原来已经没有当初的目的
我到底在哪里？
讨厌 演服
讨厌 谎言
讨厌 演技
讨厌 夸说
讨厌 密语
讨厌 讨厌
我 如果能 我希望 我奢望
可怜的眼泪 能够为我洗净一切
寻回 当初的自己
我。。。
很快乐 最可悲的答案 最无助的安慰
把它穿上吧~ 可怕的世界需要它的安抚。。。
如果 再如果
我可以选择
我想要 回去当初的我
那单纯的我 那最单纯的笑容
可是 一切 所有 变了
天空
蔚蓝的天空
美妙的天空
闭上眼睛
张开双手
舒适的风
飘逸的温柔
清晰地叫声
清爽的味道
绿绿的草丛
组合成乐队
是否影影约约
告述自己
“孩子 扬起你的笑脸 把影子留在身后”
我 笑了
不是那可悲的 笑
不是那可惜的 笑
不是那淫邪的 笑
而是
那 最真诚
那 最单纯
那 最舒适
那 我最爱的笑容
大大力的深呼吸
把无需的废气 统统给豁出去
我 重生了
我 要改变
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
女人，別敗在自己手裡♥ #ladies, do not lose yourself :)
1、你的衣服不用以量取勝，收起那些不合時宜的蕾絲、花邊或者娃娃衫，從今天起你得保證
掛在衣櫃裡的每一件衣服都有不錯的質地、得體的款式和適合自己的顏色。
2、要對自己的外貌負責，別相信素面朝天才是美，不願用時間來裝扮自己的女孩，請不要對
其她漂亮的女孩心生產生嫉妒或不滿。但臉上的粉不要厚到讓別人擔心你一笑會崩掉或掉 渣什麼的程度。
3、不斷充實自己的內涵，多看書，多學習。書架裡別只擺言情和網絡小說，你需要看點別
的，社會、人文、政治、財經、時尚、家庭……花瓶易碎，紅顏易老，唯有你的內涵彌久
歷新。
4、自信！自信！自信！即使站在穿香奈兒洋裝，挎著限量版LV包包的女人身邊也要抬頭挺
胸，自信滿滿。沒錢時瞧不起自己的人，有錢了就會瞧不起別人。
5、不要讓一些人影響你的心情，這世上多臭不要臉的傻×都有，無視他們好了，別置氣，你
非要愛生氣，那就活該被氣死！
6、人都要長大且成熟，大學畢業後不要再梳兩條小辮子，別總一開口就：“我們女孩
子……”裝清純裝可愛比不清純不可愛本身更要命。
7、性感不是一種裝扮，而是一種氣質，露出半個屁股不是性感。
8、不要相信偶像劇，別總以為自己是灰姑娘——灰姑娘常有而王子不常有。可以看星座，但
不要太相信，否則會吃虧。
9、不要遇到困難或不開心就想到哭，第一滴淚是珍珠，第二滴是水晶，第三滴是露水，第四
滴就是自來水。萬一脆弱的不行了，請選好哭泣的對象，不要隨便藉肩膀和胸膛。
10、要有幾個死黨。但記住，不要和跟你說別人壞話的人交朋友。
11、是秘密就不要隨便跟別人說。也不要去探聽別人的隱私，不要在背後說他人是非，長舌
婦比烏鴉嘴更討厭。
12、工作時要認真。有野心，偶爾做做工作狂沒什麼不好。
13、無論你單身，還是已嫁了個好男人，不要有依賴思想，要獨立。學會投資，學會理財，
不要好吃懶做，自己喜的東西努力自己買，不打男人錢的主意，他給你花是他的事，這
是你的驕傲。
14、一個人最大的悲哀就是不願意當自己，輸什麼都不輸氣質，丟什麼都不丟個性。
15、別宣揚你的戀情史，男孩越談越成熟，女孩卻越談越爛。
16、不要24小時都想著同一個人，如果發短信給你喜歡的人，他不回，請不要再發了。
17、記得你喜歡的人的生日，特別是家人。愛父母，爸媽永遠是你最重要的人。相信我，子
欲養而親不待比失戀痛苦幾百萬倍。
18、平等公正的對待你和他的愛情，腳踩多隻船終會翻掉。
19、林黛玉無法生存，常常去運動，有時間去學瑜伽或者跆拳道，可以防身。
20、把看韓劇的時間用在自我保養上，做面膜，有條件就去泡溫泉，汗蒸，SPA。不要熬
夜，有條件請午睡。偶爾喝些紅酒，能不抽煙就別抽煙——幾年後會讓你看上去比你的
同齡朋友老好幾歲，雖然有的女人抽煙時很迷人。
21、任何場合，應該保持應有的涵養。能不和人爭吵，盡量別吵，憤怒之前心裏數到20再說
話。
22、微笑不花錢，在不同場合展現出你的不同笑容。不要對衣著過時樣貌平平的人滿臉傲
氣。
23、經常學習新事物，插花、茶道、繪畫、滑雪、潛水、烹飪……都可以，應該有自己的興
趣並從中獲得快樂。
24、優秀的男人固然值得珍惜，如果是掛上已婚的標籤，看看然後離開，記住這不是你能消
費的起的。
25、小氣的男人不能要，一買單就臉色突變，AA制好了，誰都不差錢！也別愛上太“懷才不
遇”的男人，中國人太多，人才也不少。
26、不犯賤，對任何人。恨一個人不需要理由，就像愛和不愛一個人都不需要理由一樣，所
以永遠不要為了一個不愛你的男人流眼淚，永遠不要問分手的男人“你為什麼不愛我”之
類的話，恨他好了。
27、失戀時別用酒精麻醉自己，跑步吧，或者練練跆拳道、鋼管舞什麼的——健身房有的是
帥哥。愛情不是最重要的事情，’有情飲水飽’是騙人的，很明顯。
28、別人對你好不是義務，知恩圖報。51%和49%是給別人和自己的黃金分割比例。
Thursday, March 28, 2013
自個兒？？ #No L.M.A. please~
I always tell myself not to judge people by the book cover.
