懷孕？不要！#Pregnant??? NO WAY!!!!

Yesterday i slept around 2am and in return i got myself pregnant in a dream. LOL!
I don't really ask for a sweet dream but please~ not this kind. It is awful. I hate it!

It's not the time for me to get pregnant, since i am going to enter university, soon~

I knew~babies is wonderful, babies is cute, babies is the give form the God, babies is mummy's happiness...but babies is formed from sperm and ovum with the love one. 

Gosh! In that stupid dream, everything goes up side down.  

What the hell is going on!! 

I am surely going to wet my pillow if the dream is still going on. Everything seem to be so real in that dream. It's horrible! I don't like that feeling. No~ not for me, i am not going to let my future stuck in a stupid mistake. 

i like babies, but my babies definitely not going to be born in this kind of condition.

aaaaaa~ What an awful day i have~ *finger crossing* Hope for the best~

黑暗 #The DARKNESS~

闭上眼睛，一片黑暗，没有温度，连一丝温暖都没有。
盒子里的空间，随着岁月长大，渐渐地变小，逼得喘不过气来。
周围的温度忽然下降，零度有余。
抱着自己取暖，并且不断的祈祷，希望会像火柴女孩一样，拥有着一团又一团的火柴，一支又一支能够取暖的一瞬间，点燃到最后时会看见自己想要见到的人。

可是事实并不像如此的理想，火柴女孩很幸运，可是..活在当下的事实并不理想。
人生的分岔路太多了，人的可恶也濒临的增加，甚至会去到只能剩下太可怜的叹气~
没有人会知道将来的世界会是怎样，可是还是希望是美好的。

为什么当初的单纯不能留下，因为事实所逼？？
NO!NO!NO!我还是觉得，人过不了利益与地位的游戏，而被丑化了~
人就不能单纯吗？
在目前为止，我遇过的，看过的，经历过的，都没有一个是纯粹的单纯。也不能抹杀，但是可以肯定的是很少，是少之又少。
现象还一年比一年严重~不是不想相信，而是不能相信。
这世界上，单纯不能吃饭。。为什么呢？？？好可怜~~~
（叹气）

拼圖 #the puzzle

回想起那些年我们还是初中生时，那些年我们叛逆期时，那些年父母常常担心孩子学坏的时候，那些年当学生的我们往往希望自己快快脱离“魔掌”的时候，在从学校里望出去看见旁行者的自由，都流露了羡慕与妒忌。

但是，当自己真的当上了旁行者时，当我们从外头望进去时，却无奈地对着自己的那些年的无知而摇头，可笑的问自己为什么时间不能停留在那一刻。

人就是这样。当拥有时，却不珍惜。当时去了这机会时，却无奈的想要回去。
但是，时间永远是不等人的。

这个道理却往往不能被领悟。因为当别人在劝说时，你的第一个反应就是“为什么你那么的烦呀！我自己的事要你管！”往往都是右耳进左耳出的态度。当自己给经过了那段时期，才发现原来当初自己的无知，自己所抱着“右耳进左耳出的态度”其实是不对的。就因为那种态度而害了自己。

人就是这样。往往自以为了不起。可是就是被古人给说中了，“不听老人言吃亏在眼前”。

何为老人？当然不只是指老一趟的人，而是包括了你的前辈，拥有过同一段的经历，拥有过同一段经验的人，不管他是你的哥哥或是姐姐，甚至可能是比你小的后辈，都往往有这个机会当上这所谓的老人。

