#2012?? before it end!

Time passed just like a shooting star.
Really fast~
Today was the last day of the year of 2012.

Hmm~ this few weeks were busy weeks~
There was a Japanese girl named Natsuki Kamada stayed in my house as we are the host.
She is a cute girl, really cute especially with her long hair, demo she cut her hair short when she came to Malaysia as everyone know Malaysia was a terribly hot country.

Somehow, she was kind of choosy fella~ She don't really eat much and she don't really like to try new food. That was the part that my family got in trouble and headache about it the most.
Other than that~ was fine.

We went to Genting on the 26th of December and stayed over for one night.
In my opinion, it was a boring 2 days 1 night trip and I felt like wasting the RM 132 for the theme park. LOL~
Playing kiddo games~ was the day of my life which I can't forget~ LOL.
What a funny trip of all and it was only 3 of us~ boring~
Even though, it is boring...I do managed to observe various kind of cute and lovely stuff.
As what i remembered, was the daddy~ He was really cute and lovely. He was a great dad! Honestly, he don't mind being the kid's nanny by helping his daughter to carry a Hannah Montana's bag eventually I guess his daughter is around standard 5 or standard 6. What a lovely daddy, as I know daddy used to has ego face, carrying a girl's bag...hmmm~ i guess it should be a shame to them. LOL.
Somehow, the daddy was really awesome!

In the same day, Cow called me when I was in a cable car. LOL~
She asked about him. She asked how was everything going on. Eventually I didn't told her directly through the phone but message her.
I told her everything that was on my mind.
I remembered she did say, "really don't care about it meh?"
hmmmm~ I guess...yea~ which I have promised myself not to do that after the incident that happen on the 12.12.12.

Camp which on the 28th of December at the Glory beach~ hmmmmm~
Kind of excitement since I was like staying in a foreign country and talk less than usually, much more lesser than my usual day~ LOL. Somehow, I do learn a lot from them! They are nice, I guess if I can speak well in Nihon-go~ I guess I will be the noisiest~ LOL.
Anyway, some Japanese thought that I was good in Nihon-go, I guess what they means was at least I still can communicate with them even though I am not that good in speaking Nihon-go. LOL.
Or, they are just being polite~ LOL
Anyway, glad to meet them. Hope next year when I join this camp, I would be able to speak better Nihon-go. Gambatteh kudasai!

Along the 3 days 2 nights camp, I did chat with him and yet there was one fine day which Alan tried to imitate the way he flirt with others girl. LOL. and remember..he did mention about, "if i speak the way how he speak, you will still flirt with him right?" LOL
Actually I know what that means. lol
Somehow, I reply him with "halleluyah, peace in my mind"
Yea~ I guess I do. Sheryi is strong.
No matter what happen~ no one is allow to take away my happiness.

He like to flirt is his business, on the day of 12.12.12...I guess I did learn something.
Don't tell me that you are trying to flirt less, prove to me if you care about me.
Trust is just like a crystal ball. When it was broke, nothing can fix it and there will always a scald even though it is fixed.
Somehow, I know you don't care...so yea~ why should i care?? LOL
You said, your type of girl should lovely, caring, understanding, little jealous but don't think too much. *I guess that's all if I'm not mistaken* LOL
So yea, actually I wanted to tell you...if you don't hope the girl to think too much~ then proved to her? not just sweet talk~
LOL. Somehow, just forget about it~ I know it won't happen~ *laugh* I don't means not to trust but I guess I trust what ever I saw~

Even though you said, Mr Piggy and Ms Piggy... but for me~ they don't have much relationship~
I still remembered the awareness, I stated my status on facebook as may be i'm single or it's complicated. LOL
Exactly, I don't really know whether we are in relationship or what ever.
So, i might consider that as I'm single~ LOL
So yea~ LOL. I guess, regard this kind of thingy, i might just hand it to the God. LOL