I really don't like your "everyone is the same"...
Honestly, it's hurt my feeling...
I thought your were different because you knew how it's feel...
But it's seem that...
I never thought off, not even once that, that particular phase will come out from your mouth.
Honestly, i'm kind of disappointed.
The moral of the story is..
Don't speak when your mood is ruined.
Words that came out from your mouth might hurt others as well.
I don't mind to be your listener.
I asked because I care...
I treated you as someone which much more than just being a stranger friend.
A friend that I appreciated.
Don't ever asked me to leave you alone.
I really hate to hear that.
Because when ever somebody tell me that, I found myself not been trusted as how I trusted you.
Friendship...
what's make friendship??
Aren't friendship not your fundamental??
When did you start to believe it??
It's just enough to have Cow and Darren to be in your best friend's list.
BFF.
ahhhhhh~ it's just so contradicting...
Great one~ you ruined my mood. :(
I really don't like your "everyone is the same"...
Honestly, it's hurt my feeling...
I thought your were different because you knew how it's feel...
But it's seem that...
I never thought off, not even once that, that particular phase will come out from your mouth.
Honestly, i'm kind of disappointed.
The moral of the story is..
Don't speak when your mood is ruined.
Words that came out from your mouth might hurt others as well.
I don't mind to be your listener.
I asked because I care...
I treated you as someone which much more than just being a stranger friend.
A friend that I appreciated.
Don't ever asked me to leave you alone.
I really hate to hear that.
Because when ever somebody tell me that, I found myself not been trusted as how I trusted you.
Friendship...
what's make friendship??
Aren't friendship not your fundamental??
When did you start to believe it??
It's just enough to have Cow and Darren to be in your best friend's list.
BFF.
ahhhhhh~ it's just so contradicting...
Great one~ you ruined my mood. :(
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
冰沙の記憶。當 “新歡” 遇見了 “舊愛” #the Snow。when miracles happened
我毕业了哦~~
他好像没有在我脑子里好一段时间了~ O(∩_∩)O哈哈~
遇见他时，好像没有了心跳加速的感觉。。感觉就像。。。很普通很普通的心跳。
但是，我还是希望他会幸福快乐。。心想事成。
今天，我只个儿去了夜市一趟。
回的途中~脑子里呈现了一段感想。
在这人海茫茫当中，就像白安的那首歌。。。
我是宇宙间的尘埃。。。
一个人的力量真的是微不足道。。。
人。。不会因为出生寒酸而可悲。
人。。不会因为生活辛酸而可悲。
人。。更不会因为身体残障而可悲。
人。。最可悲的是对于事物的冷漠。
你是否尝试过站在一段热闹的夜市，站在那原地不动。。。
看着人来人往，有的随你而去，有的随你而来。。
当你闭上眼睛，听见。。夜市里的吵闹声。。减价声。。
我发现自己真的无比的渺小，这世界的冷漠真的很可悲，显得有点说不出的可怜。
因为，当你这样做时，这世界给予的眼光不是关怀，更不是情切，而是你在干嘛？她是不是神经的？所谓好狗不挡路。
其实，这感想也得谢谢路边的失去左脚的乞丐。
当乞丐在另一端乞求人们的施舍时，人都会走向另一端，抱着一种心态：能免则免。
我并不觉得我是善良的，我是大方的，我是一个富有爱心的，其实，我也会像他人一样。。能免则免。
当我遇见他时，我也像平常的路人般，冷漠他。
但是。。。我被他的眼神吸引着了。
心里很纠结，我放慢了我的脚步，从口袋里掏了一零吉，给了他。
其实当时，第一句话划过我的脑子就是：他是不是骗子与你有何关系？虽说一零吉，如果是真的，多多少少也能帮助啊~给他吧~
一路来回，我总共遇见3为乞丐，但我只给了一位。。。因为另外那两位对我而言，他们是有能力工作的。所以我忽略了而另外两个。
但是。。。我感觉自己好像很坏，很矛盾，好像在推翻自己刹那间划过的想法。
就因为这样，我才感觉人的冷漠真的很可悲。。。
今天的感觉，有点像当 “新欢” 遇见了 “旧爱”。
意味着，当新概念遮盖了陈旧的思念。
他好像没有在我脑子里好一段时间了~ O(∩_∩)O哈哈~
遇见他时，好像没有了心跳加速的感觉。。感觉就像。。。很普通很普通的心跳。
但是，我还是希望他会幸福快乐。。心想事成。
今天，我只个儿去了夜市一趟。
回的途中~脑子里呈现了一段感想。
在这人海茫茫当中，就像白安的那首歌。。。
我是宇宙间的尘埃。。。
一个人的力量真的是微不足道。。。
人。。不会因为出生寒酸而可悲。
人。。不会因为生活辛酸而可悲。
人。。更不会因为身体残障而可悲。
人。。最可悲的是对于事物的冷漠。
你是否尝试过站在一段热闹的夜市，站在那原地不动。。。
看着人来人往，有的随你而去，有的随你而来。。
当你闭上眼睛，听见。。夜市里的吵闹声。。减价声。。
我发现自己真的无比的渺小，这世界的冷漠真的很可悲，显得有点说不出的可怜。
因为，当你这样做时，这世界给予的眼光不是关怀，更不是情切，而是你在干嘛？她是不是神经的？所谓好狗不挡路。
其实，这感想也得谢谢路边的失去左脚的乞丐。
当乞丐在另一端乞求人们的施舍时，人都会走向另一端，抱着一种心态：能免则免。
我并不觉得我是善良的，我是大方的，我是一个富有爱心的，其实，我也会像他人一样。。能免则免。
当我遇见他时，我也像平常的路人般，冷漠他。
但是。。。我被他的眼神吸引着了。
心里很纠结，我放慢了我的脚步，从口袋里掏了一零吉，给了他。
其实当时，第一句话划过我的脑子就是：他是不是骗子与你有何关系？虽说一零吉，如果是真的，多多少少也能帮助啊~给他吧~
一路来回，我总共遇见3为乞丐，但我只给了一位。。。因为另外那两位对我而言，他们是有能力工作的。所以我忽略了而另外两个。
但是。。。我感觉自己好像很坏，很矛盾，好像在推翻自己刹那间划过的想法。
就因为这样，我才感觉人的冷漠真的很可悲。。。
今天的感觉，有点像当 “新欢” 遇见了 “旧爱”。
意味着，当新概念遮盖了陈旧的思念。
Monday, February 18, 2013
冰沙の記憶· 四 #the snow·four
At last...my Chinese New Year ended and I was sick. Great one!
