太突然了， 也太快了吧～ 我幾乎不知所措。 為甚麼他會這麼做呢？我幾乎不知道應該給什麼反應，雖然那個不是我的初吻。如果是的話，我應該會給他一巴掌。呵呵～ 可是。。。我還是覺得太突然了。從未有過的驚慌失措。 我完了！
Friday, August 12, 2016
Thursday, August 11, 2016
Game Over
Long gone from this little cute paradise and here I am to rant or may be puke things I wanted to.
For the least, here is the only place that I found inner peace. I don't have to think about who and who's feeling that I need to care about. Is all me!
There's a lot of changes in my life recently. My result, my life back to Malaysia and the people that I met.
The most significant change is, I could not fly back to Malaysia and graduate with my course mates, which is a huge disappointment. I am so, so disappointed to myself. How could I done this silly mistake? The worst moment when my Dad told me that he supposed to be in UK for my graduation but not for holidays and he continued saying that I am not working hard enough. I nearly burst into tears but I know, I shouldn't and not supposed to because, my Dad was right. I am not working hard enough. I can actually feel the disappointment which I have given to my parents. The only words which floated in my mind was, I AM SUCKS! I m sucks...
I certainly have no idea is this a plan which meant for me. Am I meant to stay? Away from home, away from all the factors which obstructed me from finding myself? Anyhow, I am hearing, I am hearing to the way my heart leading me, and I am hearing to you, God. I will be keep going and be the best of me. I know, there's no turning back. I am so gonna scored this two subjects! Not matter what. I learned and changes start from now.
Recently, my crush when I was 19, texted me and he is flirting as what he did last time. He asked about my relationship with my Ex, and he comforted me with 'more fishes in the sea'. This was okay actually but he added, he might be the fish with 'I am joking' added at the back of the sentence. If back in those years when I was 19, I might falls for him again. But, he hurts me when I am willing to hand over my heart to him. He did not appreciate but taking for granted. I was being hurt deeply. I cried for my silliness almost every night. I cried for my stupidity almost every time I reflects back. I regretted on confronting him about how I feels about him. The most ironically moment when he rejected me with, 'I treated her as my sister'. I am grateful. Because, I grown up after his incident. He taught me about getting close, having mutual feelings doesn't meant that we are in love, it can be brother and sister's love. I learned and accepted this fact. I don't hate him but when I was 19, he took away my naive, my weakness, my heart and replaced it with rational, strong and steel. It is a good lesson and believe me or not, we will only be remained as friends forever. Your flirting, a strange numbness, unlike anything I have felt before. Game is over but I am grateful for what you have done to me. Thank you, my 19 years old's crush.
For the least, here is the only place that I found inner peace. I don't have to think about who and who's feeling that I need to care about. Is all me!
There's a lot of changes in my life recently. My result, my life back to Malaysia and the people that I met.
The most significant change is, I could not fly back to Malaysia and graduate with my course mates, which is a huge disappointment. I am so, so disappointed to myself. How could I done this silly mistake? The worst moment when my Dad told me that he supposed to be in UK for my graduation but not for holidays and he continued saying that I am not working hard enough. I nearly burst into tears but I know, I shouldn't and not supposed to because, my Dad was right. I am not working hard enough. I can actually feel the disappointment which I have given to my parents. The only words which floated in my mind was, I AM SUCKS! I m sucks...
I certainly have no idea is this a plan which meant for me. Am I meant to stay? Away from home, away from all the factors which obstructed me from finding myself? Anyhow, I am hearing, I am hearing to the way my heart leading me, and I am hearing to you, God. I will be keep going and be the best of me. I know, there's no turning back. I am so gonna scored this two subjects! Not matter what. I learned and changes start from now.
Recently, my crush when I was 19, texted me and he is flirting as what he did last time. He asked about my relationship with my Ex, and he comforted me with 'more fishes in the sea'. This was okay actually but he added, he might be the fish with 'I am joking' added at the back of the sentence. If back in those years when I was 19, I might falls for him again. But, he hurts me when I am willing to hand over my heart to him. He did not appreciate but taking for granted. I was being hurt deeply. I cried for my silliness almost every night. I cried for my stupidity almost every time I reflects back. I regretted on confronting him about how I feels about him. The most ironically moment when he rejected me with, 'I treated her as my sister'. I am grateful. Because, I grown up after his incident. He taught me about getting close, having mutual feelings doesn't meant that we are in love, it can be brother and sister's love. I learned and accepted this fact. I don't hate him but when I was 19, he took away my naive, my weakness, my heart and replaced it with rational, strong and steel. It is a good lesson and believe me or not, we will only be remained as friends forever. Your flirting, a strange numbness, unlike anything I have felt before. Game is over but I am grateful for what you have done to me. Thank you, my 19 years old's crush.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)