And yet today was the last day of the camp, after the camp, we went to Selangor Pewter which Natsuki bought a pewter which cost RM 150 something. LOL
And we traveled back to Seremban by KTM eventually I don't really know how to travel from KL Sentral back to Seremban. This was really my first time. LOL. Gome nei~ >.<
However, thank God that Dylan was there, my life savior. LOL
He was the photographer for the camp, kind of funny guy eventually a lot of Japanese girls said that he was sexy. Haha..
hmm~ for me rather than sexy..I guess I will consider him as kind of cute and handsome~ LOL
I don't really managed to speak with him until today when he was arranged by Lion Chea to fetch us to KL Sentral. what happen was, he can just drove off after dropping us but he didn't. Hmmm~ a gentleman?? LOL
Dylan was a 23 years old guy eventually I guess he was 24 when I was asked to guess his age. *laugh*
and he stay just near where I stayed. So yea~ I found another new friend which can help me when I was lost in KL. ahahahahahaha~
funny joke~ *laugh*
Anyway~ I'm great to meet him~

Last by not least~ Wishes of the year before it end.
What I wished was, I hoped the world will free of any crime and natural disaster.
A totally safe and nice earth which everyone can live happy ever after.
God bless everyone :)
No more rapist, no more pick pocket which eventually Hiyako-chan's passport was stealed by a pick pocket. *laugh* It happen when she was in Mid Valley. Screwed people who do this.

Secondly, I would wish my family healthy and dreams come true~ everything goes smoothly and always happy.
Of cause my family included  Higo's family. From the moment, I called them Okasan and Otosan, I have included them as part of my family. :)
God bless everyone :)

Thirdly, I would wish that I can do well in my studies and got a scholarship~ So that my parents won't be that suffer. God bless me~
Gambatteh kudasai~ Sheryi is the best!
Be happy don't worry~
my best quote of my life!
*laugh*

Gambatteh kudasai!  :)
xoxo

#blue sky

13.12.12
Whimsical of blue sky~
Close the eyes...listening to my favorite song...
I felt better~

My mood no longer like yesterday~
Sunny day is here~

I don't know..
Why am I that aggressive?
Why am I that emotional when he did not reply my message?
Why am I....
So many questions bound out from my brain.
Keep asking me why am I doing such a thing~
Even myself is laughing at myself.
Period huh?? *laugh*
Not like me at all~
but~ I believed, everything is going to be so fine~
let the God decide it~
Now on...i guess i choose silent~

I won't wait for your message;
I won't hold the phone tight anymore;
I have my life to go;
and you have yours as well;
Go ahead with your stuff and blast it out;
actually~ I do really understand when someone is busy and tire.
I know the condition well..as I been that for so many years~
I totally understand about it~  I don't want to be a trouble maker.
Trouble you all the way long.
As I don't like to trouble people and I don't like myself being trouble as well.
Sheryi should be go back inside the box. *laugh*
It is a bad thing that releasing Sheryi out from the box~ *laugh*

I want Allegro, and I prefer Allegro.
Gloomy day doesn't suited me at all.
May be sometimes~ Adagio? *laugh*
I don't mind, as long I'm happy :)
Happy ever after~
God bless everyone and peaceful every way. :)

#last drop

12.12.12
Shall I make a wish??
If I do, I wish I will be a better me~

Waiting for you is a hard chore;
Waiting for your message is like an idiot;
Care about everything that you have done was like an insane;

I don't know what do everything that you have done means to you, but it do means a lot to me.
but...I guess you found a better me~
If you don't care why should I care about it~
Why should I care about it that much~
I did try to find reason for you, but...it doesn't work at all...I was so struggle between it.
I did try to find excuses for you, but...rational told me that It is impossible~
It even came to a situation that~ I believed misunderstanding did occur~

I know you are not my stomach's worm but...I can't ask you either, because I really don't know...in your heart..what am I?
a good mate?
or..
your ms piggy?
eventually...you gave me a feeling that you are not my Mr piggy even though you said you wanna be my Mr piggy.
I found that, you don't even belong to me, not even partially or quarter.
I'm a noob when things come to me, I don't know what should I do.
Don't tend that I will know what the meaning behind.
I'm stupid~ I'm an idiot~