But...through this, I realized that my parents were the greatest peoples in the world. :)
My daddy gave his only lychee from the tree which planted at our garden, to me when I am studying. :)
and my lovely mumi prepared all this food for me to bring back to PJ. (^.^) and she helped me to cut those "ba gua" into smaller pieces and filled them in into a container so that it is easy for me to eat.
They are so lovely~ :) I 'm felt that i'm the luckiest girl in the world. :)
I LOVE YOU BOTH VERY VERY MUCH! :) muakkkksssss~
I will study hard and make you guys proud of me~ I promised! :)
Somehow, he is still "floating" in my mind.
I don't know why I found it hard to forget him.
I know we are impossible but the bond between us is difficult to break. :/
He will automatically "float" into my mind when I 'm having my day dream.
*xiu xiu xiu*
I don't want you, get out of my mind please!
If..it is possible~ I wish that I could put a no entry sign on my head. :/
But...through this, I realized that my parents were the greatest peoples in the world. :)
My daddy gave his only lychee from the tree which planted at our garden, to me when I am studying. :)
and my lovely mumi prepared all this food for me to bring back to PJ. (^.^) and she helped me to cut those "ba gua" into smaller pieces and filled them in into a container so that it is easy for me to eat.
They are so lovely~ :) I 'm felt that i'm the luckiest girl in the world. :)
I LOVE YOU BOTH VERY VERY MUCH! :) muakkkksssss~
I will study hard and make you guys proud of me~ I promised! :)
Somehow, he is still "floating" in my mind.
I don't know why I found it hard to forget him.
I know we are impossible but the bond between us is difficult to break. :/
He will automatically "float" into my mind when I 'm having my day dream.
*xiu xiu xiu*
I don't want you, get out of my mind please!
If..it is possible~ I wish that I could put a no entry sign on my head. :/
Saturday, February 9, 2013
冰沙の記憶· 叁 #the snow·three
Isn't it great when all those sadness... unhappy stuffs can be mop off just like when we are mopping the dirty floor...
冰沙の記憶·貳 #the snow·two
I'm really an idiot for the pass~
Now this made sense..
This is totally ridiculous~
I really found myself like a clown for the pass.
Why am I that stupid!
I'm an idiot!
I'm felt so awkward when Z told me that actually he knew everything and every single of our conversation.
I was like what!?!?
Obviously, this show how stupid am I!
I really feel like digging a hole and bury myself in it.
For the pass, I always thought that I know a lot things.
I have gone through a lot of....things that I actually thought that I am mature enough in my thinking.
Eventually, I am not!
I am not that ready yet to step into this society.
I am not that ready yet to step into this reality.
My God!
What the hell is going on!
hahaha~
I'm so funny~ :(
Out of sudden, I felt this world...really scary~
KL was a place that much more complicated that I thought.
Everyone is so faked!
Untrustable~
Today, I have my dinner with friends which one of them was him~
I actually wanted to look at him, directly...but I failed to do so..
I really wanted to know, what is actually in his mind and his heart.
I really wants to know, who is he?
He looks like a stranger to me right now.
A stranger that I thought I knew who was he but eventually, I know nothing about him~
I actually fell in love into a stranger??
Seriously..this is insane!!
Love is blind??
Is it an excuse, so that everyone can escaped from the topic of being an idiot?
This is ridiculous~ Seriously, it is!
Honestly, I really wanted to look at him and use my heart to feel...
To feel, who is he actually? what is his power to make me felt to him?
But I failed to do that~
I felt awkward~ I have done too many idiot stuffs eventually, I don't feel like facing it anymore.
Every time, every moment that flashed back what I had done, I felt like an idiot!
I asked myself, every time~ "why am I doing that kind of things? What am I thinking?"
Somehow, each time...the answer is still the same~ "I don't know"
Funny right?
I found myself like an idiot, like a crown...entertained him and hurt myself more~
I really hate myself right now~
Yesterday...he went for the dodgeball training...
and I found it so awkward~
You know~ The first thing which flew into my mind was~ "Why is he appeared in this court? Searching for another target?"
My God!
His reputation kind of ruining?
I meant, for me~
But I believed, time is everything~
What doesn't kill you make you stronger~
I guess~
hmmmm~ actually..I should be thankful~
Really thank you for everything that he had done!
Eventually, he taught me a lot of things which can't find in the book~
Thank you :)
You made me growth~
So that I'm no longer that naive~
Somehow~
Why? Why? Why?
Dear Diary...
Please tell me~ Why human being must be that fake??
Why must they be so dramatic?
I can't get it...
I really hate those~
Booooo~
However :)
Thank you Diary.
Thank you for being a good mate.
I feel...hmmmm~ feeling better~ hahaha
Honestly, dear Diary..you are the only one that I can speak the truth~
The only only one who I really can speak "loudly" without hurting anyone feeling~
Thank you for being such a good mate :)
*grateful* :)
Now this made sense..
This is totally ridiculous~
I really found myself like a clown for the pass.
Why am I that stupid!
I'm an idiot!
I'm felt so awkward when Z told me that actually he knew everything and every single of our conversation.
I was like what!?!?
Obviously, this show how stupid am I!
