It was like finally, we have a chance to meet up.
It has been a while since after Form 6. I never see Tan Cheong Loong for almost 6 years. Imagine where have I been all this while.
We talk about life, current status and friends.
Matters which have my attention the most would be the current status of my bestie, Cow.
Tan connected Cheah with her but it was a story that I never hear from her.
I am curious and texted her. She did not reply.
May be she is busy.
Unintentionally, I stalked her FB and... I realised, I missed a lot of opportunities to grow old with her. She is a friend that I want to keep for life. However, I felt that we are getting distant. I missed those days.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
#the 13 days
久违了~ 心情非常漂浮。
再多13天，终于可以回国了。可却同时，心情也漂浮着无数的纳闷。
能够回国是件好事也同时可能是。。。
I am predicting things are over when I left the UK on the 9th.
The expectation should not happen in the first place.
Never regret on giving a try on this relationship. However, I should have predicted this to happen when my UK's journey ends.
Never regret coming to the UK for my final year. I gained and lost nothing. I am grateful.
I guess the only thing I missed, most probably will be the chance to study better than I possibly could. The chance for me to get a better result. To conclude it as missed, I rather say it as a regret on never try the best that I could.
Anyway, I am ready for the incoming, may be.
Good luck Sheryi!
再多13天，终于可以回国了。可却同时，心情也漂浮着无数的纳闷。
能够回国是件好事也同时可能是。。。
I am predicting things are over when I left the UK on the 9th.
The expectation should not happen in the first place.
Never regret on giving a try on this relationship. However, I should have predicted this to happen when my UK's journey ends.
Never regret coming to the UK for my final year. I gained and lost nothing. I am grateful.
I guess the only thing I missed, most probably will be the chance to study better than I possibly could. The chance for me to get a better result. To conclude it as missed, I rather say it as a regret on never try the best that I could.
Anyway, I am ready for the incoming, may be.
Good luck Sheryi!
Monday, September 26, 2016
#lost
Finished watching 'Kimi no nawa', which was one of the best animation so far I have encountered. The storyline was good and surprisingly, the drawing was really good. It is so perfect and detail.
Sparkle from Kimi no Nawa was my favorite OST.
But somehow, it gave me a 'dock-doki' feeling.
The song's melody gave me a hope but it gave me a miserable heart beat feeling as well.
I can really feel the insecureness which in builded inside.
There's way too many unpredictable and uncontrollable.
What, when, where, how.
What will I be in future?
Friday, August 12, 2016
The Sudden
太突然了， 也太快了吧～ 我幾乎不知所措。 為甚麼他會這麼做呢？我幾乎不知道應該給什麼反應，雖然那個不是我的初吻。如果是的話，我應該會給他一巴掌。呵呵～ 可是。。。我還是覺得太突然了。從未有過的驚慌失措。 我完了！
Thursday, August 11, 2016
Game Over
Long gone from this little cute paradise and here I am to rant or may be puke things I wanted to.
For the least, here is the only place that I found inner peace. I don't have to think about who and who's feeling that I need to care about. Is all me!
There's a lot of changes in my life recently. My result, my life back to Malaysia and the people that I met.
The most significant change is, I could not fly back to Malaysia and graduate with my course mates, which is a huge disappointment. I am so, so disappointed to myself. How could I done this silly mistake? The worst moment when my Dad told me that he supposed to be in UK for my graduation but not for holidays and he continued saying that I am not working hard enough. I nearly burst into tears but I know, I shouldn't and not supposed to because, my Dad was right. I am not working hard enough. I can actually feel the disappointment which I have given to my parents. The only words which floated in my mind was, I AM SUCKS! I m sucks...
I certainly have no idea is this a plan which meant for me. Am I meant to stay? Away from home, away from all the factors which obstructed me from finding myself? Anyhow, I am hearing, I am hearing to the way my heart leading me, and I am hearing to you, God. I will be keep going and be the best of me. I know, there's no turning back. I am so gonna scored this two subjects! Not matter what. I learned and changes start from now.