Somehow, I will think...are there all lies??
If there are...Don't comfort me with your lies, I don't need sympathy or empathy~
I rather you hurt me with the truth. At least I will just cry off like a baby and stand up as a better me for the next day.
Don't give me any hope or promises if you think that you are not able to finish it or made it done for me. I will believed in it~ I will let myself out from the box.
Eventually, I guess I was wrong~
I shouldn't let myself out from the box.
I shouldn't believed that in the dark, I'm able to find you standing beside me.
I shouldn't believed every single word that you told me.
I shouldn't believed that we will make something different.
I shouldn't believed that you will with me when I'm crying.
I shouldn't stop being a porcupine.
I 'm an idiot!
Why am I getting deeper and deeper?
Why am I hoping that you will be the someone who hold my hand?

There is no fairy tale~
This will be my last time~
tears being out from my eyes~
mood being ruined~
I want a sunny day not a gloomy day~
I know where should I stand....
Just hand everything to God~
Le it flow what ever it should~
*pat my heart* everything will going to be so fine...

#sad case~ 12.12.12 miracles which not belong to me~

#lesson??

There's a good news!
That is the baby is safe~ yeah ^^
Honestly, it is a kind of cruel if you really planned to do abortion. :(
It is sinful although it should be the right decision especially you have no financial support at all.

The daddy said he wants the baby, I guess...he had told you about it long time ago right??
Honestly, through what ever stories that you told me...
For me, it's don't made sense..What are you worrying eventually you are still in love with him?
What's wrong with his friends?? He should be the one that you gonna live with..not his friends.
I don't speak out all this is just because you was so firm on your decision and  you do believed that his friends were the trouble maker and they are those who caused you broke up with you boyfriend and eventually...you said you are suffered from mentally illness all because of his friends.
I don't know~ Through my understanding..still~ communication is the key of success. Instead, you guys are lack of communication. You don't tell him how you felt, are you going to expect him to know about it?? O.o
You kept everything, your baby, your feeling, your sadness, your problems to yourself...I means for me is alright because I was trained to be...but for you~ you don't seem to be..and your problems no longer a small issue but it's regard with your future.

Only solution for pregnancy is get marry..somehow I'm surprised that what brings courage to you that you wants to be a single mother and soon you decided to do abortion.=.=
Isn't it a great idea if you speak with the father, that's all~ problem solved. Why made things complicated??
Somehow, I believed...your future will no longer as what we expected and same as us. So, I wish you luck. Good luck in your future. God bless you :)

However, through her case, I learn a lot. One of it was, "think twice before you action". The consequence that you caused, you might can't accept.
Babies are innocent. Children are innocent. Don't "make" them if you are not prepare.
If it's happen~ accept it! and be responsible on it!
Guys or girls~ no matter who was it? Who started it? Be responsible~

Somehow, it's kind of awkward when you knew someone is pregnant and she was your classmate~ *laugh* Unbelievable~ I thought it won't happen on me~ eventually, it's happen! *laugh*
Life is unpredictable~ *laugh*

#fool?

I felt myself like an idiot.
What am I hoping for?
An answer? A reply? Your message?
Why am i keep looking at the phone and worried that i will missed your message.. eventually...disappointment growth each time I looked at it.
I guess...i am really the only idiot who cares about it.
I hate you for controlling my mood.
I hate you for controlling my mind.
I hate you for controlling my heart.
i hate you...why turning me into an idiot.
Why am i still believing in something it might not happen?
Why am i believing in something which i don't used to believe?
or...everything is just a misunderstanding...
i'm that stupid till i misunderstand everything that u have done..

#cinema

Hooray!!!!! MERDEKA!!! Even though still having a last paper which is Moral on the next Friday, my holidays and Christmas mood is on!! *laugh*

Today~ We went for a movie again at Tropicana Mall. Today show was Life of Pi.
Basically, that was a nice show which worth to watch.
Touching and it's reflected that the world really a huge world, an enormous which full of miracles. The sad part of the movie was no one believe him, no one believe in his story which he had to tell lies to entertain those Japanese guys.