I really feel like digging a hole and bury myself in it.
For the pass, I always thought that I know a lot things.
I have gone through a lot of....things that I actually thought that I am mature enough in my thinking.
Eventually, I am not!
I am not that ready yet to step into this society.
I am not that ready yet to step into this reality.
My God!
What the hell is going on!
hahaha~
I'm so funny~ :(
Out of sudden, I felt this world...really scary~
KL was a place that much more complicated that I thought.
Everyone is so faked!
Untrustable~
Today, I have my dinner with friends which one of them was him~
I actually wanted to look at him, directly...but I failed to do so..
I really wanted to know, what is actually in his mind and his heart.
I really wants to know, who is he?
He looks like a stranger to me right now.
A stranger that I thought I knew who was he but eventually, I know nothing about him~
I actually fell in love into a stranger??
Seriously..this is insane!!
Love is blind??
Is it an excuse, so that everyone can escaped from the topic of being an idiot?
This is ridiculous~ Seriously, it is!
Honestly, I really wanted to look at him and use my heart to feel...
To feel, who is he actually? what is his power to make me felt to him?
But I failed to do that~
I felt awkward~ I have done too many idiot stuffs eventually, I don't feel like facing it anymore.
Every time, every moment that flashed back what I had done, I felt like an idiot!
I asked myself, every time~ "why am I doing that kind of things? What am I thinking?"
Somehow, each time...the answer is still the same~ "I don't know"
Funny right?
I found myself like an idiot, like a crown...entertained him and hurt myself more~
I really hate myself right now~
Yesterday...he went for the dodgeball training...
and I found it so awkward~
You know~ The first thing which flew into my mind was~ "Why is he appeared in this court? Searching for another target?"
My God!
His reputation kind of ruining?
I meant, for me~
But I believed, time is everything~
What doesn't kill you make you stronger~
I guess~
hmmmm~ actually..I should be thankful~
Really thank you for everything that he had done!
Eventually, he taught me a lot of things which can't find in the book~
Thank you :)
You made me growth~
So that I'm no longer that naive~
Somehow~
Why? Why? Why?
Dear Diary...
Please tell me~ Why human being must be that fake??
Why must they be so dramatic?
I can't get it...
I really hate those~
Booooo~
However :)
Thank you Diary.
Thank you for being a good mate.
I feel...hmmmm~ feeling better~ hahaha
Honestly, dear Diary..you are the only one that I can speak the truth~
The only only one who I really can speak "loudly" without hurting anyone feeling~
Thank you for being such a good mate :)
*grateful* :)
Monday, February 4, 2013
冰沙の記憶·壹 #the snow
I guess~
I should give a try on this method.
Write down, state down what ever that I have done for the day including the moment that I thought of you.
Basically, today... I skipped the Contract class just because for a test that I am worried about. I skipped the class and hide inside the library. Funny joke~ Why am I that useless??
Such a coward! *ironically laugh*
When I was in the library doing my revision for Contract, I sound my ears with one of my favorite song, "Bitter Sweet" and I thought of you.
In that moment, I felt like an useless.
I felt so gloomy out of a sudden~ and feel like crying..
The second time was when I saw a friend..
Who named Geetha~ she was an Indian.
and what I found it interesting was..
She is exactly doing what ever things that I have done.
She is exactly on the path that I had been before.
She was fall to a guy named Patrick, but of cause..mine was not Patrick.
However, this was not the main point. The main point was, their relationship was like our relationship.
The only different was, they are Indian and we are Chinese.
Somehow, I hoped that yours was a happy ending as mine was...not a sad ending..hmmm~ kind of..not a good ending??
ahhhh~ screwed it! Whatever!
I told Farah that, what ever that I had been go through.
That's why...
I am totally understand what was that feeling.
I am totally understand how Geetha felt about it.
Me, who was a freaking idiot told almost everything about myself to him which similar to things that Geetha had done right now.
It is totally like, she is walking on the path, my previous path that I had gone through.
So silly..
I guess he is laughing when I told him about myself. May be he will think that I'm that fake, who are trying to search for sympathy from him? Who knows.. Right?
Anyway~
I'm kind of agreed with the statement that Farah had made.
"Girls shouldn't make the first move because it always made girls look stupid and desperate."
True~ fair enough.
I'm the sample. That freaking idiot.
I felt like...not me...
When I was alone, things just flied over... memories just flashed over...
I felt like, I am an useless fella..
as what Chinese used to say:"窝囊"
Day by day, what can made me feel better was this quote:
"Sometimes, our "problem" seen to be as big as the shadows...but actually they are little."
As I always do...*pat my heart and take a deep breath*
tell myself that: everything is going to be so fine..Gambatteh!"
I named this post as 冰沙の記憶 #the snow
Just like snow...
You can't keep snow as it will melt.
Once it is melted, what lelf was the memories between you and the snow...
What was left was, the feeling between you and the snow...
You can't keep it, you can't see once winter is over.
Even though how desperate you are, it is over...
What left was the memories and the feeling between you and the snow, just like he and me.
I won't said that he cheated on me or he hurt my feeling.
Instead, I will consider that as I hurt myself as to be honest..he did not promise anything.
As I 'm the only freaking idiot who thought that everything is right.
Seriously~ I can even laugh at myself, how silly am I!
"Bitter sweet" was one of my favorite song as it was my memories..
Honestly, I'm thankful~
Instead of hate you, I prefer to say thank you.
Thank you for creating memories with me..
I'm silly..I know..but at least there are some memories that worthy.
I like the most was when we are skating on ice.
Even though, I don't really know how to skate, or don't even know how to skate..
but~ that was my first time of playing it after so many years of living in this earth which might be gone in one day.
At least~ when I was thankful~
I feel better even though I am an idiot~
I know I'm contradicting myself.
But this is how I felt...right now..
Honestly~ Gambatteh!
As I love to say, when Malaysia Boleh! I pun boleh!
It just a matter of time~
加油！ ↖(^ω^)↗
I should give a try on this method.