Recently, my crush when I was 19, texted me and he is flirting as what he did last time. He asked about my relationship with my Ex, and he comforted me with 'more fishes in the sea'. This was okay actually but he added, he might be the fish with 'I am joking' added at the back of the sentence. If back in those years when I was 19, I might falls for him again. But, he hurts me when I am willing to hand over my heart to him. He did not appreciate but taking for granted. I was being hurt deeply. I cried for my silliness almost every night. I cried for my stupidity almost every time I reflects back. I regretted on confronting him about how I feels about him. The most ironically moment when he rejected me with, 'I treated her as my sister'. I am grateful. Because, I grown up after his incident. He taught me about getting close, having mutual feelings doesn't meant that we are in love, it can be brother and sister's love. I learned and accepted this fact. I don't hate him but when I was 19, he took away my naive, my weakness, my heart and replaced it with rational, strong and steel. It is a good lesson and believe me or not, we will only be remained as friends forever. Your flirting, a strange numbness, unlike anything I have felt before. Game is over but I am grateful for what you have done to me. Thank you, my 19 years old's crush.
For the least, here is the only place that I found inner peace. I don't have to think about who and who's feeling that I need to care about. Is all me!
There's a lot of changes in my life recently. My result, my life back to Malaysia and the people that I met.
The most significant change is, I could not fly back to Malaysia and graduate with my course mates, which is a huge disappointment. I am so, so disappointed to myself. How could I done this silly mistake? The worst moment when my Dad told me that he supposed to be in UK for my graduation but not for holidays and he continued saying that I am not working hard enough. I nearly burst into tears but I know, I shouldn't and not supposed to because, my Dad was right. I am not working hard enough. I can actually feel the disappointment which I have given to my parents. The only words which floated in my mind was, I AM SUCKS! I m sucks...
I certainly have no idea is this a plan which meant for me. Am I meant to stay? Away from home, away from all the factors which obstructed me from finding myself? Anyhow, I am hearing, I am hearing to the way my heart leading me, and I am hearing to you, God. I will be keep going and be the best of me. I know, there's no turning back. I am so gonna scored this two subjects! Not matter what. I learned and changes start from now.
Recently, my crush when I was 19, texted me and he is flirting as what he did last time. He asked about my relationship with my Ex, and he comforted me with 'more fishes in the sea'. This was okay actually but he added, he might be the fish with 'I am joking' added at the back of the sentence. If back in those years when I was 19, I might falls for him again. But, he hurts me when I am willing to hand over my heart to him. He did not appreciate but taking for granted. I was being hurt deeply. I cried for my silliness almost every night. I cried for my stupidity almost every time I reflects back. I regretted on confronting him about how I feels about him. The most ironically moment when he rejected me with, 'I treated her as my sister'. I am grateful. Because, I grown up after his incident. He taught me about getting close, having mutual feelings doesn't meant that we are in love, it can be brother and sister's love. I learned and accepted this fact. I don't hate him but when I was 19, he took away my naive, my weakness, my heart and replaced it with rational, strong and steel. It is a good lesson and believe me or not, we will only be remained as friends forever. Your flirting, a strange numbness, unlike anything I have felt before. Game is over but I am grateful for what you have done to me. Thank you, my 19 years old's crush.
Monday, April 25, 2016
想念
要考试～ 考试过后，人生的转折点似乎也该开始了。
人的感觉真的很奇怪。
我们明明分手了，可是我好像开始想念了～
生活中，'他'的存在并没有少。不管是看过，听过，吃过，只要是有曾经，都会联想到他。
会想到，这好像是他会喜欢的。
会想到，这是他爱听的歌。
会想到，他的偶像也。。。
会想到，只要是与他有关系的，我们的曾经。。。
如果你问我，后悔吗？
没有～ 我很肯定，我们必须分手。
如果你问我，为什么？
我不知道。我只能说，我很自私。我想飞的更高。平淡，不是我想要的。
如果你问我，你爱他吗？
我不知道。我只能说，那答案好像动摇了。心中，还会有那一丝，想要知道他的近况。想要知道他过的还好吗？他，有遇到更好的吗？
如果你问我，这会不会是你对他的亏欠？
这段感情，我很内疚。
内疚感。。。
不曾少过
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