What happen was, that fella...he paid RM10 and sleep in the cinema.*laugh* According to what he told me, he was tired but he is there is because I wanted to watch. *laugh* Actually I felt like troubling you. :)
Somehow, there was some scenes which made me cried and he was like...he hugged me and asked me not to cry. My God! *laugh* I was so awkward man, but..thank you~
and your hoody as well, I guess you are colder that I am...thanks for the caring :) It is sweet~ *laugh*

I don't know~ which or what is our status for now...but, thanks for everything...although I didn't do well in my paper but today can be consider a happy day. *laugh*

#WE

我確定 by Victor Wong

作詞：易桀齊
作曲：易桀齊/伍冠諺
編曲：黃冠豪

心 , 感謝認識你
你 , 充滿我的心
愛情好神奇 有時不需要言語
生活裡默契讓我們都驚喜
心 ,如果沒有你
我像無頭的蒼蠅
未來跟過去比
我相信一定有趣
你是我欣賞不完的風景
此時此刻我確定
我確定永遠都愛你
我決定你的決定像信仰一樣的堅定
此時此刻我確定
就算窗外雷聲驚天動地
現在身邊那個人是你 我就安心

心 (心) ~ 感謝認識你
你 (你) ~ 充滿我的心
愛情好神奇 有時不需要言語
生活裡默契讓我們都驚喜
此時此刻我確定
我確定永遠都愛你
我決定你的決定像信仰一樣的堅定
此時此刻我確定
就算窗外雷聲驚天動地
現在身邊那個人是你我就安心

此時此刻我確定
我確定永遠都愛你
我決定你的決定像信仰一樣的堅定
此時此刻我確定
就算窗外雷聲驚天動地
現在身邊那個人是你我就安心

嗚 ~ 我確定 ~
~~~~~~~~
This was my song of the day~ Though, Victor Wong is a great singer! :)
Basically, I’m really grateful that we know each other.
Like the lyric,
"心 , 感謝認識你" :)

Let me flash back…
If wasn’t me that stubborn and insisted to study law...
I guess for now, I should be at Sabah studying Ekonomi Antarabangsa or else in UM majoring in Music.
Yea~
Then, we won’t know each other or meet each other..
We will like…strangers??
*laugh*

Somehow, yesterday you told me…
You want to be my Mr Piggy. Partially which belong to me...*this is what I said* :)

***What means partially to me?? Basically, that's because you still have your life to go. You still have your family and friends and I have mine as well. I don't need you to be 24/7 with me, accompany me, but at least I know you were there whenever I need you, whenever I need your hugs and it's same goes to you. In a relationship, everything it's just depend on trust...***

Obviously, I’m kind of happy but I’m scared. :(
In the sense of…consider and think too much.
As I said: “ My growth is a silent, is a secret…I used to live in a box, building walls was my talent…from young, I was instilled with “not to trust”…”

Yea~ somehow that was only part of me…

My growth is a silent, is a secret because I think that no one will know me…I don’t like to share my feeling especially the sad part…I don’t hope others people to get involve into my moody mood. I know myself quite well, If I shared…I would no longer smiling or laughing and tell you about it…I will like crying while telling you eventually I don’t want it to happen.

I used to live in a box and building walls was my talent because I’m coward! I’m scared of getting hurt~
In order to protect myself, this was the only way…lock myself inside a box instead, I guess it should be lock my heart inside the box like the Octopus inside the Pirate and the Caribbean. He locked his heart inside a box and buried it deeply into one of the island. With all this, I only can feel better and make sense. With this, I can really laugh like no bodies care. With this, I can really sure that my heart is been protected.

From young I was instilled with “not to trust”. I guess this should be credit and thanks to my Mumi and all those passed memories which prove that my Mumi was right. That's the part I feared the most..
In a relationship, trust existed the most. I will try~ I hope it worked since I been having this habit for almost 20 years?
What I means trust was using my heart truly believe that you are good to me and you won't do anything to hurt me.
Just like Darren and Cow. Honestly, they are my only best best friends for the past 20 years because I don't easily mark friends as my best friend. So yea~ but I don't know whether this, for them, it is a good thing or a bad thing. *laugh*
If it was like normal small case thingy, I might believe, as what my friends always said that I'm really someone who easily get cheated. I was like, " yea~ I'm!!" Instead this don't hurt me. It don't cost me anything. As long as you are happy, I'm fine with it. :)
I will believe, but not trust. I don't know whether others peoples will understand what am I trying to express but this was how I differentiate it between believe and trust.

I don’t know~ you said I looks very happy but can see sadness behind me.
Somehow, I’m pretty sure I’m a kind of person who really can cover my sadness perfectly if you don’t trigger it. That’s why I’m curious…what made you said that statement?

However, I’m grateful that we are not stranger as well as Alan and new friends. You guys really make me growth. I means at least I learned something out of it. Yea~
*laugh*

Great day! and it's time for me to fight for my FINALS~ FIGHTING GO GO GO !!!!!! XD

#distance

"Lucky Guy" by David Choi

It’s been so long since I’ve met someone
That makes me feel this way
Makes me smile, and that’s hard to do
I don’t think it’s something you realize you do

You make me feel
Like I’m the only guy
With you in the world

But we can’t be together
Can’t really be friends
We can’t be lovers
And we can’t pretend
Oh that boy in your life
Better make you his wife
And he better believe he’s a lucky guy

You wanted a song well here’s one for you
Nobody will know except for us two
Don’t ask me about it
Cuz I won’t tell the truth
Just know that there’s someone
Thinking of you

You make me feel
Something I wish wasn’t real at all

[Chorus]

You were never mine to begin with…

So we can’t be together
Can’t really be friends
We can’t be lovers
And we can’t pretend
Oh that boy in your life
Better make you his wife
And he better believe he’s a lucky guy