Write down, state down what ever that I have done for the day including the moment that I thought of you.
Basically, today... I skipped the Contract class just because for a test that I am worried about. I skipped the class and hide inside the library. Funny joke~ Why am I that useless??
Such a coward! *ironically laugh*
When I was in the library doing my revision for Contract, I sound my ears with one of my favorite song, "Bitter Sweet" and I thought of you.
In that moment, I felt like an useless.
I felt so gloomy out of a sudden~ and feel like crying..
The second time was when I saw a friend..
Who named Geetha~ she was an Indian.
and what I found it interesting was..
She is exactly doing what ever things that I have done.
She is exactly on the path that I had been before.
She was fall to a guy named Patrick, but of cause..mine was not Patrick.
However, this was not the main point. The main point was, their relationship was like our relationship.
The only different was, they are Indian and we are Chinese.
Somehow, I hoped that yours was a happy ending as mine was...not a sad ending..hmmm~ kind of..not a good ending??
ahhhh~ screwed it! Whatever!
I told Farah that, what ever that I had been go through.
That's why...
I am totally understand what was that feeling.
I am totally understand how Geetha felt about it.
Me, who was a freaking idiot told almost everything about myself to him which similar to things that Geetha had done right now.
It is totally like, she is walking on the path, my previous path that I had gone through.
So silly..
I guess he is laughing when I told him about myself. May be he will think that I'm that fake, who are trying to search for sympathy from him? Who knows.. Right?
Anyway~
I'm kind of agreed with the statement that Farah had made.
"Girls shouldn't make the first move because it always made girls look stupid and desperate."
True~ fair enough.
I'm the sample. That freaking idiot.
I felt like...not me...
When I was alone, things just flied over... memories just flashed over...
I felt like, I am an useless fella..
as what Chinese used to say:"窝囊"
Day by day, what can made me feel better was this quote:
"Sometimes, our "problem" seen to be as big as the shadows...but actually they are little."
As I always do...*pat my heart and take a deep breath*
tell myself that: everything is going to be so fine..Gambatteh!"
I named this post as 冰沙の記憶 #the snow
Just like snow...
You can't keep snow as it will melt.
Once it is melted, what lelf was the memories between you and the snow...
What was left was, the feeling between you and the snow...
You can't keep it, you can't see once winter is over.
Even though how desperate you are, it is over...
What left was the memories and the feeling between you and the snow, just like he and me.
I won't said that he cheated on me or he hurt my feeling.
Instead, I will consider that as I hurt myself as to be honest..he did not promise anything.
As I 'm the only freaking idiot who thought that everything is right.
Seriously~ I can even laugh at myself, how silly am I!
"Bitter sweet" was one of my favorite song as it was my memories..
Honestly, I'm thankful~
Instead of hate you, I prefer to say thank you.
Thank you for creating memories with me..
I'm silly..I know..but at least there are some memories that worthy.
I like the most was when we are skating on ice.
Even though, I don't really know how to skate, or don't even know how to skate..
but~ that was my first time of playing it after so many years of living in this earth which might be gone in one day.
At least~ when I was thankful~
I feel better even though I am an idiot~
I know I'm contradicting myself.