可是再怎么说，再怎么劝，也不会有人把这番话给当上道理，只会把它給当上一阵风。往往会开始学会领悟时就是当自己也已经经过了那番“风云世界”。好运的，后果还能补救。如果不是，可能就这么一生了。可能有人会觉得“有那么夸张吗？不是有“船到桥头自然直”吗？”。可是我认为事实往往就是那么现实与残酷。你不用功去划船，你的船可能会自己飘到桥头吗？是不可能的。有可能的几率往往是百分之十。就像你没有用功读书一样，你考不好一样。对，没有好的成绩，你是可以生存在这世界上，你还可以赚钱养家，这是无可否认的。因为所谓的“铁杵磨成针”呀！可是一个有很好的履历与不好的履历，你觉得聪明的人会选上哪一位呢？就换一个角度来想，你把你自己当成是一个大公司的大老板，你人手不够可是却只请一位，当时同时有两个人来应征，一位是大学生，一位是初中五的毕业生，明智的你，你会把你的公司的事物交给比较有保障的大学生还是初中五呢？有些人会想，可能初中五会比大学生好。因为初中五都可以当上大老板的一天，为什么要瞧不起初中毕业生呢？就像GENTING HIGHLAND 的UNCLE LIM一样，他还不是学历很差，读书读不好，到头来他也不是白手起家把他家的那门生意给搞的有声有色。朋友呀~你对UNCLE LIM 的了解又有多少呢？你又知不知道他白手起家之前吃的苦又有多苦呢？他白手起家的时候，碰过多少的钉子，碰过多少的低落，碰过多少的失望。人呀往往只看到别人的风光却看不到别人的苦。连他本生就算再怎么苦，都要硬着头皮，咬紧牙根，把他的孩子们给当上大学生，因为他知道，没有读书，没有好的履历，没有大学生的称号，将来就会像他一样的吃苦，吃亏。

我以前FORM 6的朋友的想法就是这样，没有读书还不是一样可以当上大老板？对呀，这是我无可否认的，但是十个里面有多少个是这样幸运呢？请容许我把他们给带上幸运的名号，但当然还要加上他们自己的努力才行呀~

事实上只有百分之十的人。所以，我一直都不认同他们的这种想法，甚至会很讨厌他们的这种想法。我有一个朋友却这样反驳“人各有志嘛~我知道你很会读书。”问题就是，我从来不任何我自己是一个很努力读书的人，什么嘛~只是，这是事实呀~世界那么大，你可以跟我保证没有好的履历能当上大老板的有百分之五十吗？

我从来都不觉得我是一个很用功读书的人，如果我是，我的spm应该是很好的吧~我就不会想要当上医生却不能啦~只是，我知道，如果不读书就等于没前途再等于没“钱”途。因为，这世界虽然是庞大，可是却很现实。我不是瞧不起没有好成绩的人，而是我觉得如果考试考不好，你很大可能被人从游戏里给踢走，是第一还是第二，我就不知道，那就要看你后天的补救了~

我的“那些年” #the past

刚刚才把“那些年，我们一起追的女孩”给看完。
这部电影的却给了我不少的思念，让我回想起我的那些年。

我的那些年，可能没有像沈佳仪那样，被那么多的男生追求~呵呵~
可是我的那些年也不差啊！

我的初中，我参加了许多许多的活动，许多的比赛，许多的奖项，许多的光荣，甚至与我的same team的同伴也制造了不少的回忆。。
每次听别人说他的中学期有多无聊，可是我却不觉得我的很无聊~或许我没有沈佳仪那么会念书，可是我却觉得我的初中很美好~ 让我体验许多的精彩。
顶撞老师，与同学斗嘴，笑老师是个大笨蛋，不听老师的课，在班上也有打打闹闹的，说闲话，别人的坏话，与马来同学印度同学有过难忘的交情，总之我的初中生活显然没有像lee may ginn和kar woon地拥有要好的优秀的成绩，可是我总觉得我比他们活得更愉快~ 我也拥有不少的朋友，甚至还有知己呢。。哈哈

与牛的那段，虽然我们认识不是很久，我们的性格也不一样，可是很意外我们很快就成为了很要还的朋友。。是缘分吧~

更让我觉得开心的事，我们的友谊并不存在利益与心机，而是百分之白的纯友谊。我也不知道将来我们会变成怎样，可是我依然希望我们这份纯友谊永不变。
如果，它变形了~可能我以后，再也不会相信任何人，将心比心的付出了~
因为就连单纯的这一趟都夸不去，将来的就不用再提单纯这两个字了~ 因为它不可能再出现~