~~~~
This was a song which was the ending song for the Unfold 2.
I don't know why, I 'm just falling to this song.

"But we can’t be together
Can’t really be friends
We can’t be lovers
And we can’t pretend
Oh that boy in your life
Better make you his wife
And he better believe he’s a lucky guy"

This was the part of the lyrics that I love the most. :)
Sometimes, love with a distance...
really need a lot of courage.

I don't know why am I watching the Unfold part 2 for the second time..
But just felt sad in the sense that why can't they be together.
Why the guy have to just walk off when the girl said "can we do this again"?
I don't get it. Isn't it both of you still in love with each other???
What made you step back when the girl said "yes"?
Though, at last the guy do really made his way for chasing back the girl again.
It should be consider a happy ending? *laugh*

Life...unpredictable.
Love..unpredictable as well, though it really need to be work out by both parties not one. :)

I don't know what will happen to us in the future.
I do enjoyed the moment when I was with you.
I do love the moment when you are sitting beside me when in the cinema.
I do love the feeling that you put your head on my shoulder.
I love the way when you asked me "are you cold?" and hand me your hoody to me and used it to cover me without waiting for me to say "yes". Honestly, I'm touched.
I remembered once before, I told you to beware...because Billy the crocodile might eat you up and you said "I don't care because I only live once".
*laugh* I'm super happy actually. Thank you for saying that. yea~ that's my life...I 'm really someone who really scared for being hurt. Sorry~
I don't know....When I was with you...I'm just like a kid. I felt like out of the box and wish to tell you everything that made me miserable, anything that made my day gloomy.

But...I was scared and started to step back. I don't feel like "me" anymore.

I don't know what are you thinking?
and I don't know what all that means to you even though everything that you have done, it do means a lot to me.
You might be thinking that was just some actions to flirt around?
It is just a small case?
or a challenge? 
I don't know...or worst...I am just a spare tire.
A spare which can entertain you. A crown which can make you happy or accompany when you are boring.
I don't know~ am I doing the right thing.