But this is how I felt...right now..
Honestly~ Gambatteh!
As I love to say, when Malaysia Boleh! I pun boleh!
It just a matter of time~
加油！ ↖(^ω^)↗
Thursday, January 31, 2013
自殺 #commit suicide
很久很久都沒用華語了~
今天的我，似乎領悟前所未能領悟到的道理。
有史以來，我一直都認為“自殺”的行為，是一種非常愚蠢，是一種不能被接受的行為。
但經過一番的談話，似乎不能抹殺他們“沒理智”的行為，更不能抹殺他們的道理。
在這世界上 ，人。。真的太多種類了。
家庭，環境，種種的困難似乎不再人類的掌握中。
種種的理由讓某些人的生活在極大的壓力中，侮辱中，暴力中，無能中，無奈中等等，都讓人似乎無法呼吸，喘不過，透不過來。
漸漸地，“自殺”的念頭從中飄過，引誘著，既向他們拍手叫好，贊同如此做法是一種釋放，是一種釋懷。
一旦，失去了鑒定，失去了意義，失去了堅持，失去了精神等等。。就會投入不歸之旅，像我一位朋友所說的“長睡”。 因為他們累了~不想再戰鬥下去了。
所以，那番談話讓我的思想有所改變，我們不應說，“自殺”是一種愚蠢，但是能歸類它為人們對生活失去堅信與堅定的做法。因為我們不知道他們的過去，他們所需面對的壓力，所需面對的。。。往往似乎都不是我們所臆想到的。
我們往往會信口開河說“自殺”是一種愚蠢，因為我們不成經歷過。
某些事情某些事物，不曾套入我們的生活中。他們痛苦的經歷與我們相比，似乎有所一大截的距離。
我似乎有所領悟，但似乎有所矛盾。
打個比方，即使讓你結束了，成功“長睡”，事情真的有所改變嗎？
事情會變得美好嗎？
世界少了你，會讓所有事情變得更美好嗎？
你家人會因此而快樂嗎？
我記得你曾經告訴我，當你被人幹掉時，當某人的因素導致你入院，只要你還有一口氣，并拜託任何人的一通電話，你父母就會知道如何包辦。
從中，你說。。。其實你父母還是疼你的。
如果，你說即使你自殺，他們都毫無反對，毫無感覺。。
句子似乎有所前後矛盾。
天下的父母都是一樣，所謂虎不食犬，十月懷胎，你認為他們真的沒感覺嗎？？
我承認，我是來自不富裕但還算不錯，至少我吃得飽，穿得暖。
當你九歲時，你就開始出來社會，開始你第一份工作，開始你第一份工錢。
而我，我的九歲 還樂在其中，即使從中出現被出賣的感覺，讓我有所體會，有所領悟，但至少我學習了，並可說我是幸福的。
你的過去，讓我堅定我是幸福的。
你的過去，讓我有所領悟。。原來我過去的生活，不是最糟糕的。
當你提起你的過去，我只能一笑帶過，因為。。我不知道，我應給予哪種反應。因為我不是過來人。
但我還是堅持，死，不是一切。
“自殺”是一種自私的行為。
不是所有的東西，都是死了一了百了的原則。
對！絕對真確，死能解百惑，能解百愁。
只有死，你才能得到釋懷，釋放。。
但，你知道嗎？當你得到解脫時，當你拍拍屁股一溜時，你留下了永恆不負責任的攤子，給了你的父母，給了你的家人。
你有曾想過，他們會因此而內疚？
你說，你家一直都被人看不起，但你死後，你家人不是更糟糕嗎？
我是幸福的~ 我更希望我身邊的每一個人，都是幸福的。
我願意與你分享我那不起眼的幸福~我只希望你不要如此消愁，不要處處蹦向壞處，並且對生活失去堅信，堅持。
雨後，總會出現彩虹。
更像夕陽，他的出現，他的光芒四射，即使天空再黑，總會天亮，代表著希望處處都是，就在於你對他的那有所的觀念，那有所的堅定，那有所得堅持。
我不確定我是否能改變你的思想。
但是我衷心希望你是幸福的，你可以成功再挨過令一個二十年。
朋友，加油吧！
:)
今天的我，似乎領悟前所未能領悟到的道理。
有史以來，我一直都認為“自殺”的行為，是一種非常愚蠢，是一種不能被接受的行為。
但經過一番的談話，似乎不能抹殺他們“沒理智”的行為，更不能抹殺他們的道理。
在這世界上 ，人。。真的太多種類了。
家庭，環境，種種的困難似乎不再人類的掌握中。
種種的理由讓某些人的生活在極大的壓力中，侮辱中，暴力中，無能中，無奈中等等，都讓人似乎無法呼吸，喘不過，透不過來。
漸漸地，“自殺”的念頭從中飄過，引誘著，既向他們拍手叫好，贊同如此做法是一種釋放，是一種釋懷。
一旦，失去了鑒定，失去了意義，失去了堅持，失去了精神等等。。就會投入不歸之旅，像我一位朋友所說的“長睡”。 因為他們累了~不想再戰鬥下去了。
所以，那番談話讓我的思想有所改變，我們不應說，“自殺”是一種愚蠢，但是能歸類它為人們對生活失去堅信與堅定的做法。因為我們不知道他們的過去，他們所需面對的壓力，所需面對的。。。往往似乎都不是我們所臆想到的。
我們往往會信口開河說“自殺”是一種愚蠢，因為我們不成經歷過。
某些事情某些事物，不曾套入我們的生活中。他們痛苦的經歷與我們相比，似乎有所一大截的距離。
我似乎有所領悟，但似乎有所矛盾。
打個比方，即使讓你結束了，成功“長睡”，事情真的有所改變嗎？
事情會變得美好嗎？
世界少了你，會讓所有事情變得更美好嗎？
你家人會因此而快樂嗎？
我記得你曾經告訴我，當你被人幹掉時，當某人的因素導致你入院，只要你還有一口氣，并拜託任何人的一通電話，你父母就會知道如何包辦。
從中，你說。。。其實你父母還是疼你的。
如果，你說即使你自殺，他們都毫無反對，毫無感覺。。
句子似乎有所前後矛盾。
天下的父母都是一樣，所謂虎不食犬，十月懷胎，你認為他們真的沒感覺嗎？？
我承認，我是來自不富裕但還算不錯，至少我吃得飽，穿得暖。
當你九歲時，你就開始出來社會，開始你第一份工作，開始你第一份工錢。
而我，我的九歲 還樂在其中，即使從中出現被出賣的感覺，讓我有所體會，有所領悟，但至少我學習了，並可說我是幸福的。
你的過去，讓我堅定我是幸福的。
你的過去，讓我有所領悟。。原來我過去的生活，不是最糟糕的。
當你提起你的過去，我只能一笑帶過，因為。。我不知道，我應給予哪種反應。因為我不是過來人。
但我還是堅持，死，不是一切。
“自殺”是一種自私的行為。
不是所有的東西，都是死了一了百了的原則。
對！絕對真確，死能解百惑，能解百愁。
只有死，你才能得到釋懷，釋放。。
但，你知道嗎？當你得到解脫時，當你拍拍屁股一溜時，你留下了永恆不負責任的攤子，給了你的父母，給了你的家人。
你有曾想過，他們會因此而內疚？
你說，你家一直都被人看不起，但你死後，你家人不是更糟糕嗎？
我是幸福的~ 我更希望我身邊的每一個人，都是幸福的。
我願意與你分享我那不起眼的幸福~我只希望你不要如此消愁，不要處處蹦向壞處，並且對生活失去堅信，堅持。
雨後，總會出現彩虹。
更像夕陽，他的出現，他的光芒四射，即使天空再黑，總會天亮，代表著希望處處都是，就在於你對他的那有所的觀念，那有所的堅定，那有所得堅持。
我不確定我是否能改變你的思想。
但是我衷心希望你是幸福的，你可以成功再挨過令一個二十年。
朋友，加油吧！
:)
Friday, January 18, 2013
#dieting...
I meant her body shape! *laugh*
She was hot and sexy! weeeeeeeeee~
Sheryi GAMBATTEH!!!!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
#smile :)
Through this picture..I realized..
no matter how sad you are..keep it to yourself :) no one will care about it even though they said they care.
Don't be too naive, is time for you to grow....stay strong sheryi....
Treat yourself well was the most important move. Just like the sun rise and the sun set...does anyone care about the sun?? Even though, the sun is still doing the same thing for each of the day, the earth is still rotating along the orbit.
So why don't we just learn from the sun and smile like a sun..as what we used to say: sunshine!!