我的初中回想起来，还会让我乐呢~到了高中，我的生活也不差啊~

虽然我走错了我要迈向的第一步，可是如果不是那错的那一步，我也不会认识到chan li moon 他们。 他们虽然不是很会读书，往往与我所想的，我的观念，很不一样。。就像电影里的柯金腾他们一样，不读书，觉得读书并不重要，觉得就算不会书里的知识，还是一样能生存~
有时我真的会很佩服他们那不知状况的思想，至少他们是开心的~
他们有些总是会出口成章，可是能够认识他们，我也觉得很快乐~
我的高中也就这样，打打闹闹，玩乐之下也给画上了句点。虽然我的考试不是我想要的成绩，可是我觉得天无绝人之路。
可能，这一世我是注定要与science画上句点。可是，我却没有后悔选上它，学它，如今因为自己的无能，不能再接触它，那是我的错，并不是它难学。 可是，也因为它让我拥有为自己再奋斗的力量~ 让我想要在为自己的十年再锦上添花，我不知道我的未来是怎样，可是我会努力地打造。
我会把我的一点一滴都写在这~
在这里，它就是我的那些年~

那階段 #the BETWEEN

I have to let go although i am not willing to..because  "不甘心".

But i have no choice. There's the fact, i have to accept it and i must learn to accept it.

Although i am not reconciled, but i have to accept it as a fact because i have no right to choose~

I HAVE NO RIGHT TO CHOOSE~ I HAVE NO RIGHT TO CHOOSE~

Though, i am not going to give up my life~ The earth is still turning although you are unhappy, the time is still passing although your are crying.. I am totally not going to waste my time on that.

What doesn't kill me make me stronger~

I am not going to let my fear strike me out from playing the game for once more~

I goes through once, i don't want it to be repeat again.

Out of difficulties, make miracle~

I must and i will create the choices, and i will have back my right to choose~ I promised!

This was the greatest lesson i have learn and i promised this will be the last and not going to happen anymore. 

~Promises from the dump ass~

後悔莫及 #the Regret

今天去了FACON EDUCATIONAL FAIR 一趟。
那种感觉很糟糕，我阿姨说我是一个应该读SCIENCE的人，可是我却。。
真的很后悔，很后悔当初自己不够反省，一次一次的教训，为什 么。。为什么还是学不会，为什么总是觉得自己是行的，为什么要那么的自大，明明就知道考试就应该读书，想要好的成绩更要读书，为什么总是认为自己很聪明~

黄雪薏，让我来告诉你吧，你真是个大笨蛋！！
想要读那课不能读，为什么？BECAUSE YOU DID NOT REACH THE MINIMUM REQUIREMENT, IN ORDER TO STUDY MEDIC, YOU MUST HAVE MINIMUM 5 B'S IN YOUR SCIENCE SUBJECT!
喝~你没有~你没有~你没有的选择，你真的没有的选择。。

哭都应该没资格吧~ 这次，真的玩大了。。想要玩？这就是代价。
算了吧~ 你已经没有选择的余地了~ 你只能study account 了。 把这事实给吞了吧~

从今天起~成绩没有达到要求的话，你以后都不用叫黄雪薏了~你干脆把姓给改掉，姓蠢吧~
THERE IS NO TAKE TWO IN LIFE~
当事情发生在自己的身上，才会知道它的可悲，才会知道它带来的伤害，才会知道它的厉害，才会知道后悔，才会知道它的不值，才会开始领悟，才会开始后悔，才会知道当初别人所劝的都是道理，都是事实，都是真的。
我就求求你不要再让自己后悔了。。。
不要再用你的前途当赌注了~ 你没有这个本事~
你再也玩不起了~


黄雪薏！ 你一定一定要加油~不要再让你的父母一而再再而三的失望了，也不要再让自己失望了。。更不要再让自己觉得很糟糕。。。

我的成績日 #My Result Day

Today was my result day~ opps...it's shouldn't be today anymore..LOL..i should said yesterday was my result day..
Surprisingly ~ I AM NOT THAT NERVOUS AS USUAL~ and I am not down in the mouth when i received an unexpected result...
Overall not that bad and not that good---->so far so good~ LOL
When i was at home, i chatted with my STPM's friends..If they don't mention about the stupid result, for me today was just a normal day.
Haiz~ what ever is it, life still going on, the earth won't stop for you when you are sad~
We have to look forward but not backward~ ROCK YOUR LIFE and LOVE YOUR LIFE~~~
YAHOOOOOO~ ZZZZZZZZZZ*sleep*

句點 #Full-Stop

Is it a must to change??
To something that I dreamed into something which i didn't dream before??
I know, i really understand what you guys is worried. In the sense, I am in the same position.
But should i let go~

Should i dreamed something more realistic? Something which is more suitable~

Am i wronged?
In the first place and first sense i shouldn't dreamed something which is not realistic.