What is our status for currently?
A friend?
Best friend?
Good mate?
Couple?
Or nothing at all....

Foolish! I'm an idiot! Watashi wa bakayaro desu.
Hontoni bakayaro desu.
Why am I caring so much, why am I feeling something which not suppose to be...
What is inside you little brain??
Who am I? What am I?
I'm sad.... :(

#I don't want

I had a really....night mare??
For me it is a night mare.
In that dream..
I saw the "me".
The "me" who is rebellious as when I was, during my secondary school.
Really rebellious and nasty.

and in that dream...
I quarreled with my grandmother.
Fight with my youngest brother even my eldest sister.
I do fight and quarreled with my Mumi as well....
Night mare~

because of what am I...
My Mumi give hope on me and doesn't want me any more...
Everyone give hope on me...
They don't want me anymore... :'(
Eventually...I'm not pretty sure whether am I screaming for the whole night but I hope I didn't.
Around 3 o'clock. I woke up from the dream with wet eyes.
I cried. :(
and I saw his message....I told him that I had a bad dream.
Honestly, if he reply me that time...I will really ask a hug from him.
Unfortunately,  he didn't until 7 something in the morning.

I cried until I fell asleep...I guess around 4 something cause I remembered I cried for quite a long time...and my eyes for today was like...golden fish--->swollen. *laugh*

Everyone can boycott me, can leave me, don't want me...but not my family....
please don't give hope on me.... :(
I don't want...
I don't want...
Don't leave me alone.... :(

#strength to be over come

This was my first time feeling so stress in my study.
yea~ I'm looking at the books...
yea~ I'm stuying
yea~ I'm reading it
yea~ I'm doing my revision

BUT!! Why...Why am I so stupid....
I don't understand what am I reading...
My brain was totally blank!!
and...my eyes is wet~
I'm pouring....
eventually...I'm crying...
This was really my first time.
Even though, during STPM examination.
I don't feel that way....

I don't want to resit that paper.
I don't want to fail that paper.

God, Lord, Father..please give the strength to over come it.
Thank you...Amithaba, Amen..

#turning point??

Sometimes, for me....
even though is a message which might be some artificial talk....but I still felt happy about it.
and so sweet deep inside my heart. *laugh*
I wonder will you having the same feeling as me? O.o

In my opinion, hmmm~ I guess it should be a no to you?
Somehow, you are someone who really...I don't know which word best suit you but I guess you won't feel the same feeling as I felt.
For you, I guess it is a no big deal right...because I think you been so experience that telling others girls who you wanted to flirt. *I guess so* For you, you tell me that I'm special, honestly...are you telling any others girls about this as well? I bet you are.
I really don't know much about you..
Each time, every single moment, I wanted to go near you, I'm having an invisible fear in me.
I don't know.
We are doing something which seem like should be a couple but indeed we are not a couple or a lover.
I don't know what is inside your mind, what you think about us, what you think about me.
For you...who is me?? Where is me?? What is me?? How is me??
Questions bound out which I don't know how to answer myself.
You said you care...but..I don't feel it. I don't feel it that you care.

I'm just a normal people, a lay man.
Don't do something that you think that I will understand about it...
I might don't go for it..
Because I need something more specific...something more confirm...
I need something direct...not a guess or what ever.
Don't made me guess, I might think something else.

My world is really simple~
Yes definitely is a yes..
No definitely is a no.. :)

#about me

"Heart And Mind" by Kina Grannis

I write you letters from right to left
See if you have desire yet
To decipher what I said
And learn secrets from my head

And it was hard for me to say
Those three words that are so brave
Almost kept them locked away
Deep inside where they'd be safe

[Chorus:]
Always trying to find
A safer place to hide
Always felt I was protecting my heart and mind
Heart and mind
But it seems like to really feel like
I cannot hide
My heart and mind

And I don't know why I get shy
Tucked away inside my mind
Scared to let someone inside
I sit silent in disguise

[Chorus]

Day I found a strength inside
Just by finally realizing
Is it truth that is inside
That I really cannot hide