I believed there are always a rainbow waiting at the end after the rains stop~
after crying~ stand up and wipe off all the tears and tell yourself:
Even though you are sad, just try your best to draw a big smile on your face and say Hi to a new day...
Even though you are sad, just try your best to spread your happiness to others, let the sadness end right here and right now, a fullstops at the sentence of the sadness.
Be grateful for being still alive. :)
Pray for everyone and pray for him :)
Wish everyone best of luck!! *thumbs up* :)
Wish he will be happy and best of luck in his chef's journey...
Jesus always at your side *pat pat* HUNGRY CHEF. LOL
hmmmm~ Friends forever :) LOL
yup yup yup~ sheryi is a happy girl. *I'm charging!* hahaha XD
*deep breath* hmmmmm~ a new day!!! ^^Y
Saturday, January 12, 2013
#memory
I guess I know what was the answer~
haiz~
my God!
My heart is pain...yea~ that's right...let me gg.com for once short...
haiz~
Today I went to Nandos with my classmates after the Human Rights class.
I ordered 1/3 of chicken with honey and herb sauce. My sides was grilled vegetables and chips.
This made me flashed back when I was with him. This time my grilled vegetables do not have any mushrooms. :( I remembered he will give his mushroom to me and I will surely asked him why you don't want to eat and he always tell me that because I like to eat.
This was different now~ :) he was not there...and Yande asked me "are you dated with someone?"
I was stunned for that moment.."am i??" but lastly I answered "no"
I don't know~ I guess he will think that I'm psycho~ who wants to date with a psycho fella??
Ridiculous right? sheryi is such a ridiculous fella. haiz~
I supposed to be in Sabah~ if wasn't this, if wasn't dodge ball...I won't knew him. and i won't screwed things up...what am I suppose to do?
Sheryi stay strong~ stay strong~
*pat pat* everything is going to be so fine...everything is going to be so fine...
haiz~
my God!
My heart is pain...yea~ that's right...let me gg.com for once short...
haiz~
Today I went to Nandos with my classmates after the Human Rights class.
I ordered 1/3 of chicken with honey and herb sauce. My sides was grilled vegetables and chips.
This made me flashed back when I was with him. This time my grilled vegetables do not have any mushrooms. :( I remembered he will give his mushroom to me and I will surely asked him why you don't want to eat and he always tell me that because I like to eat.
This was different now~ :) he was not there...and Yande asked me "are you dated with someone?"
I was stunned for that moment.."am i??" but lastly I answered "no"
I don't know~ I guess he will think that I'm psycho~ who wants to date with a psycho fella??
Ridiculous right? sheryi is such a ridiculous fella. haiz~
I supposed to be in Sabah~ if wasn't this, if wasn't dodge ball...I won't knew him. and i won't screwed things up...what am I suppose to do?
Sheryi stay strong~ stay strong~
*pat pat* everything is going to be so fine...everything is going to be so fine...
Thursday, January 10, 2013
#Last strike :(
A gloomy day~
Today was the worst day ever....
Why am I trying to tell him?? It was like too much man!!! My God!
I guess after today...we will forever lost contact.... :(
Basically I told him how I felt. Why am I so stupid!!! :(
Honestly no jokes and I guess I no longer need to hide or deny.
Yes true! I like YOU. Falling to you was the stupidest thing I ever done, the awkward moment and the rebellious act.
That was because falling to you is the stupidest thing I ever done as through out my history...
If it was last time...I won't tell you and don't even hope that I will write anything about my feeling because I don't hope that I will lost someone that I like but loosing him as a friend. At least rational is still with me...but somehow, falling to you it seem that my rational no longer with me and getting much more stupid. I tell myself not to care more but eventually I care much more than last time.
The awkward moments was I don't know why...I just like the feeling when you are beside me, I like the feeling that you hugs me..I just like the feeling when you are with me even though I heard a lots of your past, even though you smoke, even though you sisha. I don't know... I remembered someone told me, you should find a partner which can made you to be a better person. I don't know..I always with the feeling of standing in the middle of the crossing road because I don't know will there be someone that I wish to waiting for me on the other end of the road if I cross it or everything is just a fairy tales which I always tend that fairy tales bring disappointment. This is why I feel awkward. Besides, another awkward moment was when you know about my past. and I guess you will think that I'm actually creating stories to get empathy or sympathy..eventually you might be laughing right now..that's why I don't tell about myself to anyone, I rather keep it as a secret but I don't know why am I telling you most of it...I don't need empathy or sympathy...
Rebellious..that was because my parents totally don't agree that I'm in relationship when I'm still study, and I'm should be the girl who always listen to my parents as usual. Somehow, I found out that I no longer listening as I hope that at least something that I can make out of my own decision and eventually lots of people think that we don't suit each other as I'm not your type and asked me to let go..get rid of it...but I don't know..
I was like an idiot sound like peace but don't seem like peace in mind. Tend to tell that I don't care but i care much more that last time. Hope that you will know what I'm thinking eventually I 'm the one who lost my own self.
You said I stabbed you in your heart...really?? Haiz...I didn't hear anything from you eventually I'm the one who speak much more than you do. Do you really care about what we going to be? I am always ask myself and telling myself..this must be the last time and it shouldn't be happening again...no more care about it..no more tears and peace in my mind. :(
I guess you won't reply my messages and i guess after today we will just end like that and you will be my history.
I guess that will be my last time to express myself before I get back into my own boxes, my own reality...as is you lead me out of it, is you let me wish that you can be my side when I'm sick or when I felt darkness. you was the one of the reason that I rejected another him. That day, actually I hope that you will asked me to reject him, eventually the funniest thing was you asked me to be with him if I'm comfortable with it. You encourage me.. Honestly, I'm sad towards that answer that you gave. Do you know that I felt much more comfortable when I was with you and when you was by my side? Eventually I hope that you will asked me to stay with you but you didn't....I guess I should really move off. Even though we don't speak much when we are together but I love the moment when only left me and you. I'm a noob. I'm really a noob and an idiot. Just give me some time...I will move off from your life and I will no longer message you.
I told you that my heart is in ICU and gasping for air...eventually I'm struggling. I don't know what I have done is a right or a wrong like now.. Eventually I remember you said sometimes peoples are single and unavailable is just because they don't hope to get involve...I guess you are telling that we are impossible. I respect that...You have nothing to be sorry...If really wanna say sorry I guess I should be one...Sorry for disturbing you...I always knew that I won't be that lucky. The case with Gregory and now..you... I should know that and I should knew it from the very beginning that love always don't belong to me. Primary, secondary and now..Love always scared of me...it's sound like I don't deserve it. haha~ :(
I don't know...I wish you luck, my good mate...I only hope that you will happy.
I don't meant to make your life miserable or hard...as I don't hope to be another Christine...
But I hope that we will still..remained friendship forever?? a good mate, friend???
What ever it is...I'm tired...
I believed that I m still not that stupid until don't know what is happening as I'm not that thick face fella...and I don't think that I can be that strong forever.. so yea~
one short let me gg.com, I guess that will be a greatest choice...
I guess no one is perfect...but though, it is incredible how a person enters your life and changes your perspective on the present and even future! thank you...
Appreciate things that you have done. Wish you luck~ *from my bottom of my heart*
I guess I'm the stupidest person you ever met...are you laughing at me?? Even though I, myself started to laugh at myself...Scolding myself...stupid sheryi stupid sheryi...
Today was the worst day ever....
Why am I trying to tell him?? It was like too much man!!! My God!
I guess after today...we will forever lost contact.... :(
Basically I told him how I felt. Why am I so stupid!!! :(
Honestly no jokes and I guess I no longer need to hide or deny.
Yes true! I like YOU. Falling to you was the stupidest thing I ever done, the awkward moment and the rebellious act.
That was because falling to you is the stupidest thing I ever done as through out my history...
If it was last time...I won't tell you and don't even hope that I will write anything about my feeling because I don't hope that I will lost someone that I like but loosing him as a friend. At least rational is still with me...but somehow, falling to you it seem that my rational no longer with me and getting much more stupid. I tell myself not to care more but eventually I care much more than last time.
The awkward moments was I don't know why...I just like the feeling when you are beside me, I like the feeling that you hugs me..I just like the feeling when you are with me even though I heard a lots of your past, even though you smoke, even though you sisha. I don't know... I remembered someone told me, you should find a partner which can made you to be a better person. I don't know..I always with the feeling of standing in the middle of the crossing road because I don't know will there be someone that I wish to waiting for me on the other end of the road if I cross it or everything is just a fairy tales which I always tend that fairy tales bring disappointment. This is why I feel awkward. Besides, another awkward moment was when you know about my past. and I guess you will think that I'm actually creating stories to get empathy or sympathy..eventually you might be laughing right now..that's why I don't tell about myself to anyone, I rather keep it as a secret but I don't know why am I telling you most of it...I don't need empathy or sympathy...
Rebellious..that was because my parents totally don't agree that I'm in relationship when I'm still study, and I'm should be the girl who always listen to my parents as usual. Somehow, I found out that I no longer listening as I hope that at least something that I can make out of my own decision and eventually lots of people think that we don't suit each other as I'm not your type and asked me to let go..get rid of it...but I don't know..
I was like an idiot sound like peace but don't seem like peace in mind. Tend to tell that I don't care but i care much more that last time. Hope that you will know what I'm thinking eventually I 'm the one who lost my own self.
You said I stabbed you in your heart...really?? Haiz...I didn't hear anything from you eventually I'm the one who speak much more than you do. Do you really care about what we going to be? I am always ask myself and telling myself..this must be the last time and it shouldn't be happening again...no more care about it..no more tears and peace in my mind. :(
I guess you won't reply my messages and i guess after today we will just end like that and you will be my history.
I guess that will be my last time to express myself before I get back into my own boxes, my own reality...as is you lead me out of it, is you let me wish that you can be my side when I'm sick or when I felt darkness. you was the one of the reason that I rejected another him. That day, actually I hope that you will asked me to reject him, eventually the funniest thing was you asked me to be with him if I'm comfortable with it. You encourage me.. Honestly, I'm sad towards that answer that you gave. Do you know that I felt much more comfortable when I was with you and when you was by my side? Eventually I hope that you will asked me to stay with you but you didn't....I guess I should really move off. Even though we don't speak much when we are together but I love the moment when only left me and you. I'm a noob. I'm really a noob and an idiot. Just give me some time...I will move off from your life and I will no longer message you.
I told you that my heart is in ICU and gasping for air...eventually I'm struggling. I don't know what I have done is a right or a wrong like now.. Eventually I remember you said sometimes peoples are single and unavailable is just because they don't hope to get involve...I guess you are telling that we are impossible. I respect that...You have nothing to be sorry...If really wanna say sorry I guess I should be one...Sorry for disturbing you...I always knew that I won't be that lucky. The case with Gregory and now..you... I should know that and I should knew it from the very beginning that love always don't belong to me. Primary, secondary and now..Love always scared of me...it's sound like I don't deserve it. haha~ :(
I don't know...I wish you luck, my good mate...I only hope that you will happy.
I don't meant to make your life miserable or hard...as I don't hope to be another Christine...
But I hope that we will still..remained friendship forever?? a good mate, friend???
What ever it is...I'm tired...
I believed that I m still not that stupid until don't know what is happening as I'm not that thick face fella...and I don't think that I can be that strong forever.. so yea~
one short let me gg.com, I guess that will be a greatest choice...
I guess no one is perfect...but though, it is incredible how a person enters your life and changes your perspective on the present and even future! thank you...
Appreciate things that you have done. Wish you luck~ *from my bottom of my heart*
I guess I'm the stupidest person you ever met...are you laughing at me?? Even though I, myself started to laugh at myself...Scolding myself...stupid sheryi stupid sheryi...
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