May be... It is time for me to start to draw a full stop in everything.

May be i am not that desperate for what i have dreamed. 

May be this kind of arrangement will be more suitable for me.

Oh my god~~~ may be may be may be....

I am totally feeling disappointed toward myself.. WONG SHER YI is an useless fella...

But still having one thing that i am proud of...that is----->
Peoples used to "say no to cigarette" but for me was "say no to local u". LOL..
NO TO LOCAL U~ LOL

STOP LYNAS AND SAVE MALAYSIA!!!

Starting to pity the EARTH and MALAYSIA~

For me, i hated the government but i like Malaysia for being so peaceful and beautiful and i appreciated that god sent me here to this country~
When i starting to mention about Malaysia~ The first thing which made me impressed was the culture like how the Indians got marry, the way the Malays eat, the artwork from Baba Nyonya...and more and more which we don't know, which waiting for us to learn...Malaysia is like a paradise which gather everything under one roof. :)

During the Youth Exchange to Japan, honestly..i am proud to be part of Malaysia..at least i know minimum 3 type of languages which maybe others don't know. When i started to introduce Malaysia to my foster family, it was the proudest moment that i haven felt before...When i saw the expression that shown on their faces, I am always the happiest..In that family, i used to speak English but sometime if they don't understand, i used to write in Chinese or draw out for them~ Although i have to do so, but i don't felt tired because i am proud to introduce Malaysia to them..I spoke everything i have gone through form baby to teenager..How was the Chinese got marry, the "rule and regulation" before and after they married..LOL..and i like the expression of Miko-chan when i told her..She always like to say:" heh~ sodes ne.." hahahaha...

But! Once Lynas step into Malaysia~ Everything will be changing. Malaysia will no longer peaceful and beautiful but a time bomb. A bomb which affect our health, our safety, tragedy like the nuclear bomb which released by the American at Nagasaki and Hiroshima will happen once more. May be this time the title which stated in the History's book will be different but i do believed the consequence more or less will be the same..

When i thought about this, my impression toward Malaysia gradually changed into worried...
I just don't understand why the government have to be so selfish..why can't they think for us just for once?

Why we have to be one to be sacrifice?? Honestly if this is the only way for Malaysia to ahead in level and to be emulated, i would rather Malaysia remain at an undeveloped stage!! It is sad to see Malaysia from a peaceful and beautiful stage change to be a polluted place...

Even three years old kid knew garbage have to throw inside the garbage's bin, but why the politicians don't know this principle instead of  "throwing garbage" in our own country?? If this is Singapore, i think the first person to be lockup in the jail will be the Prime Minister. They know Lynas is the main cause which bring radioactive substance to Malaysia, but why they still approve for them to built the factory in Malaysia?? The most insane was the 12 years duty-free!!! LOL.. the government is insane!!!! Hello!!! Since when you became so compassionate?? No earning and no tax huh~ May be Malaysia will earn something but it is meager compared to what they earn for our country...Come on man! Wake up!! the Prime Minister of Malaysia!! We are your citizens, why we have to be the one to be sacrifice? This is not Hollywood's or Bollywood's film okay, don't tell me----> " I am sorry..We have no choice,  because you are the chosen one by the God to sacrifice" or " Oh~they can provide us lots of job opportunities". Excuse me!! Stop using those lame excuses!!!!
WE ARE YOUR CITIZENS!!!  Even Taiwanese is praying and felt pity for us. I think not only Taiwan but the whole world~

Please don't used your citizens, the future generations to be your stake because of the little bit of profit...
STOP LYNAS AND SAVE MALAYSIA~ I will be grateful that you think for the future peoples~