My heart and mind
I always felt I was protecting my heart and mind
Heart and mind
But it seems like to really feel like
I cannot hide
My heart and mind
I cannot hide
My heart and mind

~~~~~
A song which reflected something about me...
My heart and my mind...
Eventually, I am those who always trying to find a safer place to hide because I am trying to protect my heart and mind.
Those who really know about me...like Darren and Cow...
Eventually, until now they are someone who really know how am I actually.
Hiding is my best shield...
Hiding is my best wall...
Hiding is my best cure...
I don't need sympathy or empathy..
Once before, there is a guy which was my secondary friend told me that I'm different from others girls.
For him, I'm someone who strong in physically and mentally.
*laugh* Eventually, yea~ this is what I want peoples to think of.
I 'm happy anyway...but sad that you really don't know me well..
4 years old.
7 years old.
9 years old.
12 years old.
14 years old.
15 years old.
17 years old.
until now....
20 years old.
*ironically laugh*
Each year, I am having a UNFORGETTABLE story which even worst behind me~
What made me that susceed infront of peoples as what you guys think of...
What made me to stay strong...
What force me to stay strong...
My stories, my life, my heart, my mind...
What do you know? You don't know anything and I don't wish to let anyone know as well.
That's what i said~ My growth is a silent, is a secret~
Because I don't trust...
I choose to hide....
I choose to build walls...
I'm a porcupine.
I'm someone who really like to think a lot....
A lots of peoples think that I'm really a mature fella...
I don't know, it might be because I really think a lot...
Different people different opinions...
Some people think that I'm charm
I'm cheerful
I'm sweet
I'm kiddo
I'm mature
*laugh*
yea~ really a lot of opinions about me..
Eventually, you guys really know nothing about me. *laugh*

#my Time

What is happening actually???
Today we went for nasi lemak...obviously with the same gang~
However, when we were there, I noticed that...there was only one chair~ which means they did not know that I'm going with him and their face expression do really tell me a lot about how they feel.
So yea~ kind of awkward...and I know what actually Alan thinking....
The way he spoke with me on the Facebook....kind of feeling loosing him as someone who can talk with.
I started to fear to speak something with him other than joking.
Am I doing something wrong or decision that I shouldn't?
I don't know...I really don't know...

and I felt so gloomy for my hole study week eventually I don't really study much but wasting time.
The most was on Wensy's case.
I don't really feel like putting a leg on it...since it's non of my business...
Why am I putting my leg inside...
Eventually, it is planned to call the so called fucking daddy to meet up with Wensy and talk about the baby. The worst part was, Esther straight away put my name in it and asked me to call him eventually I seem to be no right and no chance to say "NO".
What the hell~
I don't really feel like getting involve in it..Come on la~
Eventually you guys have the foundation of LAW but I'm not! I don't know anything about Law.
Don't waste my time please. Anything that I should help which above my limit, I have done my part. No extra hard work please, I 'm not the volunteer...I have my own life to go...I'm not either counselor or angel...What ever I should...I have go through and as promised...I had be that somebody.
So, please...just leave some time for me okay~
Please don't ask me out for the for goodness chit chat or what ever...I need to STUDY, ladies...
You guys are really great...you guys gain my mood and please leave the time for me as well...
Don't asked me to go for the so called study group or study guide or what ever which eventually I am there to waste my time in chit chat and seeing you guys dating...
DON'T WASTE MY TIME. =.=
Frankly speaking, you should know what's the consequence for being making love before marriage..so yea~ have a great day! I sick of it and tired.
You guys really made my day gloom eventually I don't know should I say no or buck up myself to help you.
AAAAAAAA~ what the hell~~~~
Great one~ =.=
Great job ladies~ I guess I should speak this infront of you guys eventually...
Why are you are the one who is pregnant??? OMG~ What am I doing??? My God!
Why should I cared about you guys feeling eventually mine should be the more important right?
I don't want~ I want mine to be more important.... :(
I don't give a shit la..... :( Why? WHy? WHY? Haiz